6th - 12th January 2012 volume 466
January, 11th 2012 19:16 PM

“I’m the urban space-man!”

(Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band)


You’re reading crazy fool’s  newsround – the world’s news according to crazy fool all rounded up in a weekly bundle of:

 trivial-o-matic nonsense draped in world news and sport – not necessarily in that order

(fresh edition brought to your doorstep every Friday morning – may contain nuts)

Plus; the radio show – that has lots, lots more!

  

That Was the Week… What a Week! - Saturday’s 1p.m. 92.75fm and around the globe on www.radioindochine.com

Also podcasted later on fool’s very own radio: http://www.cfnr.co.uk/music.php

 

Reporter: crazy fool

Published 12.1.12  

                                        

For elements of 5001 Squadron, Royal Air Force – tally ho

And now let’s hear it for the news: Bong, bong, bong:

Brought to you by

  www.saigonsoundsystem.com

 

What’s in a name?

A man was apprehended by authorities this week in Madison, Wisconsin after neighbours complained of "excessive drinking and drug use" around a local park.

 

Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop, 30, was arrested by Police after they found him in possession of marijuana, drug paraphernalia, and a knife.

However, according to Zoppittybop’s facebook account, when he's not in trouble with the law he enjoys activities including "eating," "standing," walking," "thinking," and "diamond." His status is also single… so there is that, ladies.

On his way to the prison, Zopittybop-Bop-Bop allegedly told cops that he would eventually "get even with them."

Mr. Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop was born Jeffrey Drew Wilschke. He changed his name in October 2011, but could change the fact that he is slightly mental.


 

Self valet parking

                        An Australian man who thought his car had been stolen was reunited with it when it emerged that it had actually rolled into a closed garage.

It is thought that the car rolled down an incline, all the way across the street and towards a garage, where it forced itself under the roller doors, which then closed behind it.

The car remained in the garage for 17 days until the house's residents returned from holiday, while its baffled owner reported it as being stolen to the police.

'Although the roller door was closed, it had been damaged slightly and pushed out of its tracks,' a police spokesman told Australian reporters.

The police suggested that the man had left the car without moving its automatic transmission into park mode.

'After he walked away, the car rolled through the car park, across the road, down the driveway and forced itself under the roller door, parking perfectly inside the garage where it remained safely undercover for 17 days,' they added.

 

                        Meanwhile, thief, Gary Brar stole a car in Fresno California and ended up on the roof of a house after he hit some rocks and a tree stump and launched it towards the house landing squarely on the flat roof.

Amazingly no structural damage occurred to the house nor were any injuries sustained to either those in the house or car.

You see, it just takes one, now everyone will be parking there


Moving statues

            Italian police are trying to solve the mysterious disappearance of a 3.5 ton statue of a saint which has stood on the seabed off the coast of Calabria since 2007.

 

Authorities are baffled as to who – or what – could have removed the bronze statue of St Francis of Paola, which stands 7.2ft high and was securely embedded in concrete 95ft beneath the surface of the sea.

The hooded figure, with one arm raised in supplication, is one of several saintly statues which dot the Italian coastline and are meant to protect fishermen and scuba divers.

Theories are that the statue was mistakenly snagged by the net of a large fishing boat. However, Police are also investigating reports from the nearby town of Paola that a large statue-like object was seen on the back of a van in the days after its disappearance on Dec 30 or 31, suggesting it may have been stolen to order.

The sheer brass of it!



 (sponsors ad before the song that comes in the middle bit)


49 Mac Thi Buoi Street District 1, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam – probably the best eggs in a clay pot you’ll ever taste

 

Crazy rock n roll capes No. XXXXXIIIIVVIVI! ‘laziness is just a bone idle excuse for not doing anything, so I won’t – A-ha, see, bet you thought I was going to ramble on, as is my want at this junction, about drivel and pith regarding some pop star’s vision and their association with my back garden, Juice’s eggs in a clay pot and Legend recording studio – but nope – can’t be arsed – just a simple plain hairy Get It off Your Chest request sent in from Ian Gillian…

 

 

Take it away the song in the middle bit: (only available on website and radio!)

 

Peter Kay corner – very Cooper-esque, except this is a Peter Cook quote, which is a cross between the Kay and Cooper but without the k! – Wrong, all wrong, we’re going back to 2005 and a slice of vocabulary – wrong again, we’ve done a full circle and it’s back to Tommy Cooper, but with some new one’s – keep up! ‘I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet. 'Best before End'
'’

 

And now folks…

crazy fool’s

Kitchen 

Presents: crazy fool’s Cottage Pies – 150THB a slab

Fresh or frozen they’ll make you fart


 

Don’t forget t-shirts for sale – as always, $1.00 in every shirt goes to charity

 


crazy fool’s Kitchen; the home of cold banter, cracking beer and Grrreat live music…

 

Next event to be posted ASAP…

 

 


www.highstylecondominium.com

 

fool’s gold; now available on his radio show - http://www.cfnr.co.uk/music.php and 92.75fm - www.radioindochine.com

 

Animal news


 

*Randy the ram fathered at least 33 lambs after jumping a 1.5m (5ft) fence to go on his own personal ram raid. Randy – an 11-month-old texel ram – was only loose for 24 hours. But in that short space of time, the woolly lothario managed to breed with almost a third of a nearby flock. So far, 13 of his offspring have been born at West Lodge Rural Centre in Desborough, Northamptonshire. Twenty more ewes – a mix of Southdowns, Suffolks and Soays crosses – are expecting babies any day.

‘When the ewes come into season, they produce a perfume that drives rams wild but we were stunned when we found out how many were actually expecting.’


*A legendary bear soldier who became a hero in the Second World War is finally to be commemorated in Poland - the country he served.

 

The Syrian brown bear named Wojtek, who was adopted as a cub by members of the Polish Second Corps, became famous after carrying munitions to frontline troops while under heavy fire.

Aileen Orr, author of Wojtek the Bear, Polish War Hero, told the Times that having being raised by soldiers, Wojtek had no idea he was a bear.

'He just did what the men did and when they had a bottle of beer at night and some cigarettes, so did he, although he ate the cigarettes rather than smoked them,' she said.

At the end of the war, when the soldiers were to return to Poland from Edinburgh where they were stationed, they decided to put him in a zoo, and according to Ms  Orr, they 'cried like babies' when forced to leave him.

From then on the unlikely war hero lived at Edinburgh Zoo, enjoying beer and cigarettes and waving at any visitors who talked to him in Polish until he died aged 22 in 1962.

The Wojtek Memorial Trust, which is currently planning a bronze memorial in Edinburgh, is hoping to send another statue to Poland so the bear can finally have the homecoming he deserves.



*Customers at The Brandling Villa pub in Gosforth, Newcastle upon Tyne, can now order a bev for their pooch as the pub starts selling special dog-friendly beer.

The non-alcoholic, bubble-free drinks are made with malt as well as beef flavourings.

Pub manager Dave Carr said the dog beer was put on sale in the pub to help create an animal-friendly environment.  

The pub wanted to offer more to its canine customers than just a bowl of water and a dog biscuit.

The first batch of beer has been going down a treat and Mr Carr told the Daily Mail that everyone's dogs seem to love it.

But if man's best friend doesn't feel completely satisfied with just a beer, the pub's menu also offers dog-friendly food too.

Dishes include a doggy version of a chicken chasseur as well as a Sunday roast covered in cat-flavoured gravy.

 

*A swearing rescued parrot called Mr T is to be rehabilitated so he can help teach in schools and universities.

The green-winged macaw was rescued from a private home where he lived for seven years and was taught a number of rude words.

The bird is to be re-educated so he can help teach school children about the environment.

The naughty parrot's favourite words and phrases currently include 'b*gger off', sh*t and 'you b*stard'.

 

*To find out more of fool’s animal news, catch his radio show this Saturday 1p.m. on 92.75fm (Phuket) and around the world on www.radioindochine.com – podcasted later on fool’s very own radio page on www.cfnr.co.uk (http://www.cfnr.co.uk/music.php)

 

Number crunching


 

*Kung Fu enthusiast  Hu Jiakai cart-wheeled continuously for 3.5km through the streets of Changsha, China this week; Dressed in full martial arts attire, Jiakai  took an hour to do it, which wasn’t bad for the 47-year-old who didn't stop or stand up during the whole event. The local builder was aided by his brother-in-law throughout the stunt, who acted as an escort and witness to the bizarre spectacle who said, 'His tumbling is really faster than our walking.'

             

*Women tell nearly 500 fibs a year about their eating and drinking habits, according to a survey.

 

"It was only a small portion," is women's favourite untruth, and one of nine lies told weekly by the average woman.

It is followed by "I'll have a big lunch so I won't eat much after this", and "I only treat myself once in a while."

Claiming always to eat five portions of fruit and vegetables a day, never eating biscuits and only drinking one glass of wine a day are also common falsehoods, according to a study released by Timex.

Women often claim to be only "eating the kids' leftovers" or "testing the dinner" when indulging, the watch manufacturer found.

Chocolate, crisps, cake, wine, cheese and bread are among the foods most likely to be the subject of deception, the survey of 3,000 people found.

Dr Cassandra Maximenko said: "Studies show that keeping a food diary can double weight loss but it seems that rather than being honest about the food and drink which passes our lips, many women are lying about it, or completely denying it altogether.



 

More numbers to crunch, cheese to discuss and fool’s gold, tales from the dark side and lots, lots more on; fool’s radio show – That Was the Week… What a Week - Saturday 1p.m. on 92.75fm in Phuket and worldwide on www.radioindochine.com - Saturday’s 1p.m. straight after Big Dan’s Sports Centre show. (Podcasted later on fool’s very own radio page on www.cfnr.co.uk - http://www.cfnr.co.uk/music.php) – download it as an MP3 and climb up on the roof to get away from it all.

 

I’m off – come on Brutus

 

Keep it turning, keep it wheel.

 

Just cf it

 

cf


 

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