Roll up roll up
September, 01st 2010 21:30 PM

The rugby bit:

 

Roll up, roll up

 

Published 2.9.10

South Africa 22-29

I turned on the telly to watch the highlights and it turned out to be the whole game!

 

I’ve never seen so much rubbish in my life. In the first 20 minutes, The Boks refused to align themselves in defence then point blankly turned down any inclination to tackle.

 

fool’s all for tries and running rugby, and there is no doubt about the benefits of the new laws, what ever they are, something to do with not dying on the pitch, but for the most part their rapid response ideology Test rugby didn’t prevail for most of the game.

 

‘Oi’, I hear you cry, don’t blame the law, blame the boogie. Here’s where I wilt, because yes, some of the rugby was superbly executed, most notably Juan Smith’s try off a swing right by “Red-neck’ Francois Hougaard from a ruck, followed by his switch to Juan to run in unopposed under the sticks.

 

Still, the defence was lacking. The papers gave this dead rubber all the hall marks of a classic, well, if that’s the big time, then it’s only suitable for the Big Top. Comedy rugby at it’s best.

 

But the hell with fool, back to the game; Drew Mitchell was first denied a score, by the TMO in the left corner, however, soon after a rewarded scrum saw Genia dummy Flip van der Merwe, which let’s face it, with a name like that, it doesn’t sound difficult. He then barged through Victor Matfield’s 100th Test stance for a simple try.

 

Kurtly Beale next; sporting a ridiculous caterpillar on his top lip, where did he get that from, Baldrick’s Charlie Chaplin collection! He danced through 5 tackles, which to be fair he executed reasonably well…for school boy rugby defence, nevertheless, finished coolly to offload to Rocky and on to James O’Connor in support for the touch down.

 

Smith got the next for the Boks, as already described and Habana got the next for Australia when he dropped a high-ball which fell into the arms of a pursuing O’Connor.

 

The Boks forwards found an ounce of steerage now, and were beginning to take control of the set pieces - the game’s bread and butter. A well worked lineout saw Gurthro Steenkamp roll off it and bundle over for a score.

 

Habana then cocked up again, and turnover ball saw in Dean Mumm for the Aussies. Hougaard snatched a gap and put away the monster Spies, and then we had the second half!

 

It was a sedate second forty, where the Boks applied some earned pressure. Habana’s cock croaked a third time as he over ran a pass. Luckily for him Frans Steyn collected it and scored.

 

Both Steyn’s hit the boot, and the Wallabies so nearly found themselves in the corner for a late try, bar from a saving tackle, about time, from the wee ‘Red-neck’ himself – Hougaard.

 

JP Pieterson did however; finish off the game with a late try and the ‘Red-neck’ spoke only in Afrikaans after winning the man of the Match, as a sign of respect to the Aussie supporters no doubt.

 

Hats off to Matfield for having such a gorgeous wife, albeit a bit 80’s, but hey, this is South Africa!

 

Do we need to know what the coaches said? Na, fuck it, but the head clown…yes. He still found time to have a go at last week’s subs, “All the reserves who came on did what we wanted from them. Last week they came on and did not have that impact so it’s good to see the change.”

 

Exactly, the ones that didn’t come on this week are rubbish, and last week’s lost them the title.

 

Other results:

Currie Cup: Pumas saw off the Bulls 22-21 in a 4 try to two encounter – Doppies Le Roux stole the silliest name/ Sharks stuffed Griquas 48-30 despite Basson’s four tries/ Lions ran every ball to topple Leopards 45-22. Lock John Snyman topped the lot with a 60m dash/ And Cheetahs held an ill-disciplined WP 29-24, scoring 5 penalties.

 

ITM: Wellington left it late but beat Northland 31-28 – Victor Vito nabbed two there/ Southland stay top after 7 penalties from Robinson in their win over Tasman 21-16/ Counties Manukua went down to Waikato in Hamilton 3-39. That was 7-3 at half time/ And Canterbury cruised past Auckland 35-16.

 

Top14: Florian Fritz threw the first punch for a five yellow game, as Toulouse beat Stade Francais 34-16/ Montpellier did it again, they beat Perpignan this week, 16-6. Vietnam’s Francois Trinh-Duc got the only try/ Agen surprised Biarritz 28-23/ La Rochelle held Bourgoin 20-12, with the only try from No9 Benjamin Ferrou from the seaside town/ Clermont picked off Brive 33-9 with the best try coming from Elvis/ Castres popped six penalties and a try to see off Bayonne 25-16/ And in the battle of the Johnny’s, Racing Metro 92 beat Toulon 36-31. – Well, that’s typical, they’ve gone and played on Wednesday too now; RM92 28 – 17 Clermont/ Montpellier 22-21 Toulouse/ Bourgoin 22-15 Agen/ Bayonne 19-18 Brive/ La Rochelle 13-15 Toulon/ Stade Francais 40-34 Castres/ Perpignan 17-12 Biarittz.

 

Some shorts:

*Aviva Premiership and Magners kick off this weekend – look out for Exeter – they’re there somewhere – look low. Sarries will win, on account of new signings Alex Goode and David Strettle.

 

*PdV defends Bees Roux’s decision to beat a cop to death on the grounds of him trying to rob the Bulls prop. You couldn’t make it up. He just gets better.

 

*Mitchell and Moore get their 50th’s on Saturday. Didn’t realise Moore had been around that long. And come to think of it, Mitchell played that little!

 

 

fool says

Desperately itching for the Wallabies to win this one, just for the sake of a good game, so with that in mind, I think they will – win some ball, keep it, win it - 25-16

 

Some competitions now: If you’d like to take part in fool’s rugby comps check out the comps & results page –win a prize!

 

Send your team(s) to cf.crazyfool@gmail.com

 

end rugby here!

 

 

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A willow the wisp of cricket now:

 

 

 

And now ladies and gentlemen a thribble on the light side:

 

Remember the oval!

 

The unpredictable Pakistanis; everyone called them – we know why. If you look up the word fake it reads Free Asian Kickback Economics.

 

But it’s the self righteous ivory tower dwellers I feel sorry for; are they missing the point? - Some poor teenager, probably only on £50k (real k) a year, which although is tantamount to being a slumdog billionaire right now in Pakistan, especially if you’ve got a boat or an arms deal, nevertheless that is spread around villages the size of Greenland.

 

Yet, this venerable kid, who seems to have been shafted by the Butt, the ring leader of the whole affair, and some other wannabe prophet, yeah, right, as if. And all of a sudden he’s out on his ear probably about to fend for himself forever more in a Lalit Modi/ Stamford Super league for the busted on cricket’s Guantanamo Bay.

 

Unless, you’ve been on the moon, the only thing the world press have missed from the latest betting saga to tarnish cricket’s crisp reputation ever since WG Grace said it had one; is Mazher Majeed’s note book of phone numbers, but no fear the Yanks will find it, just like the enigmas code, St. Nick and turkey – damn, they did find turkey’s.

 

Since the news broke that several Pakistan players have been questionioned for the ‘spot-fixing’ of a few no-balls, turmoil has overshadowed a brilliant topsy-turvy Test match of such magnitude regards, runs, dropped catches, batting collapses that even Bollywood couldn’t have made it up.

 

It even goes back to the Pakistan collapse against Australia in Sydney, which all in all has ripped the edge off some personal tallies to say the least.

 

Yet amongst all the bubbling illicit expectancies of Pakistan, there was some magic cricket, especially from the young prophet M.Amir, who snagged Cook, KP, Colly and Morgan all for nought, all in 8 balls.

 

Now, unless the English were cheating too, you can’t deny the lad’s got talent.

 

Lord’s provided a host of tumbling records, and it would be a shame not to mention Broad’s 169 and his world record 8th stand partnership with Trott (184) of 332 in 95.4 overs.

 

Never before has a father and son Test century been scribbled into the record books, but Stuart reckons his is better, as it was made at home, compared to his father’s who’s were all on tour.

 

So, as the news broke Saturday night, Sunday’s Day 4 was a bit flat. The English dressing room was dumbfounded and disappointed and the Pakistan dressing room, angry and confused; their manager Yahew Saeed expressed, “We didn’t have a cup of coffee either.”

 

Still as Hansie Cronje said before he went to meet Buddy Holly and the Crickets, as his plane went to meet his in the great plane yard in the sky, ‘It Doesn’t matter Anymore.’

 

*Meanwhile in Kandy the Srill’s beat India by 74 runs to win the Tri-series.

 

*KP might be off to South Africa.

 

 

 

The team that likes roll mops and partying and belts and rum and temptations and feathers and Steve Finn and proverbs and coordinates and pigeons and tiddly winks and Jessie’s! And spin and the Beatles and Buddy Holly…

 

Till next week…

 

 

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Other Sports:

In F1

The Ham got the Spa treatment.

 

In boxing:

Harrison and Haye is happening on 13th November. Klitscho says it’s a London thing, yet Holyfield wants to get in there first with Haye, in fact, he wants them all – yep, half-a-ear-Holy’s aim is to unify the belts, which hasn’t been seen since Lennox. He’ll be 48 in October, after that 49 and well, so on. Now, unless he’s some king of Philo Beddoe, that ain’t gonna happen.

 

Athletics

 

 

 

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