.../...lifesaver.../...fancy dress.../...
December, 04th 2008 04:01 AM

A woman sitting in a Darwin Pub suddenly began to cough.      

                         
 After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two        
 locals, Bluey and Bazza sitting at the next table turned to look at her.    

              
 Ken ya swaller? asked Bluey      

                                                       
 The woman signalled 'No!’ desperately shaking her head.  

                              
Kin ya breathe?' asked Bazza. The woman shook her head No!!!            

                
 With that, Bluey walked behind her, lifted up the back of her dress, yanked down her  
 knickers and ran his tongue up and down the crack of her butt.    

                        
 This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her
 mouth and she began to breathe again.    

                                                 
 Bluey swaggered back to his table and took a deep swig of his beer.  

                   
 Bazza said in admiration 'Ya know Bluey, I'd heard of that bloody Hind Lick          
 Manoeuvre, but that's the first time I ever seen somebody do it.'         

 

Costume Party
A couple was invited to a swanky costume party.  The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.  
He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go the party.
Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.   
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice looking woman he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his    current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.  
Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed.
So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.    Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had.  
He said: 'Oh, the same old thing. You  know I never have a good time when you're not  there.'

'Did you dance much?'

'I'll tell you,  I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys and we went into the den and played poker all evening.
But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to....'

 

 

 

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