Crazy Fool's Newsround - static sticky stuff

static sticky stuff
June, 23rd 2010 15:03 PM

Dr. Phil Ology’s word of the week:

“Words, don’t come easy to me, how can I find the way to make you love me, oh words, they don’t come easy…”

Saigon Rock Fan Club followed by the Blues Brothers – 9^th July @Hi-Fi

In cahoots

This American expression meaning to be in partnership or in league with someone developed from the French word for a small hut, cahute. Presumably living with someone in confined surroundings required a high degree of partnership and close co-operation

Things that are really getting on my nose, up my goat and around my wick this week:

Static sticky stuff – It’s almost always when you’re in a rush and the last thing you need whilst making haste. I thought I’d be on time for work the other day and planned a quick smoke to calm me down. But as we all know plans are made for grandmother’s Christmas shopping in June and Hitler.

So, with 15 minutes to pack up a sentence on the electric typewriting machine thing, get dressed, peel three spuds, lock up the house get to the shop to buy some fags, have a quick drag in the car (don’t tell the missus), and park outside the car park gates because the car park is always full, then dash to the LZ by 3.30 precisely; things were going like an orange clock work.

The typewriting machine whizzed off my parting scribble, then froze, I put my foot through the arse of my shorts and tore them up to my thigh, ‘Spuds, spuds, why the fuck am I peeling spuds?’, Locked up the back door and forgot phone, opened back door and got phone, locked up back door and forgot different shorts on washing line outside, opened back door and got shorts, locked front door behind me, forgot bag, forgot to lock back door, keys…keys. Left on table in kitchen, got keys, locked up, got in car, 6 minutes to go, got to shop, bought fags, got out of rain, into car, three minutes to go, opened packet and the fucking static sticky cellophane tape that runs around the soft top pack stuck to fingers, so can’t get a grip on the fag to wretch it from its mooring, fucking cellophane wrapping the last hurdle between me and 60mph fag choking journey to be on time and the sodding sticky static cellophane wrapping has my fingers dislocated with a torn up box of smokes all over the car, which I have to clean up or she’ll know… she know god damn it.

Got to job with 30 seconds left on the clock, smoked a small butt, but could have been a comfort drag if it weren’t for that last plastic piece of static sticky piece of shit - Bastards!

Things that are just Sweet Love:

Can we go back to hats? – Good; a paper hat – can be cockney rhyming slang, can be…many ellipses…

A viewer’s favourite haystacks from Bosnia – has finished – this week we are going to look at this:

No…busy…ellipses

Let’s look at rocks:

Ditto…ellipses

Ok, what else is on in cfnr this week?

See; Categories for all that’s on offer, in the meantime fool recommends these:

*cf'’s radio show featuring Digger:

Playing NOW the one with:

Snoop Dig

Plus all the ‘oldies’: Randall, Adam & Valerie, Olda Higden, One Eyed Dog, Risky Red, the long forgotten Christmas show and its Typewriting September predecessor, - new one coming soon - look out for the fish!

*Tit-bits – .../… …/……/…/…/…

*Grub–Up – * New- New – new – NEW! – Brand new menu in crazy fool’s kitchen/café – see poetry corner – nuff said

*Poetry Corner: ‘Ode to a crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pie’

*NEW...Fishman...NEW...Fishman! – Read all the Fishman’s tails in… On The Pond, April ‘09’ – On the shelves now - may The Dog be with you

*Classifieds

*Comps and results

*Bongo Massif Bro’s – ‘…rounding up the heard now…’

Mr. Meaner... come take a trip on the wonder why, come take a slice of my pie -

*crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pies – available; only from the Blue Gecko

Packed with lumps and bits and things that went baa and bleat – and other things that didn’t say anything, like the potatoes – lazy gits! They’re wind free too (almost)

Buy six pies and get a free T-shirt; see the full fool’s T-shirt ‘menu’ and choose your shirt!

Plus; every T-shirt sold - $1.00 goes to charity