Oil Slick cleans up
August, 25th 2010 19:55 PM

The rugby bit:

 

 

Oil Slick cleans up

 

Published 26.8.10

 

South Africa 22-29 New Zealand

For all the ribbing fool dishes out to the All Blacks, it’s time to doff the proverbial and announce them the best team in the world – just as they were in 1987 when it didn’t count, then again in ’88, ’89, ‘90’ 2000, ‘2001, 2002, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2008 and 2009.

 

This game was something special though; perched on an unprecedented streak of wins in front of a 94,000 crowded football stadium 1,753m above sea level, the All Blacks showed the world rugby at its peak.

 

South Africa matched them tooth n nail for a while and even scuppered their wide played plans for much of the game. Much of their heroics came from Schalk Burger and the newly fit Juan Smith.

 

Yet, when it came to the crunch the burly beef of the Boks ran out of puff and their mental agility sank for just a few split seconds at time to allow the never say die Kiwis in for two tries in the last three minutes.

 

The Boks went on the rampage first allowing a platform for the forwards to control to see the ‘Burg’s’ burrow over from close range. The All Blacks returned the Springboks bounce and set to their play of wide, short and up; confusing the men in green at every angle thus eventually created space for Tom Donnelly in the centre to ship a ball to Tony Woodcock on the wing for superb backs try scored by the forwards.

 

In the second half the visitors turned up the heat, but South Africa began to wilt offering various penalties, which DC duly missed. Luckily the ‘Blacks had plenty of steam to bottle a score for Richie McCaw on an overlap, although the Boks will call his foot in touch for ever and a day (Remember the Cueto!)

 

McCaw doubled for winning try too; his turnover found Nonu, who broke through John Smit’s tackle and then passed to Israel Dagg to rub salt in the Boks fatted calf.

 

Smit said, “I couldn’t think of anything worse than losing your 100th Test by missing a tackle at the death. I’ll be disappointed for a very long time.”

 

PdV confirmed their wake saying, “It’s a huge disappointment for us – the dressing room felt like a funeral afterwards.”

 

Neverless, PdV did congratulate the Blacks on their Tri Nations win, without relying on his usual script from Mr. Tourettes, saying “They deserved it playing entertaining rugby.”

 

Eyebrows was equally buoyant on the eclectic atmosphere saying, “They don’t get any bigger than that – a huge Test match, played in front of that crowd, in that stadium. I felt so proud of what they achieved. The character, backed by their guts and togetherness was superb.”

 

Other results:

Currie Cup: Sharks top the table with a 2-1 try count over WP – 26-16/ Cheetahs mauled Leopards 57-0 with 9 tries. The silliest name went to Oosthuizen/ Lions edged Pumas 33-30 with the lead changing hands three times in the second half/ Bulls notched one over Griquas in a thriller; 39-38. But alas, no real silly names in Snyman, Marmaetsa and Greyling who scored for the Bulls/ …And…oh, that’s it

 

ITM: Auckland saw home Northland 26-13/ Whilst Southland took Hawkes Bay 23-20/ Taranaki held Bay of Plenty 24-15/ Wellington Lions scored two tries in six minutes to see off Waikato 26-14/ Counties Manukou eased past Manawata 35-14/ …And shock of the weekend saw Tasman top Canterbury 27-25.

 

Top14: In Bourgoin, Clermont won 25-12, thanks to three tries in the final seven minutes/ Perpignan’s fly half problems continue and they went down to Brive 26-11/ Stade Francais beat the newly promoted seaside town of La Rochelle, with a host of tries in five minutes from Dimitri Szarzeweski, Hugo Southwell and Julien Aries. But don’t right off the Roche’s yet, they’ll prove entertaining in this league/ Montpellier surprised Racing Metro 92 – 36-19 with Geoffery Doumazron getting a hat trick/ …And Biarritz went down to Toulon 3-13 with a couple of drops from Sgt. Wilko.

 

Some shorts:

*Gavin ‘orange’ Henson has been left out of the Ospreys 47 man squad, which indicated his dancing days have well and truly begun. But not before Wasps and Harlequins have a word with him – watch this space...

 

…there, that should be long enough…

 

*DC became the world’s leading Test points scorer after his third penalty on Saturday. That takes him past Sgt. Wilko on…oh…loads.

 

*PdV is off to Europe to have it out with the club/country issue that is wrangling players wages such as Frans Steyn (RM92), Butch James (Bath) and BJ Botha (Ulster) – can’t wait for his dealings on this – welcome back Mr. Tourettes.

 

*And New Zealand have to win their next four games to match Lithuania’s 18 Test wins in a row. Their next opponents are Australia in Hong Kong, England at Twickenham, Scotland at Murrayfield and Ireland at Aviva Stadium Dublin!!!

 

 

Frans…welcome back…you cunt…

 

fool says

…hang on, this is what PdV says, “Australia are not as physical as New Zealand and they won’t play their wide game. They will rely on players like Quade Cooper to use the inside ball to bring big runners like Rocky Elsom into the game. We also can’t ignore the impact of David pocock at the breakdown. He will definitely be a factor.”

 

Having his strings tugged once again by Pretoria you cannot refute the PdV’s facts, but the fact that David Pocock is a David and not a Dave means the fool is out – and will opt for the Boks 31-22 – take into account the boot of the Steyns there too.

 

Some competitions now: If you’d like to take part in fool’s rugby comps check out the comps & results page –win a prize!

 

Send your team(s) to cf.crazyfool@gmail.com

 

end rugby here!

 

 

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A willow the wisp of cricket now:

 

 

 

And now ladies and gentlemen a thribble on the light side:

 

Ye olde rusty gate

Having found a solution to prevent sweating on my PVC chair in just my underpants I am now settled in an imitation silk kimono with a red dragon on the back. The feeling is fantastic.

 

It throws want to the abandonment of forgiveness, which lay in tranquillity in some corner of Kathmandu - Which is now covered in Mars Bar wrappers and corpses; if I were climbing Mt. Everest and all I came across were mars bars wrappers and corpses I’d put two and two together and get in touch with both parties, mars and Boss Sherpa, and tell them that one of them to has to change their name, because it’s not doing them any favours – did the mountain kill you or was it the mars…

 

Back in the real world my pants seem to have de-sweated enough on top of the fan, and the Ambi Pur gel crystals have disguised the stench of ball sweat sufficiently to tell you that Pakistan whipped the English by 4wickets at the Oval last week – but then, you knew that.

 

Chasing 148 the ‘stani’s played their trump card in old man Mohammad Yousuf relying on his 53 and 33 then left Umar Akmal and Mohammad Amir to the finish the job sticking out the last 49 balls for 16 to win.

 

Cook revitalised his confidence with a ton and both Jimmy and Swann pushed the Pakistani’s to the limit with some near unplayable bowling. Yet it was their (England’s) own batting which let this win slip and the chance to top Australia in the Test rankings, which would have required a 4-0 win in the series.

 

Although Salman Butt is keen to slide in his penny’s worth in regards the Ashes, stating England’s bowlers would find the Australian conditions hard, he was also quick to note his weapon of bowling choice in Mohammad Aemir as the real deal. At 5-52, Butt reckoned him to be better than Wasir Akram at this age saying, “He has something special inside of him.”

 

But, let’s go to The Punts’ rants and his latest verbals, which suggested half the English team is in fact a hooded breed of colonial mercenaries, Eon Morgan might well take umbrage to being English, but as the Punts says, he is largely there for his ‘attitude’ as opposed to a tested ability or more’s to the point his tested ability against the Aussies.

 

Nevertheless, as the Punts says, “But it doesn’t matter where they were born. We must make sure that whatever team England put out, we are well-equipped to break them down.”

 

Shane Watson joined in the rant suggesting young Jimmy has never performed well in Australia and Stevie Finn (Chant) will not know what to expect.

 

Bar from veering from the job in hand Ponting’s focus is well and truly on what lays ahead – India. The arrogant (see Australian for confidence) chant of a 5 nil drubbing, something The Punts is adamantly keen to note he didn’t say, but implications are tantamount to a nod and a wink, as well we all know.

 

However, he does like the circus build up and genuinely believes his team are, “there or there abouts on the verge of something special” – His words not mine, but back to the point and his was India; Australia have that job to do first, as the Punts said, “I know it’s an old cliché, but my experience from Test cricket is as soon as you take your eye off the ball, that rusty gate comes back and hits you n the face.”

 

Meanwhile Stuart Broad has denied he’s a loose cannon and despite his occasional brushes with the umpiring law, he says he is not about tone down his aggression. He is adamant a fiery soul is a trait to define a fastie, “I love having those Beatles. I’m certainly not going to rein back too much.” – Too much – not at all – its all or nothing lad – see red - .I’m sorry, I can’t get the Beatles connection…All you need is love…

 

*Meanwhile, the Srills hammered India by 8 wickets to reach the final against…India, who breezed past the Black Caps by 105 runs in Dambulla.

 

Vireneder Sehwag steered them clear with the bat and some collective bowling disposed the Kiwi’s with little resistance bar a half century from Kyle Mills.

 

The team that likes roll mops and partying and belts and rum and temptations and feathers and Steve Finn and proverbs and coordinates and pigeons and tiddly winks and Jessie’s! And spin and the Beatles…

 

Till next week…

 

 

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Other Sports:

In F1

Spa – they all say they’re going to win!

In boxing:

Harrison and Haye – care!

Athletics

Stick with the women’s long jumping – again!

 
 

 

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