Appraisals                  

The British Military writes OFR's 

(officer fitness reports).  The form

used for Royal Navy and Royal Marines 

fitness reports is the S206. The

following are actual excerpts taken 

from people's "206's"....

His men would follow him anywhere,

but only out of curiosity.

I would not breed from this Officer.

This Officer is really not so much

of a has-been, but more of a

definitely won't-be.

When she opens her mouth,

it seems that this is only to change

whichever foot was previously in there.

He has carried out each and every 

one of his duties to his entire

satisfaction.

He would be out of his depth in

a car park puddle.

Technically sound, but socially impossible.

This Officer reminds me very 

much of a gyroscope - always spinning

around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.

This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

When he joined my ship, this

Officer was something of a granny;

since then he has aged considerably.

This Medical Officer has used

my ship to carry his genitals from

port to port, and my officers to

carry him from bar to bar.

Since my last report he has reached 

rock bottom, and has started to

dig.

She sets low personal standards

and then consistently fails to

achieve them.

He has the wisdom of youth, and 

the energy of old age.

This Officer should go far - 

and the sooner he starts, the better.

In my opinion this pilot should 

not be authorized to fly below 250

feet.

The only ship I would recommend this man

for is citizenship.

Works well when under constant 

supervision and cornered like a rat

in a trap

  
Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy 
who has a broken leg.
Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate,
could you nip upstairs and get me 
slippers?" 
"No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs
and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 
year old twin daughters sat on their beds.
"Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here
to shag ya both."
"Fook off you liar!". 
"I'll prove it," Murphy says.
So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of 
them, Paddy?"
"Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?"