corkers
September, 20th 2007 04:02 AM
Not the whole truth
A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking
company's fancy hot shot lawyer was questioning Clyde.
"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the
lawyer.
Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded
my favourite cow, Bessie, into the..."
"I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer
The question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"
Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was
driving down the road...."
The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Your Honour, I am trying to
establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told
the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."
By this time, the Judge having had a fairly slow day became interested
in Clyde 's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he
has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie".
Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Well as I was saying, I had
Just loaded Bessie, my favourite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop
Sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move.
However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was
In terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at
me, looked me in the eye, and said, "How are you feeling?"
 
"Now what would you say?"
 
  
The meaning of life for:
 
Taoism - Shit Happens !
Buddhism - If shit happens, it isn't really shit !
Islam - If shit happens it is the will of Allah !
Catholicism - If shit happens, you deserve it !
Judaism - Why does this shit always happen to us ?
Atheism - I don't believe this shit !
 
  
It's the AFL Grandfinal and a man makes his way to his seat right on
the wing. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty.

He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there.

"No," says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." This is incredible", said
the man. "Who in their right mind would

have a seat like this for AFL Grandfinal and not use it?"

The neighbour says "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was

supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the

first AFL Grand final we haven't been to together since we got married
in 1967."

"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you

find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take

the seat?"

The man shakes his head "No, they're all at the funeral."


 

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