Crazy Fool's Newsround

lids
October, 20th 2010 22:10 PM

FRaS

Is brought to you by

Dr. Phil Ology’s word of the week:

“Words, don’t come easy to me, how can I find the way to make you love me, oh words, they don’t come easy…”

JUNK

Although we use junk today to describe almost anything that has served its purpose and is no longer wanted, it was first coined by early seafarers to describe old rope. The word ‘junk’ probably comes from the Latin word juncas, meaning a ‘rush’ from which early ropes were made.

Educated Puns

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre read, ‘Keep off the Grass’.

Letters:

The making of a geezer;

‘I can’t eat all these chips.’ – POOF

‘It’s a bit nippy out here in it’ – POOF

‘You’re having another! Your wife’s gonna kill yer’ – POOF

‘Care!’ – GEEZER

‘I changed a car tyre in the rain today’ - Geezer

Things that are really getting on my nose, up my goat and around my wick this week:

Lids – making haste without too much speed is never the soothing cocktail laced with tidy results, as a quick splash of painting proved in between scribblings…well, it would have been if not for the sodding Fort Knox secured lid on a tin of undercoat that took nigh on 15 minutes to prize open with a screw driver, pliers, spit and a barrage of sweaty expletives. The turps bottle was worse, not to mention getting cable ties from the local Chinese man’s hardware shop when you ask for turpentine – turpentine/ cable ties easy mistake I suppose, nevertheless four candles from Ronnie Barker would have been easier, or learning Chinese…na. Needless to say the bottle was purchased and no wonder it was so bloody cheap, you couldn’t get into the bastard thing. It had a rip seal, but the cheap bastard bottle top factory cutting machine thing never actually made the initial cut that, so teeth wrapped around the bizarrely designated beer bottle I eventually ripped open the turps, thinned the paint, sweated like a madman in the sun, and painted a piece of wood which took five minutes then put it all away again to start a-fresh later when more time prevails – paragraphs – bollocks – lids - Bastards!

Things that are just Sweet Love:

The toxic waft of oil based paints.

A viewer’s favourite haystacks from Bosnia – has finished – this week we are going to look at this:

Let’s look at fart:

Ok, what else is on in cfnr this week?

*cf'’s radio show featuring Digger:

Playing NOW the one with:

Snoop Dig

Plus all the ‘oldies’: Randall, Adam & Valerie, Olda Higden, One Eyed Dog, Risky Red, the long forgotten Christmas show and its Typewriting September predecessor, - new one coming soon - look out for the fish!

*Tit-bits – .../…I get on…/……/…/…/…

*Grub–Up – * New- New – new – NEW! – Brand new menu in crazy fool’s kitchen/café – see poetry corner – nuff said

*Poetry Corner: ‘Ode to a crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pie’

*NEW...Fishman...NEW...Fishman! – Read all the Fishman’s tails in… On The Pond, April ‘09’ – On the shelves now - may The Dog be with you

*Classifieds

*Comps and results

*Bongo Massif Bro’s – ‘…tick-tock…’

Mr. Meaner... come take a trip on the wonder why, come take a slice of my pie -

*crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pies – available; only from…coming back soon

Packed with lumps and bits and things that went baa and bleat – and other things that didn’t say anything, like the potatoes – pure laziness! They’re wind free too (almost)

Buy six pies and get a free T-shirt; see the full fool’s T-shirt ‘menu’ and choose your shirt!

Plus; every T-shirt sold - $1.00 goes to charity