The 2058 State of the Nation Address by the Honorable Victor Bitter Jr., President of the Republic of Australia.

The highlight of the previous 12 months for both myself, the Congress and the people of Australia has been the elimination of the Trans-Tasman agreement and the formal handing over of New Zealand to this great nation of ours. To the people of Far East New South Bitter a further warm welcome to our country.

To the people formerly of Tuvalu, Tonga and the Soloman Islands we welcome you as the new Tasmanians a place where for the last 50 years has seen you all start a new beginning in spite of the fact that your nations were not swallowed up by the ocean as a result of the now discredited global warming scare.

Since my fathers reign from 2012 and until now our population has grown to 28 million and while we continue to embrace migrants to our country we have mostly seen our population increase through a natural increase. In 2010 business leaders lobbied the late Victor Bitter Snr. to increase our population to 50 million by 2060 but we could not sustain this amount of people although we have increased our arable land from 6% to 10% thanks to the efforts of al those people relocating from Brisbane. Our thanks must also go to the Honorable Minister for Agriculture, Mr. Nguyen Hanh Phuc, for his tireless efforts in increasing long grain rice production in northern Bitterland. A bowl of rice and three veg is what keeps our labour force in fine fettle.

Again it has been a great year for all Australian in sport. Young Vikram Ponting, our countries cricket captain proved an inspiration for all young sportsmen when we all saw him humbly accept the one day international World Cup for the 15^th consecutive time. He also collected the 20/20, 10/10 and 4/4 World Cups for our proud nation. The International Australian Rules League continues to dominate global vicnet discussions. Who would have thought years ago that 98% of all communications would be performed using a ring pull from a VB can and by leaving the ring pull on the can that holographic images of the newspapers from around the universe could be seen. But in the football we must not be greedy and the plans by the Northern Bitter team to plunder the ranks of the newly formed Martian League must be seriously looked at.

To our Minister of Meteorology, Mr. Bruce Hussain, congratulations on your fine address at the recent G45 summit detailing the hysteria caused by the fanatical global freezing zealots.

Again, Australia was the leading nation in working with the government of Japan in the ever increasing concerns regarding whale over population. Australian and Japan have worked tirelessly since 2012 on this program when Australian people realised that our great friends in Japan were actually experimenting on ways to sustain the population. Moreover, Australia today continues to be the leader in the Save the Plankton campaign, a campaign that was one of my fathers great loves.

Our push into other regions of the world continues and only this year we have seen the renaming of New England to New Australia, Missouri to Ms.ouri and Illinois to Finethanks. Our integration into the United States of North America continues to flourish and the companionship we share with the President Of the USNA, Mr. Pierre Blanc of Quebec is a fine one indeed.

Australia continues to lead the way in medical break throughs and the Minister for Health for our great country, Dr. Haneef Mohammed and his learned colleague from the Conglomeration of Australia Surgeons, Mr. Paradorn Patcharapa has again come up with a dream turned to reality in the field of sexual relations. For too long now the messy form of copulation to reproduce has caused problems in our society. With the average weight of an Australian she person at a staggering 216.75 kg men have grown tired of the thrill of the chase. Our great surgeons have, after years of research and experimentation, have finally been able to transplant the penis into the ring finger of our males and to implant the she persons messy bits into her elbow. Now we can procreate while waiting at the time machine stop.

These surgeons and the Minister for Health together with the Minister for Entertainment, Mr. Vic Diddy, through their “Fountain of Youth” policy have allowed great entertainers careers to flourish for eternity. After this address today tune your ring pull receiver into the Celebrate 2058 concert that will feature John Farnham and Kylie Minogue still sounding great after all these years. Of course one of the Daddo’s will be hosting this event and I am not sure which one. And in other entertainment news Underbelly will finally be shown on Melbourne ring pull TV.

Our Minister for Wildlife Ms. Bindie Irwin continues to garner respect universe wide with her Terra Australia Jurassic Park in Alice Springs. And crikey, with all the breakthroughs in cloning it is a pleasure to see Steve back hosting the T-Rex feeding sessions.

Australia’s ability to become a top film and television producer of ring top entertainment has seen Strine being heard all over the world. Only the other day the Vice President of the USNA Ms. Hillary Obama commented to me that, Vic, tis airsply fairbillis that awls nunder 900 ab arrel. Yeah, bewful, breeyent, dimention usin’ betchries.

Our Minister for Religion, the Right Reverend Bijalbinu Kang Kang Sri Wetan has united all with his My Way or the Highway (to hell) policy. Sharia law has not come to Australia and will not do so and the freedom of religion will continue but without the fancy outfits. No burkhas, gherkas or jerkers will be tolerated.

And in conclusion I would like to say that in 2058, Australia is in the top ten economies in the universe, has maintained an unemployment rate of 4.44% (some lazy bludgers will never work), has a system in place where the state and the people share responsibility for the aged (those over the retirement age of 80) and is tolerant of all races and creeds.

We are per capita leaders in health, entertainment and sport and can always be called upon to diplomatically settle disputes.

I am, you are, we are Australia.

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