a muslim.../...a man in a.../...i just read.../...well.../...
October, 16th 2008 05:18 AM

A Muslim was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.

The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.  
The flight attendant then asked the Muslim if he would like a drink.  
He replied in disgust, I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips.

The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, Me, too.

I didn't realize we had a choice

 

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.'
Passenger: 'Who?'
Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.'
Passenger: 'There are always a few clouds over everybody.'
Cabbie: 'Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.'
Passenger: 'Sounds like he was something really special.
Cabbie: 'There's more... He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse , and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right'
Passenger: 'Wow, some guy then.'
Cabbie: 'He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too - He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.'
Passenger: 'An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?'
Cabbie: 'Well, I never actually met Frank, he died. I married his f---ing widow.' 

 

I just read an article on the
dangers of drinking...
 
 
 
Scared the hell out of me!
 
 
 
So that's it!
   
       







After today, no more reading.

 

Well, sometimes life is a bitch. You come home after a long, hard work day. You really hope that your newly employed and not so intelligent cleaning lady at least has cleaned some of the rooms in the house for you!

You struggle to get up the steps, find the key and open the door to your residence, and then you find her sitting there on her arse, eating dinner that she has cooked for HERSELF ONLY! Unbelievable. She has been home the whole day and she couldn't even cook you dinner. You think to yourself, 'Why the heck did I hire her?'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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