July, 29th 2009 23:08 PM
‘Play’, quizzes, trivia, sponsors, sport and world news – it’s all in
crazy fool’s newsround
(fresh edition brought to your doorstep every Friday morning)
Plus the radio show – with a new look!
But first let’s kick off with a new TV programme that was reviewed in the Sub-Mariners Gazette:
‘Unfathomable’
Captain Birdseye
‘Stoppable’
Davey Jones
‘A warmly engaging programme of genuine questionable quality’
Publishing news
That was the week weren’t it;
The scene: fool is hosting the newly acclaimed Eye-Spy quiz show. This particular week the teams were comprised of Famous Breeds of Spinach;
fool: Your starter for 10…the letters are TB… (short pause…buzz); Flat-leaf…
Flat-leaf: Um, is it Teddy Bear?
fool: No, I’m afraid not…Over to you, The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse…and yes, Death?
Death: Yes
Narrator: Next week we’ll be taking a look at ‘Name That Tune by Braille’ on the BBC’s long wave World Service.
1. How does the tune to the introduction song go?
2. Which Kenny Roger’s hit starts, “On a bar in
3. In which sport is there a piste other than skiing?
4. Who wrote the French Lieutenant’s Woman?
5. Which character was played by Dooley Wilson in
6. Which actor was Ghandi in the 1982 film?
7. Voords, Krotons and Autons have all appeared on which TV series?
8. What is the name
Get all the answers and more in the *Comps & results page – or buzz him, manually, on cf.crazyfool@gmail.com
WHO AM I? – 2009 – It’s been a while, so here’s a refresher: clue No.1 again, “I’m neither American nor contemplating how a long hot summer just passed me by.” And Clue No.2 “I didn’t go solo, nor go back to the States. I just jammed on my own.” - Now, Clue No.3; “I’ll make it easy; I’m neither Paul Weller nor Stuart Copeland!” He was of course Mick Talbot as sent in by the high flying Eagle. Now for a new-un; Clue No.1; “I’ve featured in this slot before and I had a hit with Mony too.”
Is it me?
This is the 2009 Main Comp series - with a sub points tally in brackets for the first answer in: For previous results in the Main Comp – check the *comps and results page.
Scores at the end of week 28 or 29 if we’re strictly going by the Gregorian calendar and due to the fact fool’s missed a week.
For those on speed – keep up!
Dracule: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 (1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1)
Legal Eagle: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 (1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1)
Silent Third Party, formerly known as Quizmaster: 1, 1, 1, 1 (1)
Casualty: zip
Aye: 1 (1)
Others: 1
Quote(s) for the week:
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder; get it out with Optrex
Spike Milligan
*Non-descript trivia moment*
SOME ROMAN DIETIES
Vesta…earth, home
Fortuna…fortune
Faunus…herds
Portunas…harbours
Astraea…justice
fool’s Gold
- ‘Plutoed’ – to demote or devalue something, in honour of Pluto being kicked out of the Solar System for not being a full time planet was voted word of the year in 2006
- Dame Judi Dench’s Oscar winning performance as Queen Elizabeth I in the film Shakespeare in Love lasted just 8 minutes
- Every step uses 54 muscles
Dr. Phil Ology’s word of the week:
“Words, don’t come easy to me, how can I find the way to make you love me, oh words, they don’t come easy…”
This week's word is PURPLE. We all know it is a blend colour, but I've always remembered that in terms of colours,
Things that are really getting on my nose, up my goat and around my wick this week:
Toys aint what they used to be – that’s right me hearties, if they’re not all moulded and shipped from Taiwan, as so much as China these days, the essence of a plastic marine stringed to a plastic ‘chute is enough to keep you amused until the soldier could be whisked away on top of a waiting (completely out of scale) James Bond Aston Martin, which would suffice in keeping the imagination afloat for days, thus creating a sturdiness of appreciation. These days factory sized ‘Toy R us’ shops are fuelled with a quick fix of plastic authenticity, plastic in the sense of fraudulent to the extent that one try out in the innumerable Star Wars masks would last for about five seconds before the sudden realisation sets in that you can’t see what you look like in a mask rendering it totally useless where-by you put it down and revert to the moulded plastic figures of knights on horseback and sabre-toothed tigers; the masks look good on the shelf but shite in their practicality – sling a lump of plastic off the stairs with a handkerchief canopy honed in on a waiting get-away car and you’ve got a mini feature film in your head. The rest of the toys these days are of the same ilk – the plastic diggers with buzzes and Yank ‘construction’ voices saying…
Things that are just Sweet Love:
Airfix models and rowing a boat on a big lump of water with no Yanks saying…
A viewer’s favourite haystacks from
This is another plane:
And now this bit:
Ladies and folk please step aside for cfn's brave, brave sponsors…
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Bootlace: Walking holidays in the Alpujurras,
Not just a walk in the park
Kim Hai Trading Co., LTD: for the best meat available in
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Al Frescos: Take home two pizzas and only pay for one – I ask you – that’s just crazy - every Tuesday at Al’s – make it a date. Check the *classifieds for their new-ish restaurant in
Alibi: Good food, good wine, good beer, come here. It’s in
Don't forget the *classifieds – something for the weekend? - Just a haircut please.
Ok, what’s on in cfn this week?
See; Categories for all that’s on offer, in the meantime fool recommends these:
*Digger; brings forth round 17 and meanders about at round 18
*Trigger: trots on
*cf'’s radio show featuring Digger:
Playing NOW the one with:
Adam and Valerie
Plus all the ‘oldies’: Olda Higden, One Eyed Dog, Risky Red, the long forgotten Christmas show and its Typewriting September predecessor, - new one coming soon - look out for the fish!
*Tit-bits – .../.../…/…/…
*Grub–Up – * New- New – new – NEW! – Brand new menu in crazy fool’s kitchen/café – might have to take it off the menu as I reckon everyone’s about to copy it – last chance to have a look…maybe: – fool still recommends the Gazpacho
*Poetry Corner: ‘Ode to a crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pie’
*NEW...Fishman...NEW...Fishman! – Read all the Fishman’s tails in… On The Pond, April ‘09’ – On the shelves now - may The Dog be with you
v Classifieds
Anyone selling a rowing machine?
*Bongo Massif Bro’s – ‘…gonna shake your world…down …’
Mr. Meaner... come take a trip on the wonder why, come take a slice of my pie -
*crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pies – available from the Blue Gecko & Phatty’s
Packed with lumps and bits and things that went baa and bleat – and other things that didn’t say anything, like the potatoes – lazy gits! They’re wind free too (almost)
Buy six pies and get a free T-shirt; see the full fool’s T-shirt ‘menu’ and choose your shirt!
Plus; every T-shirt sold - $1.00 goes to charity
I’ll need a T-shirt
This bit is the rugby bit:
(See categories for The New
Published 30.7.09
On a perch of turf settled high above the salty wet plains of the Indian Ocean the Boks played their first trump card in the Tri-Nations in
Conrad Smith had the first notion and ran in a superb solo try 8 minutes into the second half, breaking three tackles as he did. However, the Boks continued to drive the mauls, and upset all manners of Kiwi set piece play, with Fourie du Preez controlling things at the base and Pienaar hoisting high ones for Habana to chase.
The Boks held on with the 10 man tactic. Although they did open the try account in the first half with a fine loop from Pienaar who fed De Villiers to saunter through the gap left by Rockokoko out on the left wing. The second half of the game they defended, as the Blacks found their attacking feet but couldn’t break the stoic Bok defence, most notably of Spies and Brussow, on whom Smit cannot pile enough accolade; “He’s (Brussow) a phenomenal find (at this level) and is making a big difference for us and also making it difficult for the opposition.” – That’s good then.
Just when you thought the Blacks might sneak it back at the end Weepu sent a shocking pass that found Juan Smith who passed to Jacque Fourie to finish the game. For all of their tidy work in the final quarter the Blacks will know they let this one slip, as Eyebrows explained; “We thought we might have a bit of a show half way through the second half but we just made too many errors during the game.”
The two sides play again in
21 year old Owen Franks makes his debut start for the injured Neemia Tialatu – the youngest All Black tighthead since Mark Irwin in 1955 – who? – Exactly. And Morning Steyn comes in at 10 for the MB’s, where, and wait for this; the SARU president told PdV he wasn’t allowed to talk anymore, in fact he said, “The assessment committee advised Peter to refrain from statements including the Bible and generally be careful about what he says.” – Did he listen…! In reference to Pienaar’s injury and Morning coming in he said, “There will always be injuries so there’s no use crying about it.” – No, honestly Morning, he rates you!
Habana and Jean de Villiers will win their 50th caps on the weekend. John Smit will take his 60th cap as captain, a world record surpassing George Gregan and Will Carling and the MB’s will win 27 – 19!
Some shorts:
It’s the transfer season all over the globe and someone who’s been missing the rape and pillage in the league code is Tamana Tahu who returns to the Parramata Eels. Robbie Deans didn’t give a fuck; “It comes down to what they want. Personally I wouldn’t chase a player who didn’t want to be in the game.” – I’m sorry that was a typo earlier – please disregard the pillaging.
Juan Martin-Hernandez has up sticks from Stade Francais and gone south to the Natal Sharks, where SF coach Ewen McKenzie described the show down there as, “It’s like a sprint race – it’s only 3 months – I think he will appreciate that. He’ll get an off season.”
Sgt Wilko got 6 points in
Lastly something I wanted to share with you last week in reference to Gregor Townsend’s new signing as
Please write in if you’d like a fight and a pint o’ heavy o’er it.
Some competitions now:
WIN a PRIZE!
John Smit’s XV; films where the villain is played by a Brit –: have some fun and try to name the actor!!! - This particular team will be finished… fool promises! – Only two to get.
If you’re wondering why it’s John Smit’s XV, it’s because he’s the current World Cup winning captain, so we’ve got another three bloody years of him yet!
15. Salom's
There’s a free t-shirt in the post for anyone who can up with the props here – I’m sick of it – ha, ha…nurse… - have received two props recently in Ray Winston and Bob Hoskins, but what films?
end rugby here!
Ok, a willow the wisp of cricket now:
Slashed prices on BBQ’s in England this summer, new designer swim suits breaking all records in Rome and 15 year-old Tom Daley scored a perfect 10 with three twists and a reverse pike in the outfield at Edgbaston.
Rain is on the menu at the 3rd Test, but it hasn’t stopped the war on banter between the old foes. Shane Watson’s got himself in a muddle with how far to go with the gob and admits, “It’s a sticky one because the hardest thing is to be extremely competitive and not cross the line.” – Well, it’s not rocket science is it – call ‘him’ a cunt and see if you get away with it!
Although you’d probably have to say the team looking to contain itself from slinging the soggiest mud would be the English, at the likes of Mitchell Johnson or his mum, who ever’s closest and Phil Hughes, who both have yet to prove their worth.
Of course the Aussies will open an old tin of jelly beans now that KP has got himself burnt by flying too close to the sun in his helium balloon, whilst shot down by cupids arrow in the foot, rendering the Aussies to rear their gob-guns towards the renowned flappable Aussie-facer in Ian Bell.
The 27 year-old will come in at No.4 with a record none too clever against the Aussies, as well he knows, but the man with an average of 25.1 in 10 Tests against the Australians and 40.59 overall says, “I’ve played well apart from against
A different team indeed, which brings us back to the old foes war on banter in the build up to this Test; most of it shite, but the best stemming from Nasser Hussein’s interview with the crock KP and the fear factor or lack of it, he viewed on the current touring party, as Levi picked up on also for further ammo, equating and indeed amassing them to possessing a ‘lack of aura’ – that being there was no Hayden in the gully, no Gilly in the kitchen, no Warne at first slip and no Langer and Punter on back-up gob alert in second slip-slop, as is the case in the field today; Edgbaston’s grounds man Steve Rouse stated on the pitch and the rain, “It’s been a nightmare. We’ve had two days out of ten and the wickets like jelly.” – Should suit
The Punts got himself rattled at this ‘lack of aura’ remark and snared back quick-sharp with, “It’s ok for him to say that now. He wasn’t saying it after we dominated in
Justin Langer by the way, just notched the second highest run scores with Worcester at 28,067 in 615 innings, although it has to be said Don Bradman, whom he pipped got his in 338 innings, which is nothing compared to Surrey and England’s Jack Hobbs who tallied 62, 237 during his career.
Justin 38, said, “One of the guys in the
Lastly, and just a thought; will this be the last Test series before the English elite go freelance? The players union chief Sean Morris said, “Freddy has already made a choice to concentrate on one-day cricket and other players will be making a similar choice. That doesn’t bode well. We want the best players to appear in Test cricket.”
The Kiwi’s boss Justin Vaughan said of their big name players to turn down the lucrative IPL were Daniel Vettori, Brendan McCullum, Kyle Mills, Jacob Oram, Jessie Ryder and Ross Taylor, “Their decision to help to reinforce international cricket as the pinnacle of our sport clearly shows that representing New Zealand remains the biggest motivational factor for our leading players.” – And the fact that they can’t get a game in the IPL.
End of Day 1:
That’s it.
Other sports:
Blimey, where do you start? The Schu coming back into F1 at 40 after Massa sprang a sprung/ Lance Armstrong saddling up to 3rd on the Tour de France podium after not winning a stage, let alone Brit Bradley Wiggins finishing 4th with Cavendish taking 6 sprints/ or what about Asafa Powell calling the British sprinters lazy and finishing 5th at London’s Crystal Palace behind Britain’s Simeon Williamson and Bolt’s win of 9.91 into a headwind…
Na, none of them, not even the talk of Rome’s World Championships new fango-dango swimsuits which are knocking seconds off the world records, even though Brit Gemma Spofforth set a new world 100m backstroke record in 58.12 in a boring old Speedo number. Even Phelps got beat…by a German. That was the first time he’s lost an individual race in four years (200m freestyle).
Nope, the ‘other sports’ story of the week goes to Phil the power Taylor who clinched his 10th World MatchPlay and a £100k prize taking his total earnings in the past 15 months to £1.2m. He said, “I’m getting better and I’m going to improve even more.” And, “No one seems to value how tough it is to keep on winning.” – Yeah, alright Phil, don’t milk it.
And now let’s hear it for the news: Bong, bong, bong:
Walter Kronkite,
Man’s best and trusted friend
If you’d like a plot on the moon why not contact Dennis Hope, who back in 1967 found a loophole in the US legal system that enables Joe Public to lay claim to every planet in our solar system, but obviously not Pluto as it’s too lazy (see fool’s Gold). Dennis, the Yank, as he’s better known, found the loophole in the ’67 Outer Space Treaty which states no government or country can own the planets but doesn’t state individuals. Brits Sue and Francis Williams jumped on the case and through their franchise sell plots at £20 an acre. So far they’ve sold £6m worth and 50 acres this month due to the 40th moon landing anniversary, although 90% goes to Mr. Hope’s US franchise. Go on treat your other half – take her to the Moon or just buy her a bit of it.
You saw the whole of the moon
A couple who were living the high life on cloud nine are now presumed dead. ‘Pirates’ Peter Clarke 49 and Sharon Arthurs-Chagini 46 lived the cocaine and champagne or is it the other way around? – Lived the
Jap bus
By the way 9 out of 10 idiots believe Ben ‘the best in the world’ Southall is a lazy blogger as he’s only written 7 postings on his island off of
Jap bus
Crazy rock n roll capes XXXXXIIIIVVIVI! Amy Winhouse out lives Walter Kronkite – fix!
The world’s oldest man Henry Allingham 113, gone. The next oldest World War I survivor Harry Patch 111, gone – read his book, The Last Fighting Tommy. He fought at
Pakistani bus
Peter Kay corner – very Cooper-esque, but has actually been replaced by Steve Wright: Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark
Pensioner David Grouds 65 from Palm Beach Florida fought off a 7ft alligator after it chomped his dog. The old fella pulled its jaws apart and poked it in the eyes as it dragged his pooch into the water, he said, “I ran straight through the bushes to her. I’d never have got over it if I hadn’t tried to get her free. I’d do it again.” – The dog suffered minor cuts; Dave was admitted for a couple of days and cops shot the gator. – Lest we forget.
Russell Crowe gave £1000 to a charity shop in Sunningdale, Berks the other day where the lady in the shop didn’t recognise him. Russell who’s starring in Ridley Scott’s new Robin Hood film was asked to fill in the donations book and signed it Russell Crowe. No wonder she didn’t recognise him, he was dressed up as Robin.
Robin?
Jens Goth Lieb 36 and Lisa Gruhb 28 parked off the A44 in Westphalia in
It could have course been the French Foreign Legion who have been repeatedly told not to fire incendiary missiles in the summer as scorched summer scrubland burns all too easily. They didn’t listen and during a practise exercise the crack outfit set fire to a small village just outside Marseille. The Mayor Jean-Claude Lauchin said, “I can’t see why military exercises should be carried out in 32°C heat when a strong wind is blowing. It’s incredible stupidity.” – Lest we forget
Lastly, the Italian Prime Minister 72 year-old Silvio Berlusconi has been caught with his pants down bedding 42 year-old brass Patrizia D’Addorio in his official residence. She made a tape of the night and praises him for his ‘performance’ he in turn suggests ‘sex with yourself’ more often. Almost everyone agreed it almost diminishes his chances of a Papal audience.
See you on the dark side
just cf it
cf
Other news
- • 3rd - 9th Feb 2012 v470 - (February, 09th 2012 15:03 PM)
- • 13th - 20th Jan 2012 volume 467 - (January, 19th 2012 12:25 PM)
- • 6th - 12th January 2012 volume 466 - (January, 11th 2012 19:16 PM)
- • 30th dec - 5th jan 2011-12 volume 465 - (January, 05th 2012 12:17 PM)
- • 23rd - 29th December 2011 volume 464 - (December, 28th 2011 12:09 PM)
- • 16th - 22nd Dec 2011 volume 463 - (December, 21st 2011 20:22 PM)
- • 9th – 15th Dec 2011 volume 462 - (December, 14th 2011 22:08 PM)
- • 2nd - 8th December 2011 volume 461 - (December, 07th 2011 21:06 PM)
- • 25th Nov - 1st Dec 2011 volume 460 - (November, 30th 2011 19:26 PM)
- • 18th - 24th November 2011 volume 459 - (November, 23rd 2011 19:32 PM)
