Crazy Fool's Newsround

pork pies
June, 09th 2010 15:40 PM

Dr. Phil Ology’s word of the week:

“Words, don’t come easy to me, how can I find the way to make you love me, oh words, they don’t come easy…”

The word is we have no word, but we do have this from the Doc…He’s busy with Saigon’s Rock Fan Club, which if you don’t know is a gig comprised of Saigon’s local (Vietnamese) rockers performing to thousands – next one 9^th July at HiFi - check it out if your there, followed by the Blues Brothers.

In the meantime fool will fill you in on a word/ phrase; this week, in keeping with the World Cup, the phrase is;

Back to Square One

In the days when football matches were first broadcast, radio programmes printed pitch diagrams divided into numbered squares. Commentators referred to these squares to help listeners follow the course of the game. To go ‘back to square one’ is to return to where one started.

Letters:

Greetings Fool

Yes indeed, third track is a gem from the boy Ifield and a long time favourite of mine. I once worked with an aging hippy woman with terribly arthritic toes - Frank Ifield was her pin up. - Got any Karl Denver?

The Love Train video the other week was something that words just cannot do justice to.

On a different tangent, I read recently of a painting in the Louvre depicting two naked women of the French Aristocracy, with one plugging the other's fundament with her finger. Have searched in vain to find this picture but no joy - any ideas?

Yours truly,

Mr. Troi Oi

Dear Mr. Troi Oi – I think I will have to pass this over to the readers – are there any out there…? It’s hard for them to admit it you know.

Things that are really getting on my nose, up my goat and around my wick this week:

Pork pies – not the nutritious crusty filled parcels of dead pig and jelly but the titfer perched on ye head-like. I’m all for hats and it’s great to see they’re making a comeback. But the old favourite of the pork pie has become somewhat synonymous with arseholes in the media world.

The black straw type especially is causing me to straddle to up to folk in the street and ask if they think it does justice to either Eric Morecombe or that bloke out of Only Fool’s and Horses.

Hats, in all their glory, should be welcomed but for all the variations the fads are brimming with conformatism. The baseball cap is a classic example, where by their multifarious styles all abide to the same modus operandi, vis-à-vis - practicality. So when a trend beckons for the individual slant the whole world and his wife opt for the same black straw image.

There are a million hats out there, of which I am most certainly not going to name, and under each should be a personality. Where once the humble pork pie steered an almost nefarious bolt from the more stoic bowler, as depicted by any ‘60’s pub-land gang, although it has to be said both A Clockwork Orange and Robert Redford in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid did wonders for the city image, not one of today’s porky wearer’s suggest a unique, yet alone kicky quality.

Hats are for the individual and I put it to you the reader, yes that’s you, yep, only you, I put it to you to send in a hat that matches a personality and I bet not one will say pork pie – dude. Pork pies - Bastards!

Things that are just Sweet Love:

A magical Fez.

A viewer’s favourite haystacks from Bosnia – has finished – this week we are going to look at this:

Let’s look at rocks:

Ok, what else is on in cfnr this week?

See; Categories for all that’s on offer, in the meantime fool recommends these:

*Digger; says the archives of games gone by is all you’re gonna get

*Trigger: chasing his brother

*cf'’s radio show featuring Digger:

Playing NOW the one with:

Snoop Dig

Plus all the ‘oldies’: Randall, Adam & Valerie, Olda Higden, One Eyed Dog, Risky Red, the long forgotten Christmas show and its Typewriting September predecessor, - new one coming soon - look out for the fish!

*Tit-bits – .../…A woman was on a…/……/…/…/…

*Grub–Up – * New- New – new – NEW! – Brand new menu in crazy fool’s kitchen/café – see poetry corner – nuff said

*Poetry Corner: ‘Ode to a crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pie’

*NEW...Fishman...NEW...Fishman! – Read all the Fishman’s tails in… On The Pond, April ‘09’ – On the shelves now - may The Dog be with you

*Classifieds

*Comps and results

*Bongo Massif Bro’s – ‘…yeah, there for Loretofest…’

Mr. Meaner... come take a trip on the wonder why, come take a slice of my pie -

*crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pies – available; only from the Blue Gecko

Packed with lumps and bits and things that went baa and bleat – and other things that didn’t say anything, like the potatoes – lazy gits! They’re wind free too (almost)

Buy six pies and get a free T-shirt; see the full fool’s T-shirt ‘menu’ and choose your shirt!

Plus; every T-shirt sold - $1.00 goes to charity