1. Marriage is not a word. It's a 

sentence a life sentence.

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. 

Therefore marriage is an institution 

for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a 

man loses his Bachelor, and 

The woman gets her masters.

4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: 

engagement ring, wedding ring and 

suffering.

5. Married life is full of excitement: In 

the first year of marriage,

the man speaks and the woman 

listens. In the second year, the woman

speaks and the man listens. In the 

third year, they both speak, and 

the NEIGHBOuRS listen.

6. Son:

How much does it cost to get married, 

Dad? Father: I don't know son, 

I'm still paying.

7. Love is one long sweet dream, and 

marriage is the alarm clock.

8. They say that when a man holds a 

woman's hand before marriage, it 

Is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

9. When a newly married man looks 

happy, we know why. But when a 

10-year married man looks happy, 

we wonder why.

10. There was this lover who said that 

he would go through hell for 

her. They got married, and now he is 

going through HELL.

11. Confucius says: a woman who sinks 

into a man's arm soon, will soon

have her arms in the man's sink.

12. When a man steals your wife, there 

is no better revenge than to let him 

keep her.

13. Eighty percent of married men cheat 

in America, the rest cheat in

Europe.

14. After marriage, husband and wife 

become two sides of a coin.

They can't face each other, but they 

still stay together.

15. Marriage is when man and a woman 

become one. The trouble starts 

When they try to decide which one.

16. "I married Miss right, I just didn't 

know her first name was Always."

17. It's not true that married men live 

longer than single men,

It only seems longer.

18. Losing a wife can be hard. In my 

case, it was almost impossible.

19. A man was complaining to a 

friend: "I HAD IT ALL - MONEY, A

BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A 

BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT 

WAS ALL

GONE." "WHAT HAPPENED?" asked 

his friend. He says "MY WIFE FOUND 

OUT."

20. WIFE: Let's go out and have some 

fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if

you get home before I do, leave the 

hallway lights on.

21. At a cocktail party, one woman said 

to another: "AREN'T YOU 

WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG 

FINGER?" The other replied, "YES, I 

AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN."

22. Man is incomplete until he gets 

married, then he is finished.

23. No matter how often a married 

man changes his job, he still endsup

with the same boss.

24. A man inserted an ad in the paper -

WIFE WANTED. The next day he

received two hundred forty eight?

letters,?and they all said YOU CAN 

HAVE MINE.

25. When a man opens the door of his 

car for his wife, you can be

sure of one thing either the car is new 

or the wife is...