what the who the where
August, 17th 2011 20:05 PM

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The rugby bit:

Published 11.8.11

 

What the who… the where…

I missed all the games this weekend and to write something that hasn’t been regurgitated from the fools mouth would be contrary to his quango, which is a word he heard recently but has no idea what it means – if anyone can help please drop me a postcard with a captivating seaside scene.

 

What I can determine is a set piece showdown that England managed to stranglehold Wales with that reaffirms their contention for offering a mozzie bite with no danger of any repercussion, which if I were to think about it, is possibly the phrasal quango equivalent of the single word – confused? Good.

 

Nevertheless, Sam Warburton proved his world class worth again, so I’m told, mostly by a Welsh friend who is probably the skinniest Welshman I’ve ever met, which although didn’t worry me, but when recently on a plane looking at a Legends’ series on the All Blacks there ran a story of the haka and how the Kiwis new nothing about it and just went out and basically ‘disco-ed’ to whatever move they deemed menacing, but a 60’s clip saw one All Black with the spindliest pegs I’ve ever seen and I wondered if that would be allowed in the modern game – I don’t think he would be picked on the image alone, regardless whether he was the best fullback in the world or not.

 

Back in Wales, England’s inability to score a try, not seen for 14 Tests, caused Toby Flood to cry, ‘embarrassing’, and ‘shameful’. Johnno, described it as, ‘the strangest game I’ve ever seen.’ such was their dominance coupled with the finishing skills of a sterile mosquito.

 

19-9 came the final score to Wales courtesy of a James Hook try, but let’s not forget this is a training exercise, one that every nation is conceding to accept, except the Oil Slick, that continues to spread their load without due wanton care or regard for any stalks that get in their way.

 

Ireland in a similar fate of continuitual ficklety didn’t bother turning up for their match against France in the first half and ran the Frogs ragged in the second, which can be much said vice-versa, but don’t try it at home or you’ll end up with your tongue up your arse.

 

Declan Kidney lamented, ‘I’d hate to go back in the past and say that I’m really glad we had a great second half. That’s the sort of thing we would have said in the past. We lost the game and that’s what we need to look at’.

 

Vincent Clerc put pay to that games solo try that mysteriously scored his 9th try in 9 games against the Irish, but if you’re not numerically spooked then it means, of course, nothing.

 

Tri-Nations

As the above, I’m at a loss, but can only gauge a 14-9 scoreline to the Wallabies in Durban over the Boks put pay to yet another hot and cold existence of Aussie bookmakers fret and a dark horse shadow to determine whether there is actually any overcast to South Africa’s realistic credentials for an upset… or is there!

 

Fiji will be happy they put one over on Tonga 27-12 and as for Japan, against… who? Can’t remember, so that was that.

 

fool says:

 

ITM and Currie Cup are on hold till they stop playing every bloody day of the week and we get to somewhere near the finals!

 

Some shorts:

*Henson is probably out of the World Cup due to surgery required on a wrist bone, which despite the temptation to run into a song has nothing to do with Stephen Donald’s move to bath next year – by the way he’s 6ft 3” and still only 27… yes, it gets weirder by the sentence doesn’t it.

 

 

We’re done… or are we!

 

For the latest news ‘see’ crazy fool’s Radio Show – click on red icon, top left of home page.

 

Some competitions now: If you’d like to take part in fool’s rugby comps check out the comps & results page –win a prize! – I should probably check it myself, as I can’t remember what comps are up for grabs.

 

Send your team(s) to cf.crazyfool@gmail.com – argh yes, teams, that was it - teams.

 

end rugby here!

 

 

 

A willow the wisp of cricket now:

 


 

And now ladies and gentlemen a thribble on the light side:

 


 

Decipher this…

Unlike James Cagney sitting on top of the world England will not go down in a blaze of lead, mostly because the looters have already had that off any aspirational church rooftop.

 

They will however, pursue riches of autonomy saddled on the back of a well worked plan.

 

Wickets fell like a whores draws on Day 1 with Broad and Bresnan revealing 4 a piece to oust the Indians for 224 all gone.

 

MS Dohni salvaged any pride with 77, as Day 2 saw Cook roll onto Day 3 with 294 out, that’s right ladies and gentlemen, 294… six shy of a treble-ton, 39 shy of Gooch’s best England notch against India, and not even half of England’s 710-7 declaration score here at the Edge – I know… slacker.

 

And so despite Cook’s show stopper, Jimmy had to while in the shadows by knocking off this incompetent Indian shambles with 4-85, as Swann and the Bres, for he deserves a ‘the’ now after his unplayable ball that saw off Sehwag, and the tourists finally wilted on 242 runs prompting Levi to end this chapter in what is nothing shy of sporting greatness regards their No.1 spot,

 

‘It’s a statement we wanted to do and its great testament to our players we got there.’

 

There, he said, it, an that was about as emotional as it got, as this English mob are gunning for greatness to prevail, they want Windie and Australian status, they want to take teams apart for a very long time, they want, as KP tells us, to expose fear in opposition.

 

They might just do that, as there is no flaw in any position, not even on the bench; of this side that has beaten Australia at home and away, drawn in South Africa and smashed the No.1 test side to become the No.1 Test side in the last couple of years – who wouldn’t you want in your side – Stevie Finn, there’s only one Stevie Finn, at 6ft billion, that’s the only one you’d hesitate at – and I’ve lost my train of thought...

 

… So, the world is rubber-necking at this side. KP says it’s down to obvious raw talent, nurtured by great management, and upholstered by absolute no jealousies if say Cooky snapping a double ton, or Trott or Kp or Prior or if Jimmy’s putting in all the swing and The Bres is taking the cream, what about Tremlett and don’t forget who’s riding the white Swann – what? Yeah, carried away now.

 

Point being, KP, on behalf of peers, only have time for one man…

 

‘This side has an outstanding leader in Strauss – he really is a special man.’

 

- Which in all honesty is a little bit like the ECCS – bring back Simon!

 

In the snippets

*Don’t know what the Aussies and Sri Lankan’s are doing but no doubt there’ll be a grease monkey or two in the spanners.

 

It’s early now and… - I’m done

 

The team that likes roll mops and partying and belts and rum and temptations and feathers and Steve Finn and proverbs and coordinates and pigeons and tiddly winks and Jessie’s! And spin and the Beatles and Buddy Holly and side-show Bob and Ant and Dec and capes and japes and basketball and indoor cricket and psyche and a good rib-dig and loose ends and first balls and a good roasting, and triple tons and whoa-ha-ha’s and cooking and cradles and Yorkshire puddings…and 2010/11 Ashes, and the Gods

 

Till next week…


 

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