23rd - 29th sept 2011 volume 451
September, 28th 2011 20:03 PM

“It’s not that he don’t tell the truth

Or even that he misspent his youth”

(Thin Lizzy)


You’re reading crazy fool’s  newsround – the world’s news according to crazy fool all rounded up in a weekly bundle of:

 trivial-o-matic nonsense draped in world news and sport – not necessarily in that order

(fresh edition brought to your doorstep every Friday morning – may contain nuts)

Plus; the radio show – with a new look!

  

Click on fool’s logo in home page – good one this week; – The One With …

Plus listen to and stream live on line at www.radioindochine.com

And catch his A Question of Sport… Of Sorts! Saturday’s 1-2p.m.

 

Reporter: crazy fool

 

Published 29.9.11                                           

For Elements of: 25 Squadron, Royal Air Force Regiment

And now let’s hear it for the news: Bong, bong, bong:

Brought to you by

  www.saigonsoundsystem.com

 

The hitman and her

A hitman faked his victim’s death in eastern Brazil because he fell in love with her.

 

Hired gunslinger Carlos Roberto de Jesus was paid 345 by suspicious wife Maria Nilza Simoes after she suspected her husband of having an affair with Iranildes Aguiar Araijo.

 

However, as soon as Carlos clapped eyes on his ‘client’ it was love at first sight for both parties and so revealed his assignment. They faked her death using two bottles of ketchup and an unconvincing machete lodged under her armpit then sent Maria a photo.

 

Maria was baffled and couldn’t believe the sauce of it when three days later she saw the pair kissing in the small town of Pidonbaca. She then lifted the lid on the case by informing the police that he stole $1000 from her.

 

All three now face charges as police Chief Marconi Lima found the whole episode hard to swallow, ‘In eight years of policing I’ve never seen anything like it.’ He said.


 

Been there, seen that!

Nemanji Petrovic may well be the world’s first invisible beggar.

 

The 42 year-old ply’s his trade in Subotica Serbia where, bored one day, he left his shoes, a cap and a sign and nipped off for half hour, ‘When I returned’, he said, ‘I was astonished to find a crowd and my cap was full of money. Now I just put down the sign, a pair of shoes as a prop and wait for the donations to roll in while I have a coffee over the road.’


 

Rarf out roud

A Vietnamese ‘laughing yoga group’ attracts a couple of hundred participants a day in downtown Hanoi.

 

Instructor Le Anh Son conducts the merriments for 45 minutes a day, which stems from the brain child of 95 year-old Indian Dr Madan katarin who instigated the ‘laughing medicine’ in 6000 clubs across 60 countries.

 

The practise of laughing and yogic breathing stretches the muscles and triggers endorphins offering the feel good factor of comfort and relaxation.

 

The Vietnamese were then told by the street tannoy system to go and have a good day and inform authorities where the dirty foreigner lives so they can pay double on their amenities and that their favourite TV star, Rowan Atkinson is now a has-bean.


 

 (sponsors ad before the song that comes in the middle bit)


49 Mac Thi Buoi Street District 1, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam – probably the best eggs in a clay pot you’ll ever taste

 

Crazy rock n roll capes No. XXXXXIIIIVVIVI! ‘ Laughter is the growling garden gnome that resonates from Bowie’s psyche, and that is just about as far as I got this week… you know, what with one thing and another, so I’ll dip back in time in the fool’s space and continuum box and see what rustles… ok, random dip, and… argh yes; Not getting my head around disambiguation – the uncertain knowledge of knowing. I had hold of it this week but lost it between laps 6 & 7 in the pool and from there the spaghetti bowl of thoughts racing through my cranium hit bolognaise and the mess could only be scooped up with a shovel.  Clearly I haven’t been the same since and in that bubble of confusion smoulders my indecisive decision to quit this rant and watch an episode of ‘Lost’ to see if I can find ‘42’ – Not getting my head around disambiguation – there and in fact that was sent in as a Get It Off My Chest Request from a Buddy who asked me once to rave on… for you Buddy…

 

Take it away the song in the middle bit: (only available on website!)

 

 

What they’ve recently said: ‘When’s the radio show out old boy’ Lesley Philips



P
eter Kay corner – very Cooper-esque, except this is a Peter Cook quote, which is a cross between the Kay and Cooper but without the k! – Wrong, all wrong, we’re going back to 2005 and a slice of vocabulary – wrong again, we’ve done a full circle and it’s back to Tommy Cooper, but with some new one’s – keep up! ‘I’m on a whiskey diets – last week I lost three days.’

 

And now folks…

crazy fool’s

Kitchen 

Presents: crazy fool’s Cottage Pies – 150THB a slab

Fresh or frozen they’ll make you fart


 

Don’t forget t-shirts for sale – as always, $1.00 in every shirt goes to charity

 

There’s always the www.coreyashcroft.co.uk appeal – check it out

 

Don’t forget the classifieds pages – updated weekly


crazy fool’s Kitchen; the home of cold banter, cracking beer and Grrreat live music…

 

Next event to be posted ASAP… probably Sept

… so in the meantime it’s a quick spurt from fool’s sponsors…


www.highstylecondominium.com

Animal news


*Donald ‘Skip’ Sanford went hunting moose in Alaska’s Yellowstone park and was eaten by a bear, well, not all of him, just his head and kidneys, and not all of them, but the 65-year-old ex marine and Vietnam vet managed to get away and walked five miles to board a small boat before being airlifted to safety.

 

*The world’s smallest aquarium holds just two teaspoons of water. The glass container is 30mm wide x 24mm high x 14mm deep and contains two Zebra fish and a couple of rocks and plants. Anatoly Konenko from Omsk Russia made it as part of his micro miniature art collection, which includes writing on grains of rice and hair and the world’s smallest books.

 

Number crunching


 

*Michael Carmichael has put a fresh coat of paint on his baseball everyday for 34 years. It now weighs 250st and has a girth of 70.5 inches – a normal baseball is 9 inches – that’s what 22,894 litres of paint will do to you.

 

*Alcohol tax in the UK is five times higher than Germany at 3.2b compared to a mere 621 million… no, life just isn’t fair.

 

*The largest slice of stilton is 110kg’s (243lb) cut from a block weighing 145kg. Long Clawson Dairy made it in Leicestershire to celebrate their centenary. If you want to try it at home you’ll need 824 litres of full pasteurised cows milk, 1.8kg’s of salt, 190 ml of vegetable rennet (coagulant) and 0.0003g dairy culture – then leave it for 12 weeks.

 

*Chinese man Li Xnen pulled a car 10metres with his ears to celebrate a second hand car event in Zaoshang, which is nothing compared to Wang Lian who back in 2007 pulled a car 200 metres with his ears whilst sat on the back of a motorbike.

 

*The longest wedding veil is 1.8 miles long and took 600 people to carry it. Gianno Molaro designed it for Elena De Angels in Casal di Principe, Naples and said something about it being a symbol of peace, which is nothing compared to three men in LA who are endeavouring to sit through 100 hours of TV this week to raise money for poor Italian children in the community as organised by a group who like San Gennaro because he is the patron saint of Naples.

 

*Only one in five children in the UK can tie a reef knot – pretty much the same know how to repair a bicycle flat tyre. Only 17% can identify a star constellation using a telescope and only a quarter of the 8-15 year old’s would know how to make and fly a kite – what is the world coming to?

 

I’m off – come on Brutus

 

Keep it turning, keep it wheel.

 

Just cf it

 

cf

p.s. if you’re having trouble reading this because you are blind, why not try cf’s audio version of crazy fool’s Radio Show – click on red icon – top left of home page

 

 

 


 

Other news