24th - 30th December 2010 volume 412
December, 29th 2010 12:14 PM

 

“It’s a nice day to start again

It’s a nice day for a white wedding

It’s a nice day to start again”

(Billy Idol)

 

 

 

You’re reading crazy fool’s  newsround – the world’s news according to crazy fool all rounded up in a weekly bundle of:

 ‘Play’, quizzes, trivia, sponsors, sport and world news – not necessarily in that order

(fresh edition brought to your doorstep every Friday morning – may contain nuts)

Plus; the radio show – with a new look!

 

Click on this logo in home page – good one this week; local lad – The One With Pat

 

Reporter: crazy fool

 

Published 30.12.10                                           

For 1st Battalion Royal Anglian Regiment

And now let’s hear it for the news: Bong, bong, bong:

Brought to you by

 

 

With this ring I thee fled

A bride has filed for divorce after six months of marriage upon discovering her husband was a woman.

 

The true identity of Minati Khatua from Orissa was unveiled in the bath by Sitakant Routry who claimed not to have consummated the marriage because of a religious ritual endorsed by Minati.

 

“I thought he was devout and respectful of me. But when I walked into the bathroom there was no mistaking that my husband was 100% woman.”

 

Police probing later revealed Sitikant’s dowry consisted of £350 in cash, a car, gold ornaments and their wedding gifts.

 

Minati has since disappeared with the car and a jeep they bought with loans.

 

Murder doesn’t wash

Ann Summers boss Jacqueline Gold has been poisoned by her nanny using screen wash in her food.

 

Jacqueline’s suspicions began when her normally excellent food, prepared by a private chef, tasted either too salty or too sugary and the last straw came when her lobster bisque was inedible.

 

Friend and nanny Alison Cox 33 has been working for Jacqueline, who is the 16th richest woman in the UK worth £180, for several years and has been described as a regular, clean-cut woman carrying no hints of jealousy or desires to conspire her wealth.

 

She was charged with three counts of ‘administering poison with intent to annoy.’

 

On what is clear case of over doing the sauce; the trial of the fishy Basques continues.

 

Meanwhile lingerie firm Gossard has filed record sales following the success of erotic dance film Burlesque, starring Christina Aiguilles and Cher…and well, I thought I had some more on that, but clearly not.

 

fool came across this and could help but share the love – life doesn’t get much sexier!

 

Cannibal in for the chop

Meanwhile cannibal Stephen Griffiths is refusing to eat or drink and has kept up his abstinence for three weeks three days.

 

Prison authorities confirmed he will be dead soon and is legally within his rights to be so, as mentally capable lags are allowed to refuse false feeding.

 

‘Come on…just one wafer thin earlobe…’

 

 

 (Quick sponsor ad before the song that comes in the middle bit)

Crazy rock n roll capes No. XXXXXIIIIVVIVI! ‘Contrary to popular belief that annoying acronym ‘lol’ doesn’t derive from 10cc’s Lol Creme’

 

Take it away the song in the middle bit: (only available on website!)

 

What they’ve recently said: ‘Any idea what the record for wearing the same pair of briefs for the longest period is? I can only claim a measly 2 weeks and 5 days.
 
Who's dissing the boy Dury last week. The worse ever tune on cfn?? Tsk tsk - surely Basil Rathbone's "I do like to be beside the seaside" takes that gong.’

 

Peter Kay corner – very Cooper-esque, except this is a Peter Cook quote, which is a cross between the Kay and Cooper but without the k! – Wrong, all wrong, we’re going back to 2005 and a slice of vocabulary – wrong again, we’ve done a full circle and it’s back to Tommy Cooper, but with some new one’s – keep up! ‘This cowboy walks into a German car showroom and he says, ‘Audi’.’

crazy fool’s Kitchen

 

The Boat Lagoon Marina, Phuket – caters for parties on and off the premises

 

Next event; Saturday 8th January – doors open at 4p.m.

 

Listen to the eclectic live sounds of

 

 Anand Jagota Ensemble

(kick off at 7p.m.)

&

Mysterious legendary guest

 

Come and have a peek

 

 

 

 

Wanna buy a condo?

 

www.highstylecondominium.com

 

 

 

Animal news

 

*Haven’t got any animal news this week but a tenuous link brings us to Elton John, who is currently scoring the music for a musical Animal Farm; anyway he, the said Reg, has become a father at the ripe old age of 63 and he didn’t even have to lift a finger, well, no, he probably did, but it had nothing to do with paying someone to do your shopping for you. Personally have nothing against it, nor does fool condone atheists celebrating Christmas or the Welsh doing the Haka if they really wanted, but this isn’t the rant page, so let’s stop before it starts eh.

 

Number crunching

 

*New Zealand’s military made public their UFO sightings records from 1954-2009 with the most startling fact that one Alien’s shoe size was 440!

 

*As the UK was gripped by one of the coldest Christmas’ on record at -18ºC Granddad Mohammad Bellazrak spent three days driving home from the airport because he couldn’t find his way in the snow.

On the Thursday before Christmas he dropped his wife off at Gatwick after her flight was changed from Heathrow; this disorientated him so much that alerts were sounded by family when he didn’t return. Police finally tracked him on the M4 at 2p.m. Christmas day.

If it had been in Darwin he would have been in a canoe. But he wasn’t.

 

*Hugh Hefner got engaged at the ripe old age of 84. Blushing bride Crystal Harris 23 said it was, ‘a fairy tale dream come true.’ – try the screen wash love.

 

*Plastic surgery dates back to 1597 according to the book De Cortorum Chiugia Per Insitionem, meaning Surgery of Defects by Implantations. It sold in auction for £11k this week and explains in detail, with illustrations, how to transplant skin from the forearm to the nose; which frankly is ridiculous because then you’ll have to replace the forearm skin with a slab of hind then that’ll need covering up with a bit of toe and before too long someone’s going to be missing an earlobe.

 

I’m off – come on Pig

 

Keep it turning, keep it wheel.

 

Just cf it

 

cf

p.s. for the latest news click on crazy fool’s Radio Show – click on red icon – top left of home page – new weekly updated shows Friday afternoon’s – two in the can waiting to be uploaded – another recorded this week – knock yourself out!

 

p.p.s. sport is back – a mild, PotDQT with slight Fras showers!

 

 

 

Jaspas: Marguerite madness on a Friday is pure madness. See them in the *classifieds. There’s more on offer here that meets the eye – look out for their superb long-lunch deals – they’re long, lunchy and superb and they’re in Saigon, Vietnam! Salt ‘n’ pepper steak is a must – glug it down with a splash of Tatachilla Cabinet Shiraz

 

 
 
 

 

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