On the pond May 2008

G'day anglers, and other purveyors of the piscatorial species.

Fishman here with a look at what's happening on the pond.

According to our statistician 1 tourist died on the pond this season due to a coconut related incident.

It occurred right in front of the airport, what's that you say?

There are no coconut trees in front of the airport.

Well that's correct; as it turned out he was piloting a rented xe which came into rather solid contact with an old 67 Honda, transporting about 200 of the bastard coconuts to market.

In other stats 1 monkey died of a rum related incident. A couple of pearl farmers were having a rum after a hard days work and when they turned their backs momentarily, their pet monkey downed both glasses in a flash.

There was a smoky haze in the air as the monkey went ape!

Off he went climbing, and swinging, and jumping, and then he mistook a power pole for a bastard coconut tree.

His chain snagged a cable as he was executing a battered sav type maneuver.

Bang# goes the monkey.

Power was restored to the southern half of the island within 3 hours. 

The Rainbow and Coco dive companies have closed for the wet season, Searama and Vietnam Explorer will continue to operate weather and visibility permitting. 

Just like a pond version of big brother.

Bloke fishing on snapper rocks the other day said that

"The beautiful Sarah, who was working as an intern for Rainbow divers was thrown out of the house, and off the island for being a self mutilating, stalking lesbian"

This in no way affected the quality of service provided by the dive outfit, however it does explain why for about a week, Jo and Lindsay (dive instructor chicks) were looking nervous one minute, and falling asleep in their pizza the next.

Well the high season is over and it's time to put the tub in dry dock and plug up the leaks.

As the saying goes "give a man a fish, and he can eat sashimi, give a man a fishing boat and he'll be pissed and broke" 
 

Where to eat drink and be merry

As usual there are a few changes to the resort and restaurant scene on the island.

Charm is fully operational now and has nice rooms for $35 per night.

It's a little off the beach and seems to be in the Bermuda triangle of room rates. Punters either want a bungalow on the beach for $10 or $15, or stay in a classy resort for upwards of a monkey.

The food is very good and is a combination of seafood and some western dishes.

The seafood quesadilla goes. 

The Sunset restaurant is on the market again. The asking price is around $30,000 and with only 2 years left on the lease it appears about as attractive as a rotten grouper. 

The Luna cocktail bar and German bakery has closed its doors until October.

Dennis has returned to Deutschland to fill his billfold in order to tack on a restaurant.

The bakery aspect of the business has the locals floundering, as 1 cheesecake a day, does not a bakery make.

Where's the bread and pretzels?

The Rock Inn which was formerly the Hop Inn has changed its name back to the Hop Inn. Very confusing but the current management has come to the conclusion that the place made more money as the hop inn.

Nothing to do with the fact that the old managers were Australian

I might change my name to Greg Norman! 

Le Deauville will be moving from its current location in the Mai Spa complex. To the Kim Nam Phuong resort next door.

It will be closed from June until the new building is completed.

Beach and Street restaurant has closed, and the Ocean Bar and Grill may follow suit.

Get me that fish, I need some sashimi 

Bit of bait

I overheard a couple of blokes fishing off the rocks the other day, and as one bloke was pulling in a nice 1 kilo trevally, he says to his mate "Do ya know who the guy was that invented beer"? His mate turned to him and said "Na, can't say I do, why do ya want to know that"? The first bloke puts the trevally into his esky and says "I'd just like to buy him a beer" 

Fishing news

Last month one of Saigon's most eminent lawyers, and one of Saigon's most reputable quality furniture exporters jumped aboard the Bluewater Fishing tub for a spot of bottom fishing on the bombie off the pearl farm.

After a nervous start the cobia came on and 8 were taken using squid for bait. The fish ranged from 1.5 kilo, up to a nice 5 kilo specimen taken by the deckhand.

It's true that the skipper didn't trouble the scorer, however in his defence he firstly had to parlay with the AK47 toten guys in uniform, and then was busy rerigging the gear, as for a change it was the lawyer getting taken hook line and sinker. 

That's about it from the pond this time, remember

Keep ya lines tight, and only catch what someone can eat!

Oh! And watch out for coconuts.