Crazy Fool's Newsround - bookshops and dogs panting

bookshops and dogs panting
July, 14th 2010 22:09 PM

Dr. Phil Ology’s word of the week:

“Words, don’t come easy to me, how can I find the way to make you love me, oh words, they don’t come easy…”

Educated Puns

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

Letters: a conversation fool had with Mr. Troi Oi recently:

MTO: Wow - never heard the Elvis shrimp song before - classic bongo rifts, but is he trying to do some kind of Jamaican calypso type accent in the later verses? Have you heard his version of old McDonald had a farm? It’s on you-tube if you haven't.

Interesting expression "joining the golliwog in the sky". Never heard that either - is it Essex dialect?

f: Elvis does McDonald - blimey, has to be a must.

I think the golliwog phrase stems from Billy Fury's 1961 hit, 'Half Way to Paradise'

MTO: Troi oi Fool - you've done me like a kipper and no mistaking.

I listened to the whole of Halfway to Paradise and even looked up the lyrics and no mention of golliwogs in the sky.

You'll be telling me next it was from Isla St Clair's Motorhead tribute album.

By the way - I have grown a beard...well goatee cos I can't manage a full one. The grappler hates it but I quite like the feeling of liberation facial hair brings. It also makes me look like a pervert which is an added bonus.

f: Mr Troi Oi,

The great 'golliwog in the sky' was, as we know, a metaphorical link to all that is quaint essentially English, i.e. Jam (Robinson's) and Lady Di.

For fool to goad it's etymological state deriving from say, 'an Essex dialect' as you guessed, would only perpetuate some kind of mythical origin from Billy Fury's classic, 'Halfway to Paradise', but alas that would be too good to be true, therefore it is but a further emblematic symbol figure of her (Lady Di's) state of being or going, depending on how you look at it.

As for Isla St Clair's Motorhead tribute fool has not heard of it, but does recall her evening with Black Sabbath on her rare Slash and Burn album.

Keep the beard - they're for men... and bearded ladies

keep it wheel

MTO: What the F........????????

f: ex-Zachary

Things that are really getting on my nose, up my goat and around my wick this week:

Bookshops and dogs panting – I’ll leave it at that, because, alas I’ve run out of time this week, but I think you get my drift…No, just hold on a mutt’s slurp, I’ve got five minutes and the clock starts here:

I went to a bookshop yesterday in search of The Junior Officer’s Reading Club by Patrick Hennessey, General Sir Mike Jackson’s Soldier, Patrick O’Brien’s Back at the Mizzen, Gabriel Gneiss Marquez’ Living to Tell the Tale, Bernard Cornwell’s Sharpe’s Tiger and What The Dog Saw and other adventures by Malcolm Gladwell and as it blew a gale outside bucketing with lashings of northern British rain the ceiling fell in blocking all access to the fiction section that I came out with Jack Dee’s Thanks For Nothing.

About to write up this gouty rant the dog, we are for some reason looking after, went mad, as it has some kind of weird washing basket idée fixe and short of ramming home it’s intentions on the lady of the house as she hung out the clothes in the pouring rain, the mutt in question had to be locked inside with me whereupon it panted like some perverse plastic basket weaving mongrel on heat, to the point where I nearly shot it.

Consoled with the perpetuity of solace found in old classics such as Tom Sharpe’s Porterhouse Blue I shaded any bookworm-ish virtues in the comfort of Sir Cathcart’s wise words which shoulder pangs of wistfulness of academia along equal treading of that such as sporting prowess, yet both stoop so shallow in the pinnacles of scholastic knowledge that, and I quote, ‘that can only be found between the legs of a good woman’. – Bookshops and dogs panting - Bastards!

Things that are just Sweet Love:

Satisfaction.

A viewer’s favourite haystacks from Bosnia – has finished – this week we are going to look at this:

Let’s look at rocks:

Ok, what else is on in cfnr this week?

See; Categories for all that’s on offer, in the meantime fool recommends these:

*cf'’s radio show featuring Digger:

Playing NOW the one with:

Snoop Dig

Plus all the ‘oldies’: Randall, Adam & Valerie, Olda Higden, One Eyed Dog, Risky Red, the long forgotten Christmas show and its Typewriting September predecessor, - new one coming soon - look out for the fish!

*Tit-bits – .../…when love…/……/…/…/…

*Grub–Up – * New- New – new – NEW! – Brand new menu in crazy fool’s kitchen/café – see poetry corner – nuff said

*Poetry Corner: ‘Ode to a crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pie’

*NEW...Fishman...NEW...Fishman! – Read all the Fishman’s tails in… On The Pond, April ‘09’ – On the shelves now - may The Dog be with you

*Classifieds

*Comps and results

*Bongo Massif Bro’s – ‘…just changing my socks…’

Mr. Meaner... come take a trip on the wonder why, come take a slice of my pie -

*crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pies – available; only from the Blue Gecko

Packed with lumps and bits and things that went baa and bleat – and other things that didn’t say anything, like the potatoes – lazy gits! They’re wind free too (almost)

Buy six pies and get a free T-shirt; see the full fool’s T-shirt ‘menu’ and choose your shirt!

Plus; every T-shirt sold - $1.00 goes to charity