Crazy Fool's Newsround - 6th - 12th Nov 09 volume354

6th - 12th Nov 09 volume354
November, 11th 2009 15:42 PM

“They choose the path where no one goes

They, they ask no quarter

Ohh, ohh, no quarter

Ohhhh, visit me with no quarter

Ohhhh, the pain with no quarter”

(Page and Plant)

‘Play’, quizzes, trivia, sponsors, sport and world news – it’s all in

crazy fool’s newsround

in that order

(fresh edition brought to your doorstep every Friday morning – may contain nuts)

Plus the radio show – with a new look!

That was the week weren’t it;

The scene: Mrs Doufries, the notorious, spy, spinster, spiritualist, spic, span, spurious spatula sales-woman and car mechanic is settling an argument in fool’s café, Fatsobasteruad the new chef from Garlic is insisting on putting sun-dried tomatoes with the spit-roasted quarter of chicken and chips (gravy optional).

Mrs Doufries: …now, Fatso, Fatso is it? Can I call you fatso, good, let me tell you something I was to learn from the great arbiter of fact himself, Petronious Arbiter, back in AD 60, Pret said, as I was fortunate enough to know him well enough to call him Pret, he said, that being Prêt, said, “I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any situation by re-organising; and a wonderful method it can be for creating this illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation.” (she paused to let the arbiter’s facts seep into his big fat head), So why don’t you shove those sun-dried tomatoes up your arse and go about how fool wants his chicken served.

Fatso: Yes Me-lady

Narrator: And with that Mrs Doufries rode off into the sunset on her golden winged shipped sailed by Jimmi and dipped out of site over the crusted ridge exposing only the bird from her left hand as she disappeared into Worzel Gummidge’s privet and was attacked by a flock of starlings that pecked mercilessly at her eyes… ‘thanks Mrs Doufries’ fool whispered as he wiped the giblets from his brow…

fool’s speciality

1. To which Roman Emperor did Petronious serve under?

2. Which word means ghost and also strong drinks?

3. What kind of day do Scouts and Guides call the anniversary of their founder’s birth?

4. Which war is the first for which there are photographic records?

5. In which US state is Death Valley?

7. Which word describes both a blunt sword and a very thin sheet of metal?

8. The Mesozoic era is divided into three geological periods. Cretaceous and Jurassic are two. What is the third? A) Carboniferous B) Triassic C) Silurian

Get all the answers and more in the *Comps & results page – or buzz him, manually, on cf.crazyfool@gmail.com

WHO AM I? – 2009 – It took ‘em a while but they got it and gotting, gotten, getting it first was the Eagle with Peaches Geldof – here’s the reminders:…No.1, “Loosely a rat I was on the beaches when the Stranglers noticed me!” & No. 2, “I think I’m mentioned somewhere in this week’s quiz!” Numero trez; “Since my mum’s boyfriend hung himself in a sex game she went completely nuts and accidentally died taking copious amounts of heroin.” – So straight onto a new clue, No1: “I penned Julius Caesar’s demise.”

Is it me?

This is the 2009 Main Comp series – with a sub points tally in brackets for the first answer in: For previous results in the Main Comp – check the *comps and results page.

Scores at the end of week 42 or 43 if we’re strictly going by the Gregorian calendar and due to the fact fool’s missed a week.

For those who like ones; one’s and brackets and LZ:

Dracule: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 (1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1)

Legal Eagle: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 (1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 + 1 bonus point, 1)

Hannibal Lecherure: the song remains the same (LZ):

Silent Third Party, formerly known as Quizmaster: 1, 1, 1, 1 (1)

Casualty: zip

Aye: 1 (1)

Others: 1

Quote(s) for the week:

Stan: You know, Ollie, I was just thinking

Ollie: About what?

Stan: Nothing. I was just thinking

Laurel and Hardy

*Non-descript trivia moment*

CARRY ON FILMS

Carry On…

Cowboy…1965

Screaming…1965

Don’t Lose Your Head…1966

Follow That Camel…1967

Doctor…1968

fool’s Gold

James Bond is known as Mr Kiss-Kiss-Bang-Bang in Italy

The average lifespan of a Stone age caveman was 18 years

The onomatopoeia for a dog’s bark in Japanese is wan-wan

Dr. Phil Ology’s word of the week:

“Words, don’t come easy to me, how can I find the way to make you love me, oh words, they don’t come easy…”

Friggatriskaidekaphobia is a morbid, irrational fear of Friday the 13th. Therapist, Dr. Donald Dossey, whose specialty is treating people with irrational fears, coined the term paraskevidekatriaphobia. Perhaps Dr. Dossey has an irrational fear of friggatriskaidekaphobia. Anyway, he claims that when you can pronounce the word paraskevidekatriaphobia you are cured of the irrational fear. If it doesn't work, he'll just say you aren't pronouncing it right.

Things that are really getting on my nose, up my goat and around my wick this week:

Nothing – and before you start it’s not a Seinfeld thing, but quite the opposite. It is but a basic requirement for need, necessity and the pragmatic resolution of must with no leniency for the doings of tomorrow, but a big fat why do today, what you can do tomorrow. However, on perusing the adhesive patter-patter of a choice-less actions is a quick way to go round in circles quick sharp, tripping yourself up on the corners as you go. But what the Beelzebub am I talking about? I’m not sure but I think it twirls through the consequential wrappings of, ‘yeah, I gotta do that today, and if I don’t do it today it’s gotta be tomorrow the latest’, and as an advocate of action, despite the looks from a protagonist afar, I’m one for decisive deliberations till the fan’s fully on and the dollops duly flung. Hang on this may not be such a bastard moment at all, but one of joy and swooped up in one bite sized apathetic bundle; left to ferment till soft, squidgy and warm. But then reality sticks it’s fingers up your nose and tells you you’re doing nothing about packing up, to move house, which will no doubt render you without the possessions you intended to keep in the rush clear out, but will arrive in paradise with three boxes of full of shit. So far I’ve been on top of it though, and only yesterday managed to clear some of the clutter; a Kingmex PD.07 USB plastic packaging (circa 2007), one ‘Cricket’ lighter (fuel depleted), one Superbowl Vietnam pen – only 47 various styles to go, which are strategically positioned in cups, on tables, in baskets and in one soap dish in the bathroom downstairs, one empty box of Ba So Nam with half a (unlit) cigarette inside, a ripped up photocopy of my passport, so don’t think about coming round to piece it back together in order to steal my identity and lay claim to my wax-coated cheese collection, because it won’t work you hear me, and one course piece of black coloured sandpaper, folded into quarters - hardly used. Tomorrow I will dispense of old air flight boarding passes along with empty Keo Dan Giay glue pots, plus half a dozen broken rulers. – Not doing nothing – I don’t even know what it means - Bastards!

Things that are just Sweet Love:

Lots of paper scattered everywhere in an organised mess and the maid tries to clear it up? - Here’s the trick; just submit an incessant low pitched growl. The mandatory Elvis lip will automatically ascend. From there it’s impossible not to hum one of the King’s tunes to yourself and immediately you’ve got yourself a few endorphins points – a-ha! Plus I like the smell of me old Granddad’s pipe.

A viewer’s favourite haystacks from Bosnia – has finished – this week we are going to look at this:

This is another plane, err helicopter:

And now this bit:

Ladies and folk please step aside for cfn's brave, brave sponsors…

Pacharan Tapas & Bodega: bodega, oh baby when you dance like that… Sangria, mojito’s, plenty, plenty, plenty of wine and beer; Plus, The best Spanish cuisine in Saigon this side of Spain - Which is just to the right of Vietnam Cracking live music too.

www.9dragons.asia

Have you had yours today?

GTM: Probably the best set of garden and leisure furniture in the world. See the *classified section under business opportunities for more details.

Bootlace: Walking holidays in the Alpujurras, Sierra Nevada, Spain. www.bootlace.com and Prices and dates 2009
Not just a walk in the park

Kim Hai Trading Co., LTD: for the best meat available in Vietnam email: info.kimhai@media.net.vn for a full listing

Jaspas: Marguerite madness on a Friday is pure madness. See them in the *classifieds. There’s more on offer here that meets the eye – look out for their superb long-lunch deals – they're long, lunchy and superb and they're in Saigon, Vietnam! Salt ‘n’ pepper steak is a must – glug it down with a splash of Tatachilla Cabinet Shiraz – you can’t hide forever Jim!... ‘Oh yes I can.’

Al Frescos: Take home two pizzas and only pay for one – I ask you – that’s just crazy - every Tuesday at Al’s – make it a date. Check the *classifieds for their new-ish restaurant in Saigon, Vietnam – is it nearer to you?

www.alfrescosgroup.com

Alibi: Good food, good wine, good beer, come here. It’s in Saigon – they have five big flat screen TV’s – pretty good to catch all your sport on; plus, plenty of boogieing to their live music and party nights

Don't forget the *classifieds – something for the weekend? - Just a haircut please.

Ok, what’s on in cfn this week?

See; Categories for all that’s on offer, in the meantime fool recommends these:

*Digger; still on that footy trip

*Trigger: with his brother

*cf'’s radio show featuring Digger:

Playing NOW the one with:

Randall

Plus all the ‘oldies’: Adam & Valerie, Olda Higden, One Eyed Dog, Risky Red, the long forgotten Christmas show and its Typewriting September predecessor, - new one coming soon - look out for the fish!

*Tit-bits – .../…Something to offend everyone…/……/…/…/…

*Grub–Up – * New- New – new – NEW! – Brand new menu in crazy fool’s kitchen/café – see poetry corner – nuff said

*Poetry Corner: ‘Ode to a crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pie’

*NEW...Fishman...NEW...Fishman! – Read all the Fishman’s tails in… On The Pond, April ‘09’ – On the shelves now - may The Dog be with you

*Classifieds

Ok, forget the rowing machine – House for rent; District 1 HCMC – contact the fool!

*Bongo Massif Bro’s – ‘…more sticks please …’

Mr. Meaner... come take a trip on the wonder why, come take a slice of my pie -

*crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pies – available from the Blue Gecko

Packed with lumps and bits and things that went baa and bleat – and other things that didn’t say anything, like the potatoes – lazy gits! They’re wind free too (almost)

Buy six pies and get a free T-shirt; see the full fool’s T-shirt ‘menu’ and choose your shirt!

Plus; every T-shirt sold - $1.00 goes to charity

We’ll take a T-shirt

This bit is the rugby bit:

Published 12.11.09

It wasn’t 19-18 - Lest We Forget

If England had got 10 more points then the whole episode would have turned out quite poignant, being the Remembrance Day Test ‘n all. But that’s simply holding out to historical fiction, which as a story goes does follow the conventions of ‘realistic fiction’ subsequently this being the case George Clancy would have had to have been taken outside and shot, with perhaps only one lingering kiss from Mrs Doufries to keep him from buckling at the knee.

But I digress, for no matter all of the touch judge’s dodgy flagmanship it was, which it was, it was the Aussies who put away England 18-9 - And deservedly so. So it was.

Despite a lineout coming off an Australian boot out on the full, it was Genia’s subsequential arched run, that shepherded Geraighty out of the way for him to tuck-in on a delayed straight line for a try. Yet despite this act of genius from Genia, and yes, won’t we just here that accolade for a while, but keep the praise as he will, because he is some player, so, yet despite this well taken try, which frothed from the fortunate position Australia found themselves in, it could have been at least another four more; two drops from Ioane, whom Bloke Down The Pub says is Serbian, a blinkered gaffe from Rocky, who forgot about his outside man and Ben Robinson’s hilarious run, where bulk interfered discourteously with aerodynamics.

Australia did, however, get another try in Adam Ashley-Cooper’s power run down the left flank, which stuttered and bowled over Monye and Cueto’s uncertain attempts in the tackle. From England’s point of view you’d have to be pretty embarrassed on both tries, but for Australia it was a case of smoke ‘em if you’ve got ‘em.

Australia played with timely belief and are maturing into a better and more determined side, yet you’d be wrong to suggest it was one way traffic. England started well, then ran out of ideas in attack and reverted to smash ‘n grab then finished looking dangerous with super subs in Haskell, Lawes and Hodgeson injecting fresh, and more dynamic assaults – let’s hope they start next week.

Moody and Sgt. Wilko were absolutely superb in defence whilst Quade ‘Red-neck’ Cooper stepped up to his potential in Australia’s midfield. Martin Johnston might have been a tad hasty in suggesting Australia’s ‘slicker’ onslaught was off the backbone of a recent Test match experience, but then ‘puff’ didn’t seem to be the factor of winning or losing, as opposed to, well, let’s hear Deans call it; “They (Australia) used a bit of nous.”

Rocky Elsom was under no illusions, “We know we’ve been in a Test match – that was high intensity stuff and England’s work at the breakdown was the equal of any Tri-Nations side I’ve recently encountered. Winning at Twickenham is always a dream for every rugby player and we’ll take that.”

Lest ye get confused about the mushrooms

I jest ye not and lay down but only in the phantasmagorical field(s) of Begs-me-pardon to pass by thee for such a flitting insight into the All Blacks’ win over Wales, 19-12 in the Millennium Stadium.

On a turf fit only for horses and mushrooms a Test of this magnitude was fought. If the playing surface wasn’t suffice then in some eyes neither was the officials deliverings; “The frustrating thing from our point of view was not getting the 50-50 calls.” Gatland recalls, but then reality slapped him firmly as he realised a dig at the ref was futile and that not being ‘clinical’ as he described it later, for the full 80 was their real let down.

Ryan Jones was in no doubt that Andrew Hore’s burrowing try was, if not the turning point, but a score which neither side was to emulate again. For Wales started well, attacked and had the Blacks hoofing the pig skin, for want of a better choice. These waves resided somewhat in the second half and the Oil Slick took a-hold, mostly by stopping the kicks, as James Hook was fielding them all too well.

But hang on, where was I? Argh yes, Ryan Jones’s take on the situation; “It was a fantastic Test, but we paid the price for a couple of errors in key moments.” – And one of those, if not such an ‘error’ but a blip on the landscape was at 7 points down with three minutes to go and an intercept pass by Alun-Wyn Jones saw him pound off up field for 70 metres and enter the All Blacks’ 22 only to be denied a pass by the back-tracking interventions of Zac Guildford, who has one hell of a future in front of him. – Crikey, pass the mushrooms.

Guinness Premiership – no, but there are some LV=Cup games:

Sarries beat Bath in a thoroughly entertaining game despite going down 3 tries to two – 30-22./ Leeds snuck one up on a very young Leicester, as Neil Back’s side got to grips in this pony Anglo-Welsh Cup – I don’t even know why I’m bothering typing it, must be those garlic mushrooms. / The ECCS (England Cricket Club Saigon) captain Simon Shaw made his return for Wasps as they helped themselves to a 24-20 win over L.Irish./ Ceri Sweeny mustered a last minute penalty to see Cardiff Blues go one up, literally, Gloucester – 26-25. / And the Quins and Scarlets shared two tries each and 15 points each. Jim Staples and Frankie Croxford did not play.

Top 14

Castres and Clermont played a non eventful game and Castres got 9! / Toulouse didn’t against Bourgoin and indeed managed a healthy 41-3 win. Florian Fritz got two here, with one each for Heymans, Picomoles and Albert Vervet FatsoBasualdo./ Mont-p beat Mont-b 19-0 with Vietnamese Trinh-Duc getting the only try. / I’ve got a few notes on Brive’s win over Bayonne 19-14, but realised that’s all you need to know./ Stade Francais nearly slipped up to Albi, but Mark Gasnier’s try helped them win 23-18./ And an early Blitz by Perpignan helped them see off Toulon 25-9

Magners League: nup, not this week

ANZ Cup

Canterbury retained the title by beating Wellington 28-20 where Colin Slade had a belter. He scored two tries and just might suddenly find himself shipped out to Europe this week I reckon.

Some shorts:

Heaps of fixtures this weekend, but before we go to ‘fool says’ let’s just rub in Leicester’s 2^nd string win over the ‘Is-it’s’ 2^nd XV by 22-17. Dick Muir was in charge of that game for the MB’s and he wasn’t impressed; “I don’t think I’ve ever seen (A South African) pack as bad as that, especially from a coaching perspective. We were given a lesson at the scrums.”

But that’s not going to happen on Friday night when France take on the real Boks in Paris. The French won their last encounter three years ago, which was in Cape Town 36-26 and indeed have notched five compared to the Bokkies three wins since ’97, but that was a different South African side, as Immanuel Harinodoquay knows. But he also knows this will be the same, “Above all it will be a fight between two packs of forwards.”

fool says France will bowl them over – 26-16!

Wales and Samoa share the other Friday-night gig where Samoa will bounce, boing, flip, smack, forearm their way to some sort of contention but will thoroughly get beaten by an annoyed Taffy outfit – Wales 36-21

England and Argentina share Twickenham’s turf and there it will be a similar story to Cardiff. They’ve both recently shared a 1 a piece win home and away last June, and skipper Juan Martin Hernandez Lobbe may suggest, “Anything but a win is unacceptable”, but they won’t get it. England 29-18

Scotland’s silent shuffle and rearrangements of almost the whole side will absolutely crush Fiji (Yes, getting flippant now aren’t I!), Scotland 26-12.

You tell me anyone who doesn’t want Italy to beat New Zealand.

And Ireland vs Australia on Sunday will be huge. The Aussies are confident and look to be coming good. Ireland have all its stalwarts, plus the crowd. But as sure as fool’s pickled eggs are eggs I reckon the Aussies might sneak it and plump for 21-20!

Some competitions now:

WIN a PRIZE!

John Smit’s XV; films where the villain is played by a Brit –: have some fun and try to name the actor!!! - This particular team will be finished… fool promises! – Only two to get.

If you’re wondering why it’s John Smit’s XV, it’s because he’s the current World Cup winning captain, so we’ve got another three bloody years of him yet!

15. Salom's Lot 14. Robin Hood 13. The Patriot 12. The Great Race 11. Pink Panther 10. Day of the Jackal 9. Silence of the Lambs 8. Braveheart 7. Lord Voldahart or as fool thinks it; Lord Vodaphone 6. Die Hard 5. Dracula (Any with Christopher Lee) 4. Bramstokers Dracula 3. ? 2. Snake from the Simpsons 1. ?

There’s a free t-shirt in the post for anyone who can up with the props here – I’m sick of it – ha, ha…nurse… - have received two props recently in Ray Winston and Bob Hoskins, but what were the films?

end rugby here!

Ok, a willow the wisp of cricket now:

Fowl is Fair and Fair is Fowl!

Amidst the mountainous peaks of nothingness and too much, Tip, crazy fool’s Radio Show’s rambling chef, grieved wearily from the Allies mess tent recently about the amount of leather n willow there is in this day and age – a day an age where it seems pigeons and seagulls alternate their viewing at Australians MCG depending on which sport it is; cricket or AFL.

Apparently pigeons are the cricket fanciers, but we’re not to know that now because we were in Guwahati to watch Australia win the sixth ODI vs India by six wickets, and take an unassailable lead in the series 4-2 they did in doing so. Nevertheless, in this north-east Indian town, where gulls are a delicacy, twitchers may take the fancy of a Ferruginuous Pochard or Grey Headed Lapwing or perhaps the advantageous delights of the Greater and Lesser Adjutant, not to mention the fowl variety in a Fulvous Whistling Duck!

But I digress, Doug Bollinger bowled up with an excelled 5-fer, whilst Mitchell snagged three of his own. All good for the young lads, but most importantly for the moral; how chuffed was The Punts? “It’s probably one of the best one day series I have ever been involved in what with all the injury and setbacks at the start of this tour.” – Good tucker too.

Falling fowl in Abu Dhabi is the Falco Biarmicus

The Black Caps had a 64 run win against Pakistan in Abu Dhabi to level the series 1-1 with huge efforts from McCullem knocking 131. Then, amazingly, New Zealand did it again by 47 runs a couple of days later to nab the series – 2-1. Brendan top scored again on 76 with Ross Taylor scratching 44. Pakistan were 101-9 at one stage, but managed to pull back to within a whisker of a win, and them Paki’s have got some whiskers – and if anyone has an aversion with the abbreviation of a nations country’s name then you should kindly go get fucked.

Incidentally Abu Dhabi is twin towned with Madrid and the Flaco is on all its stamps!

Late rugby news: Melbourne have been given the nod for the Super 15’s. Bloke from Zone said this rag was good, enjoyable, but a bit ‘cluttered’. He also said Pakistan will play their home Tests against New Zealand in New Zealand – and I’m the fool! – No flies in my soup waiter.

SCG Ashes Test moves to the ANZ stadium – what type of bird do they have there?

That’s it for this week

Other sports:

Ricky Hatton…forget it. He’s been hinting he may return to the ring after promoting his brother, Mathew’s, fight for the vacant IBO Welterweight Crown, which will be held in, and of all places…Stoke! He’s to fight Lovemore N’Dou. – It’s pointless continuing with this story.

David Haye in the meantime beat Wolkswagon head and broke his hand doing so. Trying to steal fool’s third person narrative he declared, “David Haye is the new Heavyweight Champion of the world – and I love it.” – See, amateur, couldn’t pull it off at the end.

Fabio Capello is England’s Italian football boss, for those not acquainted with the spherics of sport that would be soccer, anyway he, Fabio, likes shepherds pie – it’s official, so now you’re allowed to know. And by the way, it aint Nick anymore – it’s Sir Nick, as opposed to saint, who’ll be around next month.

Remember Morat Safin? He shagged every hot chick on the tennis circuit and smashed over 700 rackets in rage. Retired; Lest we forget.

And now let’s hear it for the news: Bong, bong, bong:

Dr. Heather Swann is a 47 year-old mum who has just become the world beating BASE jumper after hurling herself off a 21,000ft mountain in the Himalayas, India. BASE = buildings, antennas, spans (Bridges) and earth. Heather, who presumably could have mended herself amicably if she took a bump, being a doctor an all, but she didn’t necessarily take to it like a fish to batter as she explained, “It took me a very long time conquer a natural inhibition of throwing myself off a mountain.”

Korean greengrocer Cha Sa-soon passed her driving test at the ripe age of 68 and her 950^th attempt. I doubt if she’ll take it BASE jumping because that would be a sure way to lose your license, what with just getting it an all. Ozzy Osbourne might though. It took him 19 goes to get his test, but that was because he was always too pissed, as he said, “I would go for my test and they would see me and go, ‘No, Mr Osbourne! Come back another day. I’m not even getting in the car with you.’’ – No confidence, some people.

Hospital worker Jason Warner knocked himself silly on laughing gas for two days. After finishing his Saturday morning shift a fellow worker found him on Monday morning cocked up against the wall of a theatre, the apparatus still wrapped around his head and sitting in a pool of urine, presumably his own. He said he planned the nitrous oxide buzz, as he was addicted to it and reeled in the pangs of its euphoria. No joke.

Fly gas, fly

Crazy rock n roll capes No. XXXXXIIIIVVIVI! ‘I don’t want to set the world on fire…’ By The Inkspots was a 1941 hit - fact

Vet’s charity Erskine found out this week that 1 in 20 children aged between 9 and 11 in the UK thought Hitler was a German football coach, the Holocaust was a celebration after the war and 1 in 12 the Blitz was a clear up operation after the war. Oh yeah, and 1 in 6 thought Auschwitz was a theme park. – Lest we forget.

Peter Kay corner – very Cooper-esque, but has actually been replaced by Steve Wright: “I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.”

Keeping up the Blitz spirit were tube travellers at West Ham’s tube station in London. They were subjected to a couple having sex that was relayed over the tannoy at precisely 6.45p.m. Underground officials said, “A broadcast of sexual noises was heard through the tannoy. It was not from the station and it was not from any underground property.” Commuters were said to be ‘not alarmed and just smirked.”

Meanwhile Russian police are looking for hitmen who snuffed two dolphins at Moscow aquarium. A feud between bosses is thought to have led an inside job on the killings of 18 year crowd pleaser Baikol, who was poisoned and his side kick Koyla. Patras, a third dolphin is missing. Detectives said they are questioning a drug addict and ex thief who was the only member of the staff who failed a lie detector – are you surprised. Where do you keep a dolphin…mind you, they’re the only other mammal that has sex for pleasure – look under the bed!

Henpecked husband Lin Mai 60 hammered an eight inch nail into his own head after his wife went on and on and on and on and on and on and on – you get the picture. He said, “I thought life wasn’t worth living so I tried to end it. I woke up with a really bad headache – worse than even the biggest hangover I’ve ever had.” – ‘Got absolutely nailed last night’

Right, I think I’m done, I should be done, but no, here, have this last one; the third closest asteroid to pass by earth just missed us at 8000 miles away. Mind you it was only 23ft across so would have just vaporised on hitting our atmosphere anyway – ‘Oh what an atmosphere…’ Russ Abbott classic 80’s hit - listen now www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFPLk5mJ1D4. If that doesn’t comfort you be pleased to know that at this rate Koala bears will be extinct in 30 years, which means more eucalyptus for us and less dope on the streets.