The long awaited Rebel outfit from Melbourne turned out to be nothing shy of a wet squid. With all the hype surrounding the Cip’s bench mark he found himself on the paddock after 9 minutes and took that added extra time to do absolutely bugger all. But when you’re behind a backwards pack, it’s hard to make an impression. Their 43-0 drubbing was nothing short of one man tearaway in Phil Waugh, who deserved the final try off a back of a maul, which added to a couple each from Beale and Mitchell, plus a short rumble from Tatafu Polota-Nau and a snipe from Luke Burgess/ Brumbies held on to beat Chiefs 28-20. After a first half flurry of three tries the Chiefs were the second half finishers with three of their own/ Blues finished 24-22 the better of Crusaders after visiting the sheds on a 6-19 deficit. Mealamu opted to run a penalty in the last ten minutes which paid off with him scoring. Tony Woodcock and Sean Maitland scored earlier for fool’s Fantasy team - crazy fool’s Cats/ Bulls had to stave off a Lions fight back, which seems to be the theme this opening week, they eventually won 24-20 after being up 24-5 at half time in a wet Ellis Park/ Sharks completed another 24 pointer over a Cheetah’s 9 in another wet and classless Durban – a couple of push-overs was as adventurous as it got/ ‘Cane’s and Highlandersopened up the season with the latter nabbing it 14-9 thanks to a try from Lima Sopaga/ And the last game saw a 12-6 lead at half time slip from the visitors hands, as the Reds edged a win in Brisbane 21-20 over Force.
LV=Cup: Not this week
Heineken Cup
The quarter’s in, ooh, April some time, are: Northampton play Ulster – Leinster v Leicester – Perpignan against Toulon and Biarritz versus Toulouse.
Aviva Premiership
Newcastle slumped 13-23 to Exeter and stare down both barrels of the relegation tunnel/ Gloucester continue their fickle season with a 23-9 win over the Exiles. Luke Narroway, the mobile No.8 scored along with Akaposi Qera on the flank to finish a wonderful move started from Tom Voyce/ Leicester wrapped up Wasps 21-12 despite some huge defence from Wasps flank Serge Betsen. Manu Tuilagi scored alongside Jeremy Staunton – look out for him in England’s third World Cup game!? Sarries thumped Leeds 38-0. The Yorkshire outfit sit firmly at the bottom with three points between them and Newcastle, although Neil Back could only praise the Tigers defence, suggesting it was the best he’s seen from an opposition all year, and he should know, because they’ve been beaten enough/ Bath put 38 past Northampton’s 8 thanks to a hatrick from wing/ come centre Banahan/ And Quins saw to Sale in the mud at 21-9 with two tries from Greg and Brown in the mud.
Magners: Dunno
Top 14: Ditto
fool says:
Hey, guess what? Italy will scare Wales, play a good solid set piece, come close in Rome, but will not beat Wales – how difficult can this result be! Wales up by 9
England against France – huge – anyone’s for the taking. The only French weakness could be argued to be their cohesion in times of Frenchness, and there’s no better team to rattle a French jou ne se qoi. than Foden, Youngs and Cueto, who will all shine. And if fool hears one swallow he’ll get his air gun out – who cares!
Scotland at home to Ireland – Come on Scotland, really, how does a team play ten games on song, beat the Southern Hemisphere all over the place then play shite – what are they French! If that doesn’t rally them then let the Irish win; this is nothing against Ireland, but the dogged deservedness of a team’s Sweaty potential.
Some shorts:
*Toulon says, ‘Sonny Boy Williams c’est fini!’ Actually le Var Martin the local newspaper said that, and just where do you get off calling a paper Martin, but then I suppose the UK has it’s Dave TV channel. Anyhow, they’ll not fork out his un-asked-for-Rooney-fee. Sonny’s going to pretend that he’ll like his New Zealand contract after the Wold Cup, not that of course the Land of the Long White Cloud isn’t a nice spot but a truck load of cash next to the French Riviera… hang on, it isn’t full of French anymore, so all the more reason, but then yes, those cosmopolitans…
*…yes those cosmopolitans…try Marc Lievremont for a start; the French boss spouting like a spoilt schoolboy has egged on the war of words by siding the Celts with the French by exposing their ‘conviviality’ as a kindred spirit and the Italians their ‘cousins’ as sharing the ‘same quality of life’ to the point of uniting a gang to deploy a bunch of expletives caught in a slingshot flurry reading something like, ‘like don’t we English the!’
pah!
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Some competitions now: If you’d like to take part in fool’s rugby comps check out the comps & results page –win a prize! – I should probably check it myself, as I can’t remember what comps are up for grabs.
Tapas & Bodega: bodega, oh baby when you dance like that… Sangria, mojito’s, plenty, plenty, plenty of wine and beer; Plus, The best Spanish cuisine in Saigon this side of Spain - Which is just to the right of Vietnam, and perhaps a little off centre of Phuket. Cracking live music too.
A willow the wisp of cricket now:
And now ladies and gentlemen a thribble on the light side:
We’ve waited a while…
It’s been a while coming, no not the Super 15’s but of course the completion to the renovations at Wankhede Stadium in Mumbai.
Now that it’s here, it’s not ready! The match due on 13th March hosting Canada and New Zealand is on the brink of collapse as fire safety regulations have hit a barrage of directive denials.
Local fire officer Uday Tatkare explains, ‘The team has found the newly renovated stadium has many loopholes in its safety mechanism.’
Who would have thought the world’s stage would be so finicky?
Virender Sehwag in the meantime bounced 175 off his bat in Dhaka to take India to 370-4 and beat the Bangles by 87 runs, despite a gutsy open from Tamin Iqbal on 70.
Jayewardene helped himself to a ton as Sri Lanka notched 332/7 and cruised past Ashish Bagai’s Canada of 122 all gone – at least the Canadians doubled Kenya figures against New Zealand Caps.
The Aussies ran in a 91 run victory over the Zimmers holding 262/6 of their own saddled with an impressive bowl from Tait, Lee and Johnson, who snared 4 for 19 to trap the Africans 171 all gone.
England on the other hand made a crowd pleaser of their minnow encounter by nudging Holland leg side by 6 wickets but in a nerving 8 balls spare win.
The Dutch stroked a plucky 292/6 with Ryan ten Doeshate bagging 119. Levi hit 88 with Trott on 62, and as Bell fell on 33, 52 off 42 were required – well, you know the result, cos I just told you dumb fuck! Oh, yeah, Colly and the Bop finished it with 30 a piece.
I’m done
The team that likes roll mops and partying and belts and rum and temptations and feathers and Steve Finn and proverbs and coordinates and pigeons and tiddly winks and Jessie’s! And spin and the Beatles and Buddy Holly and side-show Bob and Ant and Dec and capes and japes and basketball and indoor cricket and psyche and a good rib-dig and loose ends and first balls and a good roasting, and triple tons and whoa-ha-ha’s and cooking and cradles and Yorkshire puddings…and 2010/11 Ashes, and the Gods
Till next week…
GTM: Probably the best set of garden and leisure furniture in the world. See the *classified section under business opportunities for more details.
Tapas & Bodega: bodega, oh baby when you dance like that… Sangria, mojito’s, plenty, plenty, plenty of wine and beer; Plus, The best Spanish cuisine in Saigon this side of Spain - Which is just to the right of Vietnam, and perhaps a little off centre of Phuket. Cracking live music too.
The team that likes roll mops and partying and belts and rum and temptations and feathers and Steve Finn and proverbs and coordinates and pigeons and tiddly winks and Jessie’s! And spin and the Beatles and Buddy Holly and side-show Bob and Ant and Dec and capes and japes and basketball and indoor cricket and psyche and a good rib-dig and loose ends and first balls and a good roasting, and triple tons and whoa-ha-ha’s and cooking and cradles and 
