Crazy Fool's Newsround - slippery belts

slippery belts
October, 13th 2010 23:47 PM

FRaS

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Dr. Phil Ology’s word of the week:

“Words, don’t come easy to me, how can I find the way to make you love me, oh words, they don’t come easy…”

KICKING the bucket

This euphemism for dying originated in the traditional practise of killing a pig for winter. The wooden frame from which the pig’s carcass was suspended by the ankles is known in East Anglia as a, ‘bucket’, from the French word buquet for a beam.

Educated Puns

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

Letters:

The making of a geezer;

‘I can’t eat all these chips.’ – POOF

‘It’s a bit nippy out here in it’ – POOF

‘You’re having another! Your wife’s gonna kill yer’ – POOF

‘Care!’ – GEEZER

‘I changed a car tyre in the rain today’ - Geezer

Things that are really getting on my nose, up my goat and around my wick this week:

Slippery belts – I have one belt and six pairs of shorts, three of which are upholstered with belt hoops, the others are to run around in and paint bits of wood in and prove that I do have legs, but all, if need be, are proficient in the art of harnessing the common belt in position, except one.

For some reason the khaki shorts buckle under an invisible strain thus rendering alignment somewhat skew-whiff and shift several paces to the right, meaning every time a leak is necessary the whole contraption has to be yanked back to the starters blocks in order to sustain, not only comfort ability but also the haute couture appearance of a man about the world and not an idiot who dons his shorts sideways.

No matter how many times this procedure is endured throughout the day, an almost magnetic force adjusts conformity to a jaunty angle and the pockets dangle lewdly and the front.

If anyone else has this problem, please share any advice to rectify it. I’ve tried nails, staples and gaffer tape. Slippery belts. - Bastards!

Things that are just Sweet Love:

Eating chicken in panna leaves till your guts burst

A viewer’s favourite haystacks from Bosnia – has finished – this week we are going to look at this:

Let’s look at fart:

Ok, what else is on in cfnr this week?

See; Categories for all that’s on offer, in the meantime fool recommends these:

*cf'’s radio show featuring Digger:

Playing NOW the one with:

Snoop Dig

Plus all the ‘oldies’: Randall, Adam & Valerie, Olda Higden, One Eyed Dog, Risky Red, the long forgotten Christmas show and its Typewriting September predecessor, - new one coming soon - look out for the fish!

*Tit-bits – .../…longest password…/……/…/…/…

*Grub–Up – * New- New – new – NEW! – Brand new menu in crazy fool’s kitchen/café – see poetry corner – nuff said

*Poetry Corner: ‘Ode to a crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pie’

*NEW...Fishman...NEW...Fishman! – Read all the Fishman’s tails in… On The Pond, April ‘09’ – On the shelves now - may The Dog be with you

*Classifieds

*Comps and results

*Bongo Massif Bro’s – ‘…just a matter of time…’

Mr. Meaner... come take a trip on the wonder why, come take a slice of my pie -

*crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pies – available; only from…coming back soon

Packed with lumps and bits and things that went baa and bleat – and other things that didn’t say anything, like the potatoes – pure laziness! They’re wind free too (almost)

Buy six pies and get a free T-shirt; see the full fool’s T-shirt ‘menu’ and choose your shirt!

Plus; every T-shirt sold - $1.00 goes to charity