Mullet oh mullet, where was the mullet?  For those of you caught unawares, last weeks round of football was "Heritage Week" and was a remembrance of the ‘80's.  It was great to see the goal umpires back in the garb that made them the most recognizable sporting judges in the world.  The long white coats and the old fashioned hats, ah, the memories.  But where was the mullet?  The Adelaide Ravens who have had more mullets in their short history than any other team, besides Hawthorn, seemed to show ignorance last week and at least 4 regular mullet men had had their mullets trimmed.  Bad Form!

Digger is issuing a challenge to the Pearlman and all others out there in Crazy Fool land to come up with the best mullet team in AFL history.  Here are a few names for starters,

Gary Ayres, Chris Langford and Dermot Brereton from Hawthorn.  Billy Brownless of Geelong.  Jimmy Hey from Birregurra.  So, from the back line, send in your team.  Digger will try to whip up a free haircut for the winner.

Digger has also noticed a bit of hypocrisy from Commandant Andrew and his cadre as a result of the Heritage round.  All season the umpires have worn colored outfits when officiating Collingwood games due to the ‘Pies traditional colors of black and white being the same as the umpires traditional black and white and we also have the "clash" colors always been talked about.  But clashes seem to be forgotten about when a special AFL incentive is on.

Another highlight from the Heritage round was seeing those dog ugly Brisbane Bears jumpers back in public.

Digger just has to share this with you.  A new book about to hit the shelves is AFL Lingo - the A - Z.  It has a chapter on Dyerism's, former Tiger strongman Jack Dyer's legendary comments, faux pas, etc.,  My favourite is,

"An Essendon supporter is just a Collingwood supporter who can read and write".

Last weeks first match of the round, as predicted, saw a huge win to the Ravens over the Kangaroos.  The Ravens really celebrated Mark Ricciutto's 300^th game in grand style and absolutely pulverized the ‘Roos.  After 16 rounds the Ravens have a percentage of 172.38 and sit two games clear on top.  The next highest percentage is that of the Swans with 119.21.  Can anybody stop the rampaging Ravens?

West Coast traveled to Melbourne to take on the ‘pies.  Both sides had not been traveling all that well in the last month or so and a close match was expected.  The Weagles jumped out of the blocks and should have been at least 6 goals up at quarter times which would have been enough to win the game.  However they could not finish off and the lack of scoreboard pressure kept the Collingwood in the game.  The Magpies responded and in the end ran out convincing winners.  Are the Weagles gone?

The battle for the wooden spoon was the motivation for a win in the Essendon V Carlton match last Saturday.  With ‘Dons coach Kevin Sheedy laid up with a crook shoulder, assistant coach Gary O'Donnell took over the reins.  Essendon lead by 3 goals half way through the final quarter and looked likely to grab the spoils.  However, the Blues showed a bit of gumption and guts a clawed their way back into the game.  The nett result of this game - a draw, the first for the season which leaves Essendon as favourites for the ‘Spoon.

An Akermanisless Brisbane hosted the Hawthorn team in Brisbane and as mentioned above looked dreadful in their honeycomb and cerise Bear jumpers.  Thank the Gods that Fitzroy joined with the Bears to become the Lions and get some dress sense.  We saw lots of inaccurate kicking from Brisbane in their 10 point win with both sides kicking 11 goals.  Bradshaw kicked 4 majors for the Lions and the Hawks were served best up forward by Lance "Buddy" Franklin.  Name of the week for round 16 is young Lion cub Rhan Hooper.  What sort of name is Rhan?

Sydney unearthed first gamer Heath Grundy when they hosted Richmond at the SCG.  Grundy kicked 3 goals on debut as the Swans outclassed a poor Richmond outfit.  Patrick Bowden was again amongst the Tigers best and Richmond's finals aspirations maybe over.  Their poor percentage of 84.25 will be the telling factor.

A piss poor game was that became exciting in the last 7 seconds was held in Tasmania between St' Kilda and Port Adelaide.  While the first 99 minutes of the game was a yawn with dull, colorless and unattractive football, the game came alive in the dying seconds when Power forward Daniel Motlop flew above the pack and took an absolute screamer.  As Motlop walked back to take his kick from 25 metres out, the siren sounded (yes, the Aurora Oval siren, new of course), Motlop grimaced and knew his kick could win the game for his team.  The pressure was too much, he missed, lucky to make the distance and walked off the ground with head bowed.  Best for the Saints were Darrell Baldock, Peter Hudson and Kevin "Cowboy" Neale.

As reported by tipping comp. leader Ms. Watson she was at the Dome to watch Geelong and the Western Bulldogs tackle it out.  And what a match is was.  The Doggies were 5 points up at half time, the scores even at three quarter time and in a titanic battle in the final term we saw the Cat's get up by a solitary point.  Last time these two teams met it was the Bulldogs by a point.  Brad Johnson was again the mainstay of the ‘Dogs forward line with 5 majors.  Matthew Scarlett was left unopposed in Geelong's backline and picked up a heap of possession.  Nude nut, Paul Chapman kicked 3 for the Cats.  The Cats are now in the battle for the 8^th and final spot for the finals.  They are a game behind the Mentals but depending on results, their percentage of 103.49 is worth about a game.

Melbourne traveled to Subiaco for the second time in three weeks this time to challenge the Mentals.  Fremantle with a 4 goal to none second quarter proved to good for the wayward Demons.  Melbourne had one more scoring shot than Fremantle but lost the game by 29 points.  Matthew Pavlich was on target for the Dockers with 3 majors while Aaron Davey slotted 3 for the Dees.

THE RACE FOR EIGHTH

Current ladder positions are details in the race for 8^th place are currently,

Team                            Played              Won     Lost     Points               %

8^th        Fremantle                     16                    9          7          36                    93.67

9^th        Geelong                        16                    8          8          32                    103.49

10^th      Richmond                     16                    8          8          32                    84.25

In their next two games,

Fremantle play Carlton at the rink and Hawthorn at home for what should be conceivably 2 wins.

Geelong plays the Kangaroos in Canberra and travel again to play Brisbane the following week.  For arguments sake let's say 2 wins for the Cats.

Richmond play 2 teams higher on the ladder than them and should suffer two defeats.

Using the average points scored for and against the scenario with 4 matches to go will look like this,

8^th        Fremantle                     18                    10        8          40                    95.77

9^th        Geelong                        18                    10        8          40                    104.71

So there you go, not sure what it all means other than both teams have their own destiny to play for.

Round 17 kicks off Friday night with the rejuvenated Collingwood clashing with hapless Hawthorn at the ‘G.  Collingwood should have too much experience for the young Hawks who have battled manfully the last couple of games but just cannot put 4 quarters together.  If it is wet and windy the Hawks may have a chance (Bateman) but the ‘Pies should be too strong.

On Saturday at the ‘G, Richmond host the under performing Saints.  St. Kilda are in 5^th position on the ladder but have really had a stop'n'start type of season.  They eked out a win against Port last week but were not impressive.  Similarly, Richmond were bad against the Swans and need a win to have a finals chance.  In a close one, St' Kilda to get over the line.

A faltering Weagle outfit hosts the unstoppable Adelaide Ravens at Subiaco, Perth.  The West Coast do not lose too many at home but two on the trot seems inevitable.  What can you say about this super team other than they will continue on their merry way and easily account for the home team.  West Coast may tumble from second spot.

Saturday night sees the rink in action for the first time for the round.  Essendon up against the Brisbane Lions is the match up and this should be a close encounter.  The ‘Dons are set to include some youngsters in the team as they continue to try and avoid the wooden spoon.  Brisbane cannot afford to take the game lightly if their rough hope of making the finals is considered.  If the Bombers can get over the hollow feeling created by last weeks drawn game they have sniff.  The Bombers to win.

Sydney are on the plane again and fly to Adelaide to meet Port Adelaide.  It is a tough schedule for the Swans having been in Perth two weeks ago.  The AAMI stadium will give Barry Hall and his cohorts more room to move than their home nest and while Port have been gallant in defeat in their last two games they look like a team not knowing how to win.  Brothers Cornes are going well for the Power but Sydney will be too strong.

A trip up to the Manuka Oval in Australia's capital city of Canberra should prove interesting for the Kangaroos and Geelong teams.  With the Kangaroos recently announcing that they are trading in Canberra for a new home away from home on the Gold Coast, it will be interesting to see how the crowd reacts.  The Cats seem to be heading in the right direction at the moment and you would think that the motivation of a possible finals place should be enough to get them over the line.  However, they are a Jekyll and Hyde team that keep you guessing.  The Cats to scare their supporters again and just win by 2 goals.

Carlton and the Mentals at the rink on Sunday.  Fremantle, on form, should be the dominant team as they race towards the finals.  The added bonus of playing under the closed roof at the dome should assist if we see inclement weather.  The Docker's  have Des Headland and Josh Carr out suspended for the game and these two will be missed.  All up, the Dockers have to much to play for and will get up over the luckless Blues.

The final game for round 17 will see a huge clash between Melbourne and the Western Bulldogs.  With Melbourne coming off two defeats in their last three matches and the Doggies losing last week to Geelong, a win this week is vital for both teams.  Melbourne will certainly miss the drive of Brad Green out suspended for head butting.  Melbourne could take second spot on the ladder if they win and West Coast lose and this should prove enough inspiration to shrug off the speedy Western Bulldogs.  Expect another close game with a Demon win the likely outcome.

Sid Schooner

Digger

cf

Eastern Bloc

Flea

Pearlman

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