February, 26th 2009 03:40 AM
Q. Two Liverpool girls jump off a cliff. Who wins?
A. Society.
Q. What does a Liverpool girl use as protection during sex?
A. A bus shelter.
Q. What do you call a 30 year old Scouse girl?
A. Granny.
Q. Why did the Scouse girl cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason whatsoever.
Q. What do you call a Scouse girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.
Q. What's the first question during a Scouse quiz night?
A. What you looking at?
Q. Two Scouse kids in a car without any music - who is driving?
A. The policeman.
Q. What's the difference between a Scouse boy and a Scouse girl?
A. A Scouse girl has a higher sperm count.
Q. What's the most confusing day in Liverpool?
A. Fathers day
IRISH MEDICAL DICTIONARY:-
Artery......................... The study of paintings
Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria
Barium......................... What doctors do when patients die
Benign......................... What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section...............A neighborhood in Rome
Catscan....................... Searching for the pussy
Cauterize...................... Made eye contact with her
Colic.......................... A sheep dog
Coma........................... A punctuation mark
Dilate......................... To live long
Enema.......................... Not a friend
Fester......................... Quicker than someone
else
Fibula......................... A small lie
Impotent....................... Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain.....................Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff.................. A Doctor's cane
Morbid......................... A higher offer
Nitrates....................... Cheaper than day rates
Node........................... I knew it
Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted
Pelvis......................... Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative................. A letter carrier
Recovery Room.................. Place to do upholstery
Rectum......................... Nearly killed him
Secretion...................... Hiding something
Seizure........................ Roman emperor
Tablet......................... A small table
Terminal Illness............... Getting sick at the airport
Tumour..........................One plus one more
Urine.......................... Opposite of you're out
2 Condoms..................To be sure, to be sure!
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