December, 02nd 2009 16:04 PM
“Six days in captivity
Shoes too small to fit their feet
Their body’s abused, but their minds are free
You’re so blind that you cannot see
Free The
(The Specials)
‘Play’, quizzes, trivia, sponsors, sport and world news – it’s all in
crazy fool’s newsround
in that order
(fresh edition brought to your doorstep every Friday morning – may contain nuts)
Plus the radio show – with a new look!
That was the week weren’t it;
The scene: fool is back stage at
Narrator: I’m sorry, but that’s all we have time for this week, if you want to find out what happens to fool and his intrepid team of bluff mercenaries set to liberate The Saigon Six then stay tuned to this station over the next few weeks/ months and he’ll get around to telling you. In the meantime why not list to a bit of Chuck, but do comeback now won’t you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MLBfwblps8
Free The
1. What year was Chuck Berry born?
2. What are your phalanges?
3. What is the collective name for a group of beavers?
4. Which country ruled
5. Which letter in Braille comprises a single raised dot?
6. Which occupation was shared by the fathers of Roger Moore and Burt Reynolds?
7. Who has ‘100% Blades’ tattooed on his left arm?
8. A plot element in a film is often called which one of the following? A) Macbeth B) Macduff C) MacGuffin
Get all the answers and more in the *Comps & results page – or buzz him, manually, on cf.crazyfool@gmail.com
After the huge success of cf’s Quiz Night at the Zone Bar last week, we’re due another, but not sure of dates yet because I haven’t done the questions – stay tuned.
WHO AM I? – 2009 – It wasn’t Wacko Jacko, it wasn’t Jack Sparrow, it wasn’t Smee, who? You? No, Smee. So let’s stop farting about and remind ourselves of; Clue No.1 “Nay Hook nor Peter Pan, although my trial was a bit of a joke.” And head straight into Clue Numero dos; “A Capt’n I be, nay, for I was, and I’ll nay be joking about that. Although it could be said I was never released, but be sure I was so in kind from The
Is it me?
This is the 2009 Main Comp series – with a sub points tally in brackets for the first answer in: For previous results in the Main Comp – check the *comps and results page.
Scores at the end of week 45 or 46 if we’re strictly going by the Gregorian calendar and due to the fact fool’s missed a week.
For those who like ones; one’s and brackets and LZ:
Dracule: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 (1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1)
Legal Eagle: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 (1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 + 1 bonus point, 1, 1, 1)
Silent Third Party, formerly known as Quizmaster: 1, 1, 1, 1 (1)
Casualty: zip
Aye: 1 (1)
Others: 1
Quote(s) for the week:
He was doing a sentence – triple life! How do you do triple life? I mean if he die and then comeback he has to go back to the penitentiary? “Fuck kindergarten; get your little ass back to the penitentiary!”
Richard Pryor
*Non-descript trivia moment*
CARRY ON FILMS
Carry On…
Dick…1974
Behind…1975
Emmannuelle…1978
fool’s Gold
- It is an offence in
- Only seven prisoners were liberated when the Bastille was stormed in 1789 at the start of the French Revolution
- Several cast members of The Great Escape were actual P.O.W.s during World War II. Donald Pleasance was held in a German camp, Hannes Messemer in a Russian camp and Til Kiwe and Hans Reiser were prisoners of the Americans
Steve McQueen
Dr. Phil Ology’s word of the week:
“Words, don’t come easy to me, how can I find the way to make you love me, oh words, they don’t come easy…”
The word Phuc in Vietnamese essentially means happiness in English. When you think about it the equivalent sounding word in English often results in the same meaning.
Things that are really getting on my nose, up my goat and around my wick this week:
Folk saying it’s a bit chilly – it’s a bit chilly? It’s flipping not, that’s what it is, it is not cold, it’s hot, like cold beans that aint hot, they’re cold, but chilly…noooo, no way, not even close. December in Saigon is hot, but it’s cold, not cold however to suggest that it was really cold, but not as hot as let’s say March or April, which are hot months – really hot – all day hot, but now, here, in Christmas’s month, the temperature in the morning wriggles around fresh, or perhaps fresher that it was last week; about three people out of ten might wear a coat, which if it were to be worn in a cold country would be deemed as madder than mad, as coats are for poofs. If you told me it was cold in Saigon I’d have to physically punch you in the face, and tell you it isn’t, because it’s not – get it – chilly talk - Bastards!
Things that are just Sweet Love:
Birthday’s, leaving do’s, Christmas and octopus soup – warmed or charcoal grilled, I don’t mind.
A viewer’s favourite haystacks from
This is another plane, nope, had enough of them, let’s look at rocks:
And now this bit:
Ladies and folk please step aside for cfn's brave, brave sponsors…
Pacharan Tapas & Bodega: bodega, oh baby when you dance like that… Sangria, mojito’s, plenty, plenty, plenty of wine and beer; Plus, The best Spanish cuisine in Saigon this side of Spain - Which is just to the right of Vietnam Cracking live music too.
Have you had yours today?
GTM: Probably the best set of garden and leisure furniture in the world. See the *classified section under business opportunities for more details.
Bootlace: Walking holidays in the Alpujurras,
Not just a walk in the park
Kim Hai Trading Co., LTD: for the best meat available in
Jaspas: Marguerite madness on a Friday is pure madness. See them in the *classifieds. There’s more on offer here that meets the eye – look out for their superb long-lunch deals – they're long, lunchy and superb and they're in
Al Frescos: Take home two pizzas and only pay for one – I ask you – that’s just crazy - every Tuesday at Al’s – make it a date. Check the *classifieds for their new-ish restaurant in
Alibi: Good food, good wine, good beer, come here. It’s in
Don't forget the *classifieds – something for the weekend? - Just a haircut please.
Ok, what’s on in cfn this week?
See; Categories for all that’s on offer, in the meantime fool recommends these:
*Digger; still on that footy trip
*Trigger: with his brother
*cf'’s radio show featuring Digger:
Playing NOW the one with:
Randall
Plus all the ‘oldies’: Adam & Valerie, Olda Higden, One Eyed Dog, Risky Red, the long forgotten Christmas show and its Typewriting September predecessor, - new one coming soon - look out for the fish!
*Tit-bits – .../…Murder at Walmart…/…Dr Laura Schlesinger…/…/…/…
*Grub–Up – * New- New – new – NEW! – Brand new menu in crazy fool’s kitchen/café – see poetry corner – nuff said
*Poetry Corner: ‘Ode to a crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pie’
*NEW...Fishman...NEW...Fishman! – Read all the Fishman’s tails in… On The Pond, April ‘09’ – On the shelves now - may The Dog be with you
*Classifieds
Ok, forget the rowing machine – House for rent; District 1 HCMC – contact the fool!
*Bongo Massif Bro’s – ‘…more oomph please …’
Mr. Meaner... come take a trip on the wonder why, come take a slice of my pie -
*crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pies – available from the Blue Gecko
Packed with lumps and bits and things that went baa and bleat – and other things that didn’t say anything, like the potatoes – lazy gits! They’re wind free too (almost)
Buy six pies and get a free T-shirt; see the full fool’s T-shirt ‘menu’ and choose your shirt!
Plus; every T-shirt sold - $1.00 goes to charity
I’ll take a T-shirt
This bit is the rugby bit:
Published 3.12.09
Love Grows when their Movember’s go
Silliest Movember award goes to Habana – yes, he is a little turd, but a darn fine player and t’was top form to don that slippery caterpillar on his top lip – all for charity mate. If you think you can’t donate any more – think again – have a look:
http://au.movemberfoundation.com/research-and-programs
But now let’s get back to last week’s action which saw Scotland rattle defeat from Argentina’s jaws of victory; 6-9. The Pumas steadied themselves after a barrage of Scottish backlashing in the first half and made no bones about their physical kicking tactics. After only 27minutes the Argies had made 50 tackles to
The Tri Nations winners were up on the Six Nations winners 10-6 at half time with a well taken try off Jaque Fourie’s pop ball to a straight running Schalk Burger. But then you’d be right in saying their form mirrored their tour so far; inconsistent, cold, no depth or imagination and dare I say it no oomph.
Morning was off with the boot and the Bokkies frustrations at their inefficiencies, especially in the lineout where Paul O’Connell towered above everyone, led to ill-discipline and penalties gifted to new boy Jonathan Sexton to slot at will. Rob Kearney is surely making a world-wide name for himself at fullback and B.O’D was sure honesty was their key; “We were in a dark place this time last year and we did a lot of soul searching and there was huge honesty.” – Yes, when three admitted they were gay Brian had to explain it wasn’t that kind of honesty they were after!
Wales were shite. Wales have been shite all Movember.
Beside a few ‘injustices’ from Wales’ injury list they were never really in the game, simply because Australia found their form, especially The Git, who let’s be honest has so far been over shadowed on tour. Quade was also immense in this game and backed up the No.10 with clever running and an experienced boot.
The Git was quick to note a space behind the defence and pipped and nicely weighted grub through for Digby Ioane to collect and score. Seconds later the two Ben(n)’s up front had a good run, with the Robinson fella sneaking the best of out on the wing where he slipped it to Drew Mitchell who lined up James Horwill to score. Stephen Moore fed a rampaging David Pocock a few minutes later, which effectively called time on the Welsh – we were only a quarter of the way in!
The Git provided another for Polotu-Nou to seal proceedings, but collectively as a team this Aussie side had it all. Rocky knows why; “It’s hard to say what exactly improves this team, but we really just wanted to make amends and didn’t want to waste this opportunity.”
In France-land, Marseille to be precise, it was of a similar story where the All Blacks notched five tries against Les Blueueseues; 12-39.
The French weren’t bad, but The Blacks weren’t arf good. The whole game was good. The scrums the kicking, the speed. The Siv is back and he carved ‘em up. The first try came from his scything run to split Clerc and Damien Traille’s defence, although it was a bit of a naff attempt by DT. The Siv was on the hoof again though and from his 22 he charged up field taking a quicker Mils Muiliana with him who topped off his excellent tour with a fine try. When Julien Bonnaire fucked up at the back of a French scrum Jerome Kaino pounced, and that was effectively that. Vietnam’s Trinh-Duc snapped a nice long drop, but it was all over by then. Cory Jane kicked and gathered his own to score and Conrad Smith slipped down the blindside as the French slept to take n.5 – Done
Farewell do at Blue Gecko on Friday – 5p.m onwards – come! See the link at the bottom of all of this shit.
Guinness Premiership – : nup, not doing the domestic stuff whilst the Int’s are on
Top 14 – see above
Magners League: Listen… Oh, forget it
Some shorts:
The IRB came up with its biggest joke this week, and no not the one about no law changes right up until the 2011 World Cup, which means all play favours the defence, but the one where Richie McCaw gets the 2009 Player of the Year!
What a complete farce - Just because he was pipped last year by Shane Williams. In 2009 he’s hardly played. He missed half the S14’s, the June Tests v
B.O’D on the other hand had a great year; led
McCaw, he’s good, but he wasn’t the best in 2009 – that was Prim for the Saigon Geckos!
fool says :
Barbarians full of a side with absolutely no Germans play the All Blacks – who cares! Nevertheless it should be a try-fest game so give it a whirl – fool says it’ll be 41-38 to the Slick.
Some competitions now:
WIN a PRIZE!
John Smit’s XV; films where the villain is played by a Brit –: have some fun and try to name the actor!!! - This particular team will be finished… fool promises! – Only two to get.
If you’re wondering why it’s John Smit’s XV, it’s because he’s the current World Cup winning captain, so we’ve got another three bloody years of him yet!
15. Salom's
There’s a free t-shirt in the post for anyone who can up with the props here – I’m sick of it – ha, ha…nurse… - have received two props recently in Ray Winston and Bob Hoskins, but what were the films?
end rugby here!
Free the
http://au.movemberfoundation.com/research-and-programs - old hat, now it’s time to grow a Latin-American number and call it a Decembro-mo!
Ok, a willow the wisp of cricket now:
Six…free them!
Not much in the way of stakes in the world of cricket this week, nonetheless, some fine bouts of play, have ricochet across the global stumps.
The Aussies absolutely pulverised the Windies, who started off reasonably well before and steadily declining to situation ‘abysmal’. They were skittled in three days, where Chris Gayle was forced to rear his nonchalant head from the green haze of his hotel room and crinkled with a slow, yet deliberate tug on his melodic resonating voice purred, ‘It was downright embarrassing.’
He also promised a revised effort in Test two and has urged the team to use youngster 19 year old Adrian Barath’s debut century as a ‘motivating force.’ Meanwhile Brian Lara received the Australian Order of Australia, which is just as well because it wouldn’t have suited should it have come from
In
Jimmy was the man here, taking 5-23, with a couple of neat catches from Levi and Wright too. Vaughany also works for 5Live and has been harping on about how the Jarpies have been harping on, “They think they’re better than they are.” He says in referral to the constant jibes at Levi and Adil Rashid especially. In another pop
That’s it for this week
Free The
http://au.movemberfoundation.com/research-and-programs - you can still donate – all for charity mate
Other sports:
Don’t do golf!
Free The
And now let’s hear it for the news: Bong, bong, bong:
Staff at a British clinic for cosmetic surgery, Transform, have, yep, you guessed it; got their kit off for a Christmas calendar. The ladies aged between 25-57 have all had either a boob, bum, lip (both) or Botox to keep themselves easier to polish as they get older. Their jobs range from P.A’s, receptionists, nurses and admin staff and when non-surgical Coordinator Cat Digregorio (real name) got the chance to show off her recycled bucket she had stuffed up her oompa she grabbed it saying, “I jumped at the chance.” – I just find it all a bit weird, how you can somehow buy a new arse, which you found on special in aisle three and strut around like you think it’s normal. Unless its some titanic deformity then stick to your little boobs, crows feet and badgers arse, because let’s face it the silly season is upon us, and that’s when the great beauty god rears its bubbly majestic head and turns everyone into an eight pinter.
Save Our Six
Why even the snakes fancy themselves in this festive period and indeed a King Cobra took quite a shine to himself that he… ate himself. Just when he realised it was too late and its backward facing teeth would not release its tail he panicked. A Vet had to break its jaw; he did it with one punch, and set it free. If he was that hungry he should have gone to Asda (supermarket in UK) and bought himself a Christmas dinner for only £1.83, that includes turkey, spuds, carrots, gravy, cranberry sauce, stuffing, pudding and a mince pie – crikey…but I don’t like cranberry’s!
Tastes like…
How about this for a Christmas cake; it’s a cheese that tastes like Christmas cake. It contains brandy, mixed fruit, spices and cheese and is made in the Welsh-land of South Caernefron Creameries in Pwllheli Gwynedd Wales – now tell me
Who cut the cheese!
Crazy rock n roll capes No. XXXXXIIIIVVIVI! The Cheese Song by The Mighty Boosh is meaty. – check link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR95l9pMVkE plenty of links today eh!
Boff Simon Louis Lajeunnesse from
Peter Kay corner – very Cooper-esque, ‘If you think nobody cares try missing a few payments.”
Belle Floar is a 32 year old Dutch sexsomniac, which means she can’t stop having sex in her sleep. She wakes up in the morning not remembering a thing and has subsequently banned boyfriends from sleeping over at her flat in Almelo Holland. The school administrator keeps touching herself…all night. Ex boyfriend Jason – ex because he reckons he couldn’t compete with her any more and left stating his sexual prowess was floored – no pun intended. Belle said, “Out of the blue one evening he asked me why I played with myself at night.” – Doctors have no cure of this as they’ve never heard of it, so she set up a website and has since received plenty of similar stories from perverts, mental patients and goats.
Free… not so fast
Ok, while we’re on the story of sex, let’s finish with a story about sex, and a couple who’ve been making porn films in order to save up for their dream wedding on a beach in Cancun Mexico. The couple have made £1,300 from three films so far and reckon four more should do it. In the last one he was a photographer and her a lingerie model. She had to slap his arse with a paddle. The mum of four said, “I laughed my head off.” – Great story, even without the names, but even better the headline it came with in the paper – ‘Porn couple take it up the aisle’
Free The
just cf it
cf
p.s. cf’s Top 100, which updated version is in the categories and soon to be put to sound is also available here … http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUB7iTHmZBU
Other news
- • 3rd - 9th Feb 2012 v470 - (February, 09th 2012 15:03 PM)
- • 13th - 20th Jan 2012 volume 467 - (January, 19th 2012 12:25 PM)
- • 6th - 12th January 2012 volume 466 - (January, 11th 2012 19:16 PM)
- • 30th dec - 5th jan 2011-12 volume 465 - (January, 05th 2012 12:17 PM)
- • 23rd - 29th December 2011 volume 464 - (December, 28th 2011 12:09 PM)
- • 16th - 22nd Dec 2011 volume 463 - (December, 21st 2011 20:22 PM)
- • 9th – 15th Dec 2011 volume 462 - (December, 14th 2011 22:08 PM)
- • 2nd - 8th December 2011 volume 461 - (December, 07th 2011 21:06 PM)
- • 25th Nov - 1st Dec 2011 volume 460 - (November, 30th 2011 19:26 PM)
- • 18th - 24th November 2011 volume 459 - (November, 23rd 2011 19:32 PM)
