.../...On his first day.../...The day the.../...
September, 07th 2009 17:39 PM

On his first day on the job, the trainee dialled the kitchen and shouted
into the phone:  "Get me a F***ING cup of coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded: "You fool, you've dialled the
wrong extension!  Do you know who you're talking to?"

"No," replied the trainee.

"It's the Managing Director of the company, idiot!"

The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are F***ING talking
to, you F***ING idiot?"

"No!" replied the Managing Director indignantly

"Thank F**K for that!" replied the trainee and slammed down the phone.

The Day the Penis asked for a Raise  
 

 I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
 I do physical labour.
 I work at great depths.
 I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
 I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
 I work in a damp environment.
 I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
 I work in high temperatures.
 No matter where I go for work, I always end up working next to an arsehole.
 My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
 Sincerely,
 
 P. Niss

 The Response
Dear Penis:
 After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
 You do not work 8 hours straight.
 You fall asleep after brief work periods.
 You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
 You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
 You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the
 Correct protective clothing.
 You will retire well before you are 65.
 You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task...
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
 Sincerely,
 
 V. Gina


 

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