In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have

sex with animals, but the animals must be 

female. Having sexual relations with a male

animal is punishable by death.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally 

examine a woman's genitals, but 

is prohibited from looking directly at them

during the examination. He may only see

their reflection in a mirror.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Muslims are banned from looking at the 

genitals of a corpse. This also applies

>to undertakers. The sex organs of the 

deceased must be covered with a brick

or piece of wood at all times.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia

is decapitation.

 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

There are men in Guam whose full-time 

job is to travel the countryside and

deflower young virgins, who pay them for 

the privilege of having sex for the first time

Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly 

forbidden for virgins to marry.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally 

allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but 

may only do so with her bare hands. The

husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, 

may be killed in any manner desired.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool,

England - but only in tropical fish stores.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have 

sex with her husband, and the first time this

happens, her mother must be in the room to

witness the act.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man 

to have sex with a woman and her daughter

at the same time.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms 

from vending machines with one exception: 

Prophylactics may be dispensed from a 

vending machine only "in places where 

alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption 

on the premises."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 

calories an hour.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Humans and dolphins are the only species 

that have sex for pleasure.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can

pull 30 times its own weight and always falls

over on its right side when intoxicated. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Butterflies taste with their feet.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Starfish don't have brains.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Turtles can breathe through their arses.

 ****************************************

Abdul Kasem Ismael, Grand Vizier of Persia in the tenth century, carried his library with him wherever he went. The 117,000 volumes were carried by 400 camels trained to walk in alphabetical order.

Contrary to popular belief, life has been pretty tough for Riley for the last few years

Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool

Indecision is the basis of flexibility

Computers allow us to make more mistakes at a faster rate than any other man-made thing, with the exception of handguns and tequila.

I cannot be hypnotised. I remind the hypnotist of this every Wednesday when I go round his house to wash his car.

Putting the word "Amphetamines" on your CV, regardless of context, is not likely to get you an interview.

A teacher was explaining how a double negative, when spoken, always gives a positive. 'This,' he said, 'is true in every language accross the world. However, there is no example in any culture where a double positive gives a negative!' Looking proud, the teacher sits down, and there's a short silence, followed by a sarcastic voice: 'Yeah, right.'

They say "no man is an island", but then what about the Isle of Man?

If you were to recite everything Jesus is recorded to have said, it would take less than two hours.

A man without a paunch is like a house without a porch.

ELVIS IS MAKING A COMEBACK. HE HAS ONLY THREE FEET TO GO.