June, 26th 2008 03:40 AM
5 Nuns in Town
Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Frances & Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City and were sight-seeing on a Tuesday in July.
It was hot and humid in town and their traditional garb was making them so uncomfortable, they decided to stop in at Patty McGuire's Pub for a cold soft drink.
Patty had recently added special legs to her barstools, which were the talk of the fashionable eastside neighbourhood. All 5 Nuns sat up at the bar and were enjoying their Cokes when Monsignor Riley and Father McGinty entered the bar throught the front door.
They, too, came for a cold drink when they were shocked and almost fainted at what they saw.
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A guy fell asleep on the beach for several
hours and got horrible sunburn, specifically to his
upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was
promptly admitted after being diagnosed with
second-degree burns. With his skin already starting
to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the
doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding
with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill
every four hours.
The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked,
'What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor'?
The doctor replied, 'It won't do anything for his condition, but it'll keep the sheets off his
legs.
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives.
By following the simple advice I heard on a Medical TV show, I have finally found inner peace.
A Doctor proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.
So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies, thamainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a chocolets. Yu haf no idr who fkin gud I fel. Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee AR in ned ov inr pece.
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