after nearly 45 years/...I love my job/...new word
February, 07th 2008 23:15 PM

fter nearly 45 years of marriage, a couple was lying

in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband

begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't done in quite

some time.



It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck,

and then began moving down past the small of her back.

He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked

his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her

lower stomach.



He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner

arm, caressed past the side of her breast again,

working down her side, passed gently over her buttock

and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up

her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost

portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on

her right side, then suddenly stopped, r olled over and

became silent.



As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she

asked in a loving voice, 'Honey, that was wonderful.

Why did you stop?'



I found the remote,' he mumbled.

 

LOVE MY JOB . . .


Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.


Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to Radio Station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all .

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: we have a diesel-powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

On this particular day. everything was going well until, all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it; however, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he and five other divers were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.


So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your BUTT.

Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my
job."


Today's word from our  

Public School System
OMELETTE
Let's use it in a sentence:

'I should pop yo ass fo what you jus did, but omelette dis one slide.'  

 

 

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