mrs wigglesworth
September, 07th 2011 20:03 PM

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The rugby bit:

Published 8.9.11

 

RWC 2011 New Zealand

 

Right, I’ve got 5 minutes to type this… back in a minute – gotta give booze t’ baby,’ ‘you can’t give baby booze!’ – ‘well, gotta give fag to’ baby then…’

 

With four years in the planning, I should be sharing the inside spiel with you right now and reasoning why the team I picked to win four years ago are going to win, but that scenario has gone out of the window with the bathwater… (gasp horror) phew there you are, here, have another bottle, so as it stands, I’ll let the public enthral you with their experiences in this and World Cup’s gone by, although, one thing I should inform you of, is that all 48 matches are being played in the Antarctica at Scott Base, if you happen to be passing.

 

I’ve still got a couple of minutes left, so let’s go to Mrs Wigglesworth who tells us how she once met David Sole after his Detective years;

 

Mrs Wigglesworth, ‘I’m sorry, I’ve got my knickers up my bottom.’ ‘Doesn’t matter, just tell us about David’, ‘Righty-ho, ooh, well, I was sat on the plane next to him  going to see my pet stick in New Zealand, back in ooer, 1897… no, no, 1987, and this big burley Scots fella lands next to me, following him were his team mates, followed by the Irish then the Welsh. Well, what a ball. We stopped at LA and picked up the Canadians and 36 hours later landed in Auckland. It was as David said, ‘There was no embargo on alcohol, which was almost an essential relaxant if you were to get some sleep in economy class. How times have changed in the modern era of team travel.’ – ‘Hmmm shame really, said Mrs W. as she reminisced.

 

Fact: the 100+ cap club going into this tournament are: B O’d – 113/ Ronan O’Gara – 111/ Victor Matfield – 107/ John Smit – 106/ Chris Paterson – 105/ Stephen Jones – 100.

 

And now over to Mr Green who once looked after Mrs Wigglesworth’s stick and now grows skunk in Otago Stadium, Dunedin, which is where fool will be focussing on this weekend’s BIG GAME.

 

 This is the first rugby indoor stadium with a fixed roof and real grass pitch. The hybrid natural grass is reinforced with artificial fibres every 2cm. But by crikey it is not the first of its kind in sport, as there are 450 such stadiums/ training grounds all over the world – so get off my page Mr Stick, whoever you are.

 

There are 12 brothers playing in this tournament – I’m not going to tell you them, as they maybe used for a question in A Question of Sport… Of Sorts! Live on www.radioindochine.com – 2-3p.m. or why not join us as part of the audience at The Lounge, Bang Tao Place, Cherntalay, Phuket.

 

The official RWC song is the World in Union – 400 buggers will sing it at the opening ceremony, as Mark Sneddon, CEO Tournament Organiser says, ‘The performance will sum up the cosmopolitan character for young nations with singers of Maori, Pakeha, Samoan, Fijian, Cook Island, Ninean, Tongan, Tokelauan, Australian, Chinese, Korean, English, Irish, Danish, American, Canadian, Dutch, South African and Indian descent.’ – Definitely no French!

 

 fool’s 5 minutes are up, so if you’d like to hear more tune into Radio Indochine 92.75fm on Saturday or get yourself down to The Lounge.

 

 

 

fool says:

England 22-7 Argentina

 

South Africa 19-18 Wales

 

ITM/ Currie Cup/ English Premiership and Magners are on hold till they stop playing every bloody day of the week and we get to somewhere near the finals!

 

Some shorts:

*Although half of Leicester’s squad are in New Zealand it was still a good win for the Exeter Chiefs at the Tiger’s ground – 30-28.

 

*Some names ticked off for the Baa Baa’s game against Australia at Twickenham on 26th November: Victor Matfield, The Cip, Jamie Roberts, Ryan Jones, Kevin Mealamu, Bakkies Botha, SBW and Stirling Mortlock – worth a ticket so far I’d reckon.

 

 

 

For the latest news ‘see’ crazy fool’s Radio Show – click on red icon, top left of home page.

 

Some competitions now: If you’d like to take part in fool’s rugby comps check out the comps & results page –win a prize! – I should probably check it myself, as I can’t remember what comps are up for grabs.

 

Send your team(s) to cf.crazyfool@gmail.com – argh yes, teams, that was it - teams.

 

end rugby here!

 

 

 

A willow the wisp of cricket now:

 


 

And now ladies and gentlemen a thribble on the light side:

 


 

Hot-diggedy-dog

Robbed by time as denoted in the rugby; fool can only inform KP hasn’t got a bad wrist and was dropped – if anyone else see’s it differently I’d like to hear.

 

Suffice to say Chester-le-Street was a washout, as India made 274-7 with Parthiv Patel raking 95 and England managed 29-2 before they turned on the hoses.

 

Re-grouped in Southampton’s Rose Bowl, England found their form with Cook dispelling his critics of the short form game with a sturdy 80* off 63 balls.

 

Rain effectively turned this into a T20 game by reducing it to 23 overs and England won by 7 wickets.

 

Over in Sril lanka-land, it would be pointless to tell you what I do know, so I will: Australia needed 5 wickets to take the first Test in Galle with The Srills on 120-5 on D3 – set 379 from the visitors.

 

Jayewardene set 57* and earlier Herath notched a five-fer with 5-79 but the rest as they say is beyond me.

 

In the snippets

*Sonya Thomas ate 183 chicken wings in 12 minutes whilst Takera Kobayashi hurled down 49 hot dogs in 10 minutes – this may have nothing to do with cricket, but I’ve got a quiz to write and somehow I think it may be relevant.

 

It’s early now and… - I’m done

 

The team that likes roll mops and partying and belts and rum and temptations and feathers and Steve Finn and proverbs and coordinates and pigeons and tiddly winks and Jessie’s! And spin and the Beatles and Buddy Holly and side-show Bob and Ant and Dec and capes and japes and basketball and indoor cricket and psyche and a good rib-dig and loose ends and first balls and a good roasting, and triple tons and whoa-ha-ha’s and cooking and cradles and Yorkshire puddings…and 2010/11 Ashes, and the Gods

 

Till next week…


 

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