For all Employees Who Work With Rude Customers

An award should go to the Virgin Airlines gate attendant in Sydney some months ago for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.

A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin's 767s had been withdrawn from service.
A single attendant was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, ' I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS'.

The attendant replied, 'I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these people first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out.'
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, 'DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?'

Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address microphone: 'May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please,' she began - her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal.
'We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14.'

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the Virgin attendant, gritted his teeth and said, 'F... You!'
Without flinching, she smiled and said, (I love this bit ).................



'I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too.'

Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES  FOR?
A: It's Braille for 'suck here'.

The meaning of life for:

Taoism - Shit Happens !

Buddhism - If shit happens, it isn't really shit !

Islam - If shit happens it is the will of Allah !

Catholicism - If shit happens, you deserve it !

Judaism - Why does this shit always happen to us ?

Atheism - I don't believe this shit !