Crazy Fool's Newsround - getting off the toilet

getting off the toilet
September, 29th 2010 23:52 PM

FRaS

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Dr. Phil Ology’s word of the week:

“Words, don’t come easy to me, how can I find the way to make you love me, oh words, they don’t come easy…”

BEARING THE PALM

To ‘bear the palm’ is to be the best, because in ancient Rome it was customary for victorious gladiators to be given a branch from a palm-tree as a symbol of their success.

Educated Puns

In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

Letters:

The making of a geezer;

‘I can’t eat all these chips.’ – POOF

‘It’s a bit nippy out here in it’ – POOF

‘You’re having another! Your wife’s gonna kill yer’ – POOF

‘Care!’ – GEEZER

‘I changed a car tyre in the rain today’ - Geezer

Things that are really getting on my nose, up my goat and around my wick this week:

Getting up from the toilet – Not that the labour of love is such an arduous task of petrifying effort, but one that requires stealth and precision timing, if, that is, I am to attain the perfect dismount.

The ‘office’ is a place to ponder, remunerate the day’s activities so far and contemplate the world’s idiosyncrasies in a foul bout of emancipating a back-log of particular issues.

Once finished I like to exit without, and it’s always the left leg that causes this particular irk, as I lead with the right, and try not to let the moist air suction-cap a clammy hamstring on the seat, thus causing the seat to momentarily stick and flip back down with a bang. Very rarely is this achieved despite a concerted effort. Getting up from the toilet - Bastards!

Things that are just Sweet Love:

Working liver.

A viewer’s favourite haystacks from Bosnia – has finished – this week we are going to look at this:

Let’s look at fart:

Ok, what else is on in cfnr this week?

See; Categories for all that’s on offer, in the meantime fool recommends these:

*cf'’s radio show featuring Digger:

Playing NOW the one with:

Snoop Dig

Plus all the ‘oldies’: Randall, Adam & Valerie, Olda Higden, One Eyed Dog, Risky Red, the long forgotten Christmas show and its Typewriting September predecessor, - new one coming soon - look out for the fish!

*Tit-bits – .../…cake or bed…/……/…/…/…

*Grub–Up – * New- New – new – NEW! – Brand new menu in crazy fool’s kitchen/café – see poetry corner – nuff said

*Poetry Corner: ‘Ode to a crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pie’

*NEW...Fishman...NEW...Fishman! – Read all the Fishman’s tails in… On The Pond, April ‘09’ – On the shelves now - may The Dog be with you

*Classifieds

*Comps and results

*Bongo Massif Bro’s – ‘…yep, there soon…’

Mr. Meaner... come take a trip on the wonder why, come take a slice of my pie -

*crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pies – available; only from…coming back soon

Packed with lumps and bits and things that went baa and bleat – and other things that didn’t say anything, like the potatoes – pure laziness! They’re wind free too (almost)

Buy six pies and get a free T-shirt; see the full fool’s T-shirt ‘menu’ and choose your shirt!

Plus; every T-shirt sold - $1.00 goes to charity