Crazy Fool's Newsround - automatic doors

automatic doors
September, 15th 2010 23:39 PM

FRaS

Dr. Phil Ology’s word of the week:

“Words, don’t come easy to me, how can I find the way to make you love me, oh words, they don’t come easy…”

PUNDIT

‘Pundit’ is another word brought back from India where a pandit is a Hindu scholar, well versed in Sanskrit, the law and ancient scriptures. In English the word has been adopted with a slightly modified spelling and applies to an ‘expert’ in a particular field of scholarship

Educated Puns

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is a now a seasoned veteran

Letters:

The making of a geezer;

‘I can’t eat all these chips.’ – POOF

‘It’s a bit nippy out here in it’ – POOF

‘You’re having another! Your wife’s gonna kill yer’ – POOF

‘Care!’ – GEEZER

‘I changed a car tyre in the rain today’ - Geezer

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Things that are really getting on my nose, up my goat and around my wick this week:

Automatic doors – not just any automatic doors, for instance ejector seats are cool. But, automatic doors in supermarkets, especially the ones that possess a lack censor and only open when two inches in front of your face.

On my new health kick I cycle the 200metres to my local, and dare I say new and indeed very handy supermarket, everyday for fresh veggies and smokes. And after the enzymes or endorphins or whatever they are called coagulate, disperse, run around for a bit then completely explode I’m like a badger on speed and bound into the shop full steam ahead…a-ha, I know what you’re thinking, but it hasn’t caught me out yet, no, see, too hyped up see, all the senses working, charged, aware, I could spot a mouldy carrot at 15 paces. But it’s the break in the chain, the stagger, the surge of adrenalin has been tampered with and the moment is lost.

It’s then a question of buying something that I think is parsley but not really sure, as I’ve only used it out of a jar, which the missus says are just twigs anyway, and I do know what parsley looks like but in south east Asia there’s green plants grown on the side of the road that get stuffed into bags with a bar code a-plenty. I once had soup in a school I worked at in Vietnam and spooned out a frog – I shit you not.

Anyway, I wanted to talk about bags, bread bags, but it’s too late, so let’s leave it with automatic doors - Bastards!

Things that are just Sweet Love:

Changing a tyre in the rain – manly stuff

A viewer’s favourite haystacks from Bosnia – has finished – this week we are going to look at this:

Let’s look at fart:

Ok, what else is on in cfnr this week?

See; Categories for all that’s on offer, in the meantime fool recommends these:

*cf'’s radio show featuring Digger:

Playing NOW the one with:

Snoop Dig

Plus all the ‘oldies’: Randall, Adam & Valerie, Olda Higden, One Eyed Dog, Risky Red, the long forgotten Christmas show and its Typewriting September predecessor, - new one coming soon - look out for the fish!

*Tit-bits – .../…Ralph and Josie…/……/…/…/…

*Grub–Up – * New- New – new – NEW! – Brand new menu in crazy fool’s kitchen/café – see poetry corner – nuff said

*Poetry Corner: ‘Ode to a crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pie’

*NEW...Fishman...NEW...Fishman! – Read all the Fishman’s tails in… On The Pond, April ‘09’ – On the shelves now - may The Dog be with you

*Classifieds

*Comps and results

*Bongo Massif Bro’s – ‘…ding dong merrily on high…’

Mr. Meaner... come take a trip on the wonder why, come take a slice of my pie -

*crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pies – available; only from…coming back soon

Packed with lumps and bits and things that went baa and bleat – and other things that didn’t say anything, like the potatoes – pure laziness! They’re wind free too (almost)

Buy six pies and get a free T-shirt; see the full fool’s T-shirt ‘menu’ and choose your shirt!

Plus; every T-shirt sold - $1.00 goes to charity