Crazy Fool's Newsround - oh flounderers of scotland

oh flounderers of scotland
March, 02nd 2011 19:44 PM

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The rugby bit:

Published 3.3.11

Oh flounderer’s of Scotland

In chronological order

Italy 16-24 Wales

Spring sprung early for the Iti’s in Rome, but mercilessly no Welshmen were left dangling from burning crosses whilst Nero played his violin just before he opened a coffee shop.

The Welsh in fact went home to take a leek knowing their relief was saved by the skin of their teeth.

Morgan Stoddard and Sam Warburton scored early to keep the Italians at bay, but left the door open by not manning the breakdowns. Italy capitalised by running sweet, sweet ball, at surprisingly adventurous, and for their first time, competent backline angles.

Parisse was again the pick of the bunch of the team though, with Gonzalo Canale’s try and presence in the centre a worthy jolt.

If you think the Welsh were poor, you’d be wrong, they played their part with equanimatic aloofness detonated by bursts of shattering blissfulness, especially in the guises of the William’s, Byrne’s, Warburton’s and Hook’s of this world.

But still relieved to come away from Rome a flayed a dripping mess? Yes

England 17-9 France

The forwards on both sides should be given a medal and paraded through their home towns as heroes, because this was a good old fashioned game of biff.

England procured chunkier medals by way of a do or die mental aptitude. They stood up for what is fast becoming an armoury of sustainable adaptable-ability.

Eh!

Sgt. Wilko remarked the mindset reeked of echoes from 2003, not in style, as rugby has moved on since then, but ‘the building of spirit and togetherness’

If you’re a Southern hemisphere lad and have heard this all before, take heed and listen a little closer, because the whispers are ringing true; England are building into a team who are gathering it all.

Spunky running accompanied the biff, from both sides, as their more conventional penalty touch kicks were driven by a boot into space and harangue the fortunes. Those tell-tale signs of confidence are the unorthodox traits of a side bagging on mixing it.

Flood has turned the world’s heads. He was targeted along with his side kick Ashton, but that didn’t matter, because there was another plan – they went back to text and simply ran it straight hands down the line, avoiding the marauding wingers diversions.

All the while the defence held strong, the grunt got up time after time to get back at a very muscled, ‘battle worn’ French outfit, and the set pieces held up, the gaps were taken, the Youngs sniped a menacing prowl, if not slightly over used, and the second half was won by winning at all costs.

Foden made sure of that on the 42^nd minute, after ball was won by the pack shipped long to the man who sniffed the try line and trusted his speed and strength to get there, which as stood was the only try of the game.

‘The good thing is if you’re not playing well, you need to sort it out, and they did that.’ – Johnson

‘Pah’ - Lievremont

Scotland 18-21 Ireland.

Ireland must have thought they’d ran away with this one, until that was Scotland realised their nation actually watches them and does will them to do well.

Two soft tries through butter defence was Scotland’s wake up call. The first from a 5m lineout saw a catch and drive, with a wee recycle and Heaslip over without a hand laid on him, then from a 5m scrum Heaslip broke, had the ball smuggled from him by Reddan and he strolled over near the posts without a hand laid on him.

Scotland fought back in the last 25 minutes cutting the deficit from 21-9, following an equally easy try from O’Gara, to the final result.

But did they have the cutting edge to finish the job, considering all their possession? Did they fuck!

Scotland are perhaps the…no, no perhaps about it, they are the most disappointing team of the tournament following such a previous year’s achievements.

Super 15’s:

crazy fool’s Cats captain came good in Rebel-land with a 25-24 win over Brumbies, by slotting six of his seven kicks and a fine game to-boot. The Cip may have been in hot water over last week’s poor display amid accusations of pilfering a vodka bottle from a Sydney nightclub at 4.a.m. but in this game the lad done good. Gareth Delve showed some good defensive qualities. In a close game Mortlock received a long pass from Cooper V to run in the Rebel’s only try and Mitchell Chapman was binned after only ten minutes for trying to rip off Cip’s head – no guesses what his game plan was then…er yes, to rip off Cip’s head/ Highlanders saw off Chiefs 23-13 in Dunedin; their first win over them for 8 years/ Sharks beat Blues in Durban 26-12/ Tah’s bagged another zip-5-pointer against, beating the Reds 30-6 – Tatafu Polota-Nau proved his worth once again in this match/ Fourie du Preez’s late try earned Bulls a 25-23 win over Cheetah’s in Bloemfontein - Dannie Rossouw got the other/ Stormers pipped the Lions in Cape Town thanks to a 75^th minute try from Pieter Louw

LV=Cup: Not this week

Heineken Cup

The quarter’s in, ooh, April some time, are: Northampton play Ulster – Leinster v Leicester – Perpignan against Toulon and Biarritz versus Toulouse.

Aviva Premiership; Dunno

Magners: Dunno

Top 14: Ditto

fool says:

Some shorts:

*Toby Flood; real name: Tobias Gerald Albert Lieven Flood; descended from thespian Granddads who starred in Hopkins Deceased and The Guns of Navaronne – he just gets better – dun-‘e!

*Sheridan’s most likely out for a month with a dickie calf and France’s Meddard is back in their squad still clutching to JPR’s sidies – in fact let’s a video of the great man…

*On a Chhhhharity note mate, don’t like to talk about it… The Specific Barbarians are playing an Australian XV this weekend at London Welsh’s ground; Deer Park – also on the agenda is; an Aussie Rules match, Aussie beer tent and music, Int touch, Kids touch, Queensland v NSW and a Specific Village offering song dance and grub – all proceeds go to the Queensland flood and Christchurch earthquake appeal. If you want in or donate contact info@truesouthgroup.com or call 07501067603 or take a gander at www.facebook/pacificbaabaas.com

For the latest news ‘see’ crazy fool’s Radio Show – click on red icon, top left of home page.

Some competitions now: If you’d like to take part in fool’s rugby comps check out the comps & results page –win a prize! – I should probably check it myself, as I can’t remember what comps are up for grabs.

Send your team(s) to cf.crazyfool@gmail.com – argh yes, teams.

end rugby here!

Tapas & Bodega: bodega, oh baby when you dance like that… Sangria, mojito’s, plenty, plenty, plenty of wine and beer; Plus, The best Spanish cuisine in Saigon this side of Spain - Which is just to the right of Vietnam, and perhaps a little off centre of Phuket. Cracking live music too.

A willow the wisp of cricket now:

And now ladies and gentlemen a thribble on the light side:

It’s bubbling now

It weren’t, but it is now – not all over but just begun – no, not the Carpenters, but the excitement lad, the excitement – can’t you feel it?

Proteas gave it to the Windies good and proper with a 7 wicket haul up their AB de Villiers, despite his ton up on the scoreboard, which settled collectively on 223 all done – not enough.

The Aussies mirrored that scoreline over New Zealand, as Johnson took 4-33, Tait 3-35 and the Punts a penchant dislike for TV replays, combined with a geometric eye to dislodge pictures by throwing his box at the box via a rebound off his bag – or so he says.

But who cares because he was quite right in suggesting, ‘if our bowlers bowl as well as they can, it doesn’t matter who we play.’

Which of course is technically correct, just like Broad’s prediction that if they go through this tournament unbeaten, as is their aim then the trophy will be theirs, well broadly speaking yes, but to throw a spanner in the works - if they were to draw every game it doesn’t guarantee a win.

A fine effort led England to refute such accusations and defied the bookies favourites by snatching a draw from the jaws of victory and equalling India’s 338 to draw level.

Levi replied to the Sach’s 120 with a sole ‘drawing’ 158 and Bresnan made up for Jimmy’s worst ever bowling performance of 91 off 9.5 overs with a tidy 5fer.

Bell was happy with 69 then the rest of the team gave up winning and went for the draw as four wickets fell in 8 balls.

Geoff Boycott caused a scene at the entrance not because of the swing too/fro of fortunes on either side, but because security were more flavoursome to the notion his scotch eggs might be bombs.

‘I want to speak to the General or Brigadier, whoever’s in charge; ‘cause, I’m taking my bloody sandwiches in.’ came his Yorkshire twang.

Mishah-ul-Haq on a quieter Friday night slipped 83 passed a bewildered Sri Lanka as Pakistan edged the home side into touch by… something to something – and that’s reporting for you

On the meanwhilst, Lasith Malingerer chucked his 2^nd World Cup hat trick with a 6-38 display in their crushing of Kenya in Colombo.

Over the other side; The Irish have agreed to shave their hair then dye their heads in a bizarre order from the Shave and Dye cancer charity, which if England’s Steve Davies were playing could announce to the world his the way he got out; ‘I went out with a red-head… no hair, just a red head.’ (Hmmm, needs work)

Meanwhilster; the Windies put the sails up the Dutch by 215 runs, although Tommy Cooper did snatch a tidy 54* - just like that.

And the Zim’s knocked off Canada by 175 – nothing to report on Candy, Ackroyd or Myers.

I’m done

The team that likes roll mops and partying and belts and rum and temptations and feathers and Steve Finn and proverbs and coordinates and pigeons and tiddly winks and Jessie’s! And spin and the Beatles and Buddy Holly and side-show Bob and Ant and Dec and capes and japes and basketball and indoor cricket and psyche and a good rib-dig and loose ends and first balls and a good roasting, and triple tons and whoa-ha-ha’s and cooking and cradles and Yorkshire puddings…and 2010/11 Ashes, and the Gods

Till next week…

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