Welcome to the bit about: The Saigon Gecko's winning the 9^th annual Indochine Cup.

It all happened right here - in our own back garden. And before I rant on unwontedly; have yourself a lowdown on the teams that took part;

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But first;

The Presidents message - please, be down standing! Thank you.

Your friendly landlord

Regards,

Chris Paget

SRFC President

But now folks, this is what it said in the programme:

The Saigon

The Saigon Gecko's continue to dominate Vietnam rugby. Now they're once again ready to dominate Indochine Rugby and return the cup to its home in Saigon. The Saigon Gecko's are a formidable side who draw their strengths from the knowledgeable fact that beer is thinner than blood, and will therefore fuel and circulate their heroic systems, thus prevailing in high performance results of an on paddock rugby courtship better than any blood pumping training shuttle run - unless its for beer of course - ‘quick, any more of that fuel left?' They now sit back waiting in Vietnam's mothership of fun and frivolity with a beady eye on this year's coveted trophy...and of course their blood levels. They are hell bent on festival rugby, crowd pleasing, but most of all winning back that trophy. They've been in training since...ahem...training will start this weekend, where they'll dust off their Adibas boots, ready for a weekend show down of japes and capers on and off the hallowed turf. It's a pleasure to be a part of The Indochine Cup fellow teams - good luck to everyone and sod the Buffalos!

This is how they faired:

They performed like true professionals of dexterity in the usage of brawn and brain and when it needed it; calm composure from the flaying French misdemeanors.

why wont no one play with me?

Their first outing was against the hastily prepared (The night before) Saigon Dirty Gecko's, who by their own overall performance, on and off the field, have warranted their own set of jerseys and play time - watch this space, these are gonna be big!

The Dirty's

However in this game the Gecko's ran ragged the Dirty's with précis ional flair in every department, routing them 40-5 = 6 tries to 1, which by the way was a fantastic 1; through many a festival crowd pleasing hand of forward and back, and even possibly the try of the tournament, as it swayed from the ruck on the right, through the centres , up mid-field, across to the left wing, powered on in a surge of determination, cut back inside to go up the furore, shuttled back over to the right corner then wrestled, gathered and eventually touched down by the timid Scot ‘Big' Al.

Big Al

Oh, yeah, and as said, the Gecko's were very good in every department in that game.

Of course Im appy

The Gecko's next outing was against Phnom Penh Pangolins - who have been somewhat of a bogey side recently, always a tough, solid and even game. The Pangolins went down in a massive shock (Very hungover still) to the Hanoi Dragon's earlier in the morning, and needed this game to make the final.

Hanoi Dragons

They came out hard; they had the Gecko's pinned down on their 22 for most of the first half. A couple of diabolical ref decisions fed the Pangolins penalty after penalty, which eventually bared fruit from their shy and retiring balding fella - Ralph - and was converted.

I can see the pub up here

The Gecko's came back stronger than ever - they were miffed, irked, galled and out of ‘fuel' to say the least. But as luck would have it, Kris had been directing the backline all day and as he weaved, slipped and slid - Steve Larkham style, by-pass the Pangolin defence, you might have thought he'd gone to far, but he managed to snap the short ball to a bursting and well timed Chef, who seemingly may have over ran, but nay, he clawed the ball from a behind position and sped through under the posts in what was undoubtedly the try of the tournament so far - only...only to be called back for a forward pass - you should have heard the ooh's and argh's, and ‘where's more fuel' - that was just from the Pangolins; who man for man agreed it was the perfect try!

The Gecko's battled on through the next half - Their pack producing some fine ball, their backs producing some fine goods, but only to be stoically defended by a very well drilled Pangolin side. 7-0 to the Pangolins. You had to take you hat off to those guys, I however didn't have a hat, so I didn't take it off - but if I had, I would have definitely thought about taking it off. I didn't get where I am today by...

How did I get here?

The final Pool game for the Gecko's was against their commie pig dog neighbours from the north - cghhhcgh spit tooooon! In what was always gong to be a brawl; for the Hanoinians know no different. They have, it has to be said a formidable front row and it did cause problems all day for all sides; the Geckos were no exception.

Who me?

But two quick tries from the Gecko backline, which were all but inevitable, as the different abilities in the sides was all too apparent - then, and naturally the Hanoinans turned to violence, through a few punches, attempting to break a hand or two in stamping and twisting and attacked a man from behind by running from a distance and kneeing him in the back - pure scum-like - nuff said on them, they give me the shits. Gecko's won 29-12 = 5 tries - 2.

A little side track here before we get to the final; as there was a huge effort needed by the Pangolins to get into the final. They needed a hefty try count against the Dirty's to make it. They nearly did it with 8 - but the resilient Dirty's held on, I'll say that again, the resilient Dirty's held on, if only due to the time wasting fact of retrieving the ball after conversions - Old and coy the Dirty's - old and coy! - Talking of old, the combined age of the Dirty's front row was 152! - Whereas I myself, the gifted handsome one is still in his Dirty thirty's.

Capt Dirty

Anyway, quote of that match was from indeed, the very gifted and handsome skipper's persistent call of ‘Don't take the ball into the tackle whatever you do' as he headed up field - taking the ball into the tackle, time after time - seeing stars! But that's another story. ‘Oh look, I found my tooth.'

But enough of the knockers and begrudgers - onto the final, and the Gecko's were not mucking about. In a piece of play I haven't seen since the likes of Jonny Wilkinson, Richie McCaw or George Smith, was the Rusty smash tackle from an instep off the right wing, win the ball, support came, and the Rusty fella was back on his feet, back in position on the wing receiving the ball and running in to score - all in about 6 seconds - superb, just superb. Definitely need a hat to take off for that one - thanks Tim for the hat, now I'll doff it.

Boing

The rest of the game was a formality - the Gecko's were better, faster, more disciplined and deserved winners - the final score 17-0. 3 tries to nil.

In the women's, Saigon also fielded two teams - the normal Boa's and the added Hoa's. However the Phnom Penh Apsara's were an exceptional outfit and pipped the Boa's in the final 5-0.

This is what one of the Boas (Biggles) captains had to say:

Indochine Cup Womens' Touch

The Apsaras from Phnomh Penh dominated the 2007 Indochine Cup.

The 'royal dancers' really showed the Saigon Boas and Hoas how to play. Solid, technical set pieces with minimal errors made it difficult for the girls from Saigon to get on the score board.

The Boas put up a strong showing in their first pool match against the classy Apsaras, only going down by a pair, but could not repeat their performance later on in the final. Cambodia winning the Cup by a fair few to donut...

The (touch) match of the day, however, had to be the game between the Boas and Hoas. The Hoas - proved they are definitely no wallflowers and showed lots of determination and good team work to hold out the Boas on several occasions and get on the score board.  The Hoas sartorial splendour (especially the outfit Thuy was sporting) was a sight to behold but it was not enough in the end. The Boas managed to prevail with speedster Jane hitting holes and going over on a few occasions to ensure a Boa victory.

Err, before the rest of the teams, a special mention must go to Tim Smythe from Phnom Penh, who after years of us asking is finally leaving the comp and buggerring off somewhere new to annoy the shitesterness out of them - thanks mate.

And now; The rest of the teams:

The Dirty Gecko's

Entering their first ever tournament, nay, their first ever game The Dirty Gecko's have been carefully refined from misfits, has-been's, never were and, what's that? Pass the mustard! The Saigon Dirty Gecko's, formed out of the UK, France-land, Spain, N.Z. Vietnam and Japan are the team no one wants, no one cares about, no-one speaks of. They are taboo, they are the pestilence of wrath, the throw backs of peace and harmony - they are; the Dogs of War - and if you give them a biscuit they'll roll over and let you scratch their tummy's! Not since a chicken Colonel came to town has Saigon seen two sides chomp at the bit for supremacy. These, Dirty Gecko's will be holding onto their hats, false teeth and Zimmer frames in a bid to make it to, ooh, at least lunchtime, in this the most prestigious of tournaments in their history! Go the Dirty Gecko's - just please, go!

The Saigon Boa's

Slippery in attack, the girls are back.  Gunning for the cup, the Boas won't give up.

Sliding through gaps, pulling off lots of wraps.  There'll be some switches, but I promise we're not...what rhymes with switches???

Like snakes in the grass, we'll bite you on the arse, if you don't run fast, you might come last.................................... or not get past ...or break your leg and end up in a cast ... or be left like a boat without a mast......................

The Saigon Hoas

Don't be deceived by the name - these girls are no shrinking violets. Watch these Hoas bloom on the field... no chance of them wilting in the heat. The Saigon Hoas are funneled along the same lines as the Dirty Gecko's, but wear far sexier shorts. Their antics on and off the field have mirrored, if not by-passed the lad's efforts ever since Emily Pankhurst tied herself to Boadecia in 18 O'Chocolate. The Hoas pride themselves on Dandelion wine legs, rose-tinted eyesight and perfumed farts. It's their first outing, just like the Dirty's, in, well, in rugby and they've promised to try really, really, really hard. Good luck to all the gals' teams.

See the Gecko's next in action in the Phuket 10's on the weekend of 26^th & 27^th May - that gifted and very handsome Dirty's skipper will be there reporting and no doubt dazzling the crowd with his speed, hit-ups and confined physique.