Crazy Fool's Newsround

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August, 31st 2011 21:02 PM

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The rugby bit:

Published 1.9.11

Tri-Nations

Australia 25-20 New Zealand

If you thought four wheels were still on the Kiwis’ wagon, and they were still rolling along, with the ‘Cherokees after me, shooting spears passed my ears, but I’m singing this happy song’, then you’d be wrong, because at least one wheel has fallen off, and that happened before this game started.

Old ‘eyebrows’ delivered that blow when he jeered the Wallabies in the pre-match press conference, mockingly raking through their Tri Nations record, asking, ‘Have they ever lifted the trophy?’, to which Ben Alexander kept remarkably cool and pointed out that old Henry (65), ‘has been around a long time.’

If we need reminding, the Wallabies won it back-to-back in ‘00&’01, but if you’re naïve to believe that remark was just the fuel Australia needed to rally them, just like the ‘ape’ provocation on Harrison from Healy in the Lions back in 2001, you’re a bigger Muppet than I ever gave you credit for.

There is nothing so gay as the notion that a nation needs an excuse to lift their game, especially when all this one required was a twist of fine tuning to calm the Aussie nerves, not rattle them and with the other wrench to tighten the hold, on what looks, eventually, the way to take advantage on the supposedly invincible All Blacks by simply playing well against them, which quite obviously hasn’t happened for a while.

At 20-3 at half time I joined the game after helping the magnificent Saigon Dirty Geckos to triumph in Bangkok (Triumphant bowl winners in the British Club Old Boys Comp) then sat back and watched the Slick unfurl its slippery wont to chase the devil out of Brisbane and give the Aussies the shock of their lives in the second half.

The Predator scrambled over for the Blacks’, instigating an immediate comeback, and within 18 minutes the scores were level. But as much as the Blacks cracked on, the Wallabies seemed to be holding fast, well, long enough for the cavalry to arrive in the guise of Genia’s break and slip to Kurtly Beale for the winning try.

By all accounts Radike Samo laid on a 60 metre sprint to score in the first half and so did Genia, but that came from the mouth of an Australian on tour who was more drunk on surprise than booze, but what I can confirm is a they held on by the skin of their teeth, and if not a masterful display of defensive work, as was composed and confident enough to rally their win.

What it does prove however, is no team is the finished article yet and knock out rugby is unforgiving.

Oh, and of course James O’Connor must feel like an even bigger idiot now, for having to watch Australia lift the Tr- Nations trophy from the touchline.

As for the game – watch this…

Ireland 9-20 England

Let’s leave the TT’s for a minute and concentrate on where the Irish have gone wrong… exactly, I’m not sure either.

B O’D being their obvious talisman, left his void in this game to be shepherded by the very capable Earls, but that’s where the TT’s came in.

Tindall and Tuilaga, Johnno’s 13^th centre pairing in 35 Tests were on fire switching from 12 to 13 in attack and defence and beguiled by experience and raw power and speed they proved Ireland’s undoing in the backs.

Strength in depth in the pack reeled assurance stemming from a couple of last minute replacements; Haskell for Easter and Croft for Moody, saw fit to claim sufficient ball, although it took a while for it to come quickly.

The breakdowns will still be a telling point in both these sides, but tries from Tuilaga, off a Sgt. Wilko pop and Armitage from a Tindall grub were enough to warrant a healthy dominance that should make this world cup a spectacle to give bookies nightmares.

fool says:

As he did back in 2007 – England will win.

ITM and Currie Cup are on hold till they stop playing every bloody day of the week and we get to somewhere near the finals!

Some shorts:

*Neanderthal brow Johnno has welcomed wags and booze on tour and leaves it to the players discretion, stating they know the score if things go tits up so to speak. Nevertheless, he remembers his tour to New Zealand-land with the Lions 18 years ago, saying, ‘the boys had fun, but you have to be careful.’ – The Sergeant off Hill Street Blues would also give the same advice.

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end rugby here!

A willow the wisp of cricket now:

And now ladies and gentlemen a thribble on the light side:

To be sure

Eoin Morgan and the youngsters pelted the Irish in Dublin in their one-off ODI with 59 from Morgan and 69 for Trott.

Rain had the better of the day but England’s bowlers put away a poor Irish bat and won by 11 runs.

Ireland’s big wigs may have moaned about the 2^nd class shipment across the sea, holding 3 debutants, as they did, but the same likes in Ben Stokes 20, Alex Hales 22 and Jos Butler 20 will be up against India in the T20 this week again.

(late update) Jos’ Giants did beat India BTW, which I think in street slang means by the way, why we can’t just write that I don’t know, for example, which by the way is acceptably denoted as e.g. and is so acceptable because it’s Latin and no-one fucks with that… where was I? Yes, Morgan 49 off 27 balls, Jade ‘Tatts’ Derbach 4-22 – England by six wickets – stop talking about the next team to come along everyone else, so England can really prove its metal – this is now – lob it on the table and show the world.

In the snippets

*Quite unsure what Australia are doing at the moment; are they into their Tests yet against the Srills? I don’t know, neither does The Punts, nor it seems is he too bothered because he’s more than happy to be out of the Skippers cap and enjoying his cricket, ‘I’m just sitting back and waiting for the questions to be asked’, he said, which is pointless, because he no longer has to answer them

It’s early now and… - I’m done

The team that likes roll mops and partying and belts and rum and temptations and feathers and Steve Finn and proverbs and coordinates and pigeons and tiddly winks and Jessie’s! And spin and the Beatles and Buddy Holly and side-show Bob and Ant and Dec and capes and japes and basketball and indoor cricket and psyche and a good rib-dig and loose ends and first balls and a good roasting, and triple tons and whoa-ha-ha’s and cooking and cradles and Yorkshire puddings…and 2010/11 Ashes, and the Gods