Crazy Fool's Newsround - 4th-10th August cfn v.198

4th-10th August cfn v.198
August, 10th 2006 14:55 PM

‘There were psychedelic elephants eating conifers and cheese, the mice and ants of once their abode were munched down to their knees. The churn was swirled in Nelly's belly till dung it did the form, and Georgie, Ringo, John and Paul rock n rolled with it in the thorn.' Or so was the darkened flame lit bush tales from Brian Epstein's African tribal son's chief daughter - Little Miss Chief.

keep undercover

The elongated backstairs of rumour and buzz are quietly, privately folded and formed into under the counter truths and pork pies that snake their way through the populous of man and beast. And their undercover clandestine hush is predominantly the root of every hoodwink that many fellow can portray to and betray his fellow fellow in the world of reality and hogwash. I rest my case said the Right Hon. Rev L. Bottom and MP for Poppycock and Twaddle, East.

But ignore all that and believe yourselves in these:

1. The Boston tea party triggered the American War of Independence; true or false?

2. What was the capital of Pakistan before Islamabad?

3. What make of car is a 2CV?

4. Where is the world's longest straight stretch of railway line?

5. If silence is golden, what is silver?

6. What does scarify mean?

7. Who was the Brown Bomber?

8. What are the last three words in the lyrics of the song ‘Bohemian Rhapsody'?

Answers to quiz v.197 available on http://www.cfnr.co.uk/ and did we have a winner? ...yes we did...I think...I'll just check that...yep we had a winner, this week a Mr. M. Strongarm from Shewentonherownaccord, Indonesia - Coupon in the post sir.

WHO AM I? Was also, eventually, peeled and mashed and was of course Mr. Potato Head. Lucky winner was a Miss A. O'Neil, all the way from America now residing and swatting in Reading, England.

This week's new WHO AM I? Clue No.1; ‘I'm probably as abstract as some of my paintings.'

is it me?

Ok, change of quiz prize this week; The Who's Quadrophenia cd - one of cf's classic favourite albums - believe me, you want it.

And as always on crazy fools newsround, http://www.cfnr.co.uk/ there's *Digger and his AFL reasoning - getting to the nitty gritty of the season eh Digger - go the Saints. *Trigger will be helping you to make some cash in this year's Aussie Spring carnival, look out for Trigger's Stable. *cf's bringing you a recipe to salivate to this week, not sure if it's from Russ or our mystery cook this week, and *Bongo Massive's been telling me it's now Bongo Massif and he's got a bro on board, so it's now the Bongo Massiff Bro's or something like that, either way when he gets his hands out of his Bongo's he's gonna rock your tits off.

In the meantime, have this;

Rugby, and...nope, it's no good, I can't shake this hangover today, and so it is going to be the most briefest of round-up's this week - ‘thank Beelzebub' some of you cry, I hear. So without further ado The Wallabies beat The Boks last week...just, 20-18 it was, after a late Aus try and a conversion from Stirling Mortlock, in off the upright. Jake White commented, "Some teams win and some teams lose, I didn't think they won, I think we lost. That sums it up for me." - And me.

John Connolly remarked with a slip of a grin, "It gives a new meaning to the term, ‘winning ugly'. It was by far the worst performance of the season."

Gregan didn't have a good game and someone in the Sydney Morning Herald saw it, he said, "Forget what all of George Gregan's lickspittle mates in the print and broadcast media are gibbering on about, and do what (previous coach) Eddie Jones was going to do this year if he hung around long enough - get rid of the skipper." - Mince your words then.

Next game is the Wallabies in Auckland on 19^th August - who do YOU, think will win - why not post your views on cf's forum in gibber-gibber.

398 0f 545 English Premiership players bothered to answer a poll, in which 80% said their injuries got worse over the season due to too many games, and 60% say the season's too long - but hang that's boring, let's get back to Aus where fat prop Matt Dunning ripped a door off a taxi outside ex fat prop Bill Young's hotel - out of court settlements are being settled whilst Matt sobers up.

And Michael Jones is to coach the Specific Islanders on their autumn tour to Europe this Nov, they play Wales on the 11^th, Scotland on 18^th and Ireland on 26^th - let's hope none of those dates are a Sunday.

Ok, cricket, and England wrapped up the Pakistan series with a win in Headingly this week. England were once the world's 2^nd best rated Test side until the Paki's nicked it off them earlier this year, but now and it has to be said, with help from that man Monty, England nicked it back again.

I am, as said, really struggling here so I'll just give you some quotes from the big names and something to quander on with only 100 days till the Ashes. By the way was that worth Bret cutting a cake in Sydney's harbour?

Anyway, Beefy, "Monty is the best left arm spinner in the world."

Strauss on the Saj, "Sajid was outstanding. If a guy can bowl over 90mph and reverse swing it, he always has the potential to be a threatening Test bowler."

Strauss or Fred captain, and John Crawley, will we see him down under?

Ok, a last couple of stories before I really collapse in a steaming pile of bile and pus;

Lewis Pugh completed the 203 mile swim of the Thames the other day. It took him 20 days and it was all for global warming awareness, he said, "I hope it brought home the message, we have to do all we can to be aware of climate change."

Surely this was easier Lewis

A new chocolate bar that'll help you lose weight and get you a bit of nookie has been invented by top chef Paul Du Costa Greaves. It's got cocoa and chilli, which both offer an aphrodisiac and the chilli quickens the metabolism. It cost £3.99 a bar and as Paul said, "It's a taste experience and just 4 pieces are enough to have an effect."

In the shops now

80 year-old Hugh Hefner wants 39 year-old Nicole Kidman to appear in his grot mag. After seeing her naked on stage in the Blue Room (why don't we hear about these plays?) he has been besotted by her curves and curls, he said, "She is bewitching and the vision of her with a cigarette in one hand and her knickers in the other as a delicious French au pair haunts my fantasies." - Well they would anyone's Hugh.

Nicole in the Blue Room

Right, lastly fisherman Ian Card got speared by a 14ft, 800lbMarlin with a 3ft spike. Ian's dad Allan said, "The fish all of a sudden changed direction and jumped. It made a lunge and Ian just happened to be in the way. I lost sight of him for a few seconds, then he surfaced." - He surfaced 50ft behind the boat with a bloody great hole just below the collarbone - can you imagine it?