Crazy Fool's Newsround - 23rd - 29th Oct 09 volume 352

23rd - 29th Oct 09 volume 352
October, 28th 2009 18:24 PM

‘Play’, quizzes, trivia, sponsors, sport and world news – it’s all in

crazy fool’s newsround

in that order

(fresh edition brought to your doorstep every Friday morning – may contain nuts)

Plus the radio show – with a new look!

That was the week weren’t it;

The scene: fool is cooking for Mrs Doufries, the famous spy, car mechanic, egg layer, type writing speed champion of 1922-to present and before, philanthropist, car mechanic, oops, said that and ventriloquist, he’s cooking toad in the hole at their beach side resort in Guadalupe, except Toad won’t keep still and keeps complaining that the oil is too hot…

Mrs Doufries: So, fool, (she spouts very matron-esque, sucking on an unlit Raleigh chalk tipped cigarette, the one with the red-dyed tip. It bobs frantically, snuggled in it’s ivory holder, which has been whittled from and by an aged elephant as it made it’s lonesome death walk into the savannah graveyard – she’d known Eric since it was a baby orphan and indeed many a night did the jumbo suckle on her ample bosom and she sing him a lullaby, now all she could do was spin the plump oyster beads of her necklace furiously in front of her flat recoiled chest, oh, how she yearned for bosoms again. In doing so she stepped a hap-to-shift Charleston dance to Jim Morrison’s subtonic tones as it drifted through crazy fool’s Radio Show’s airwaves and onto the naturally illuminated sausage in Toad’s Yorkshirean batter, well, as natural as the 11w energy saving Daylight PL tube could get, which, incidentally is available at most chemists and hardware stores catering for most haberdashery needs... Somewhere a toad yelped.)… So, fool (she spouted…

Narrator: Is this going to take long fool? Only we’ve got a show to do. In fact, would you believe it, look at that, times up already. And now folks it’s time for…dun, dun, dun…the quiz…

1. Is it a frog or a toad that has teeth?

2. What is a pommel a part of?

3. Which British all male bastion allowed women members for the first time in September 1998?

4. What is the popular name for the anaesthetic nitrous oxide?

5. In which year did Marc Bolan die?

6. What is made up of the minor arcane and the major arcana?

7. How many pecks are there in a bushel?

8. If someone is peregrinating, what are they doing? A) Swooping down on something B) Travelling from place to place C) Complaining about something

Get all the answers and more in the *Comps & results page – or buzz him, manually, on cf.crazyfool@gmail.com

WHO AM I? – 2009 – Eager to spread the lead with offerings of Rattus Norvegicus were deemed null and void last week, as it was wrong, so hurriedly round two now climbs into this week’s scene: But first, a glance back at No.1 again…No.1, “Loosely a rat I was on the beaches when the Stranglers noticed me!” & No. 2, “I think I’m mentioned somewhere in this week’s quiz!”

Is it me?

This is the 2009 Main Comp series - with a sub points tally in brackets for the first answer in: For previous results in the Main Comp – check the *comps and results page.

Scores at the end of week 40 or 41 if we’re strictly going by the Gregorian calendar and due to the fact fool’s missed a week.

For those who like ones; one’s and brackets and LZ:

Dracule: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 (1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1)

Legal Eagle: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 (1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 + 1 bonus point)

Hannibal Lecherure: the song remains the same (LZ):

Silent Third Party, formerly known as Quizmaster: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 (1, 1)

Casualty: zip

Aye: 1 (1)

Others: 1

Quote(s) for the week:

Well, we can’t stand around here doing nothing. People will think we’re workmen

Spike Milligan

*Non-descript trivia moment*

CARRY ON FILMS

Carry On…

Sergeant…1958

Teacher…1959

Nurse…1959

Constable…1960

Regardless…1961

fool’s Gold

Dave Cornthwaite skateboarded 3,638 miles across Australia, covering 38 miles a day, for charity

Clint Eastwood wore the same boots in TV series Rawhide as for the Western film Unforgiven more than 30 years later

Tennis star Monica Seles’ name is an anagram of ‘camel noises’

Dr. Phil Ology’s word of the week:

“Words, don’t come easy to me, how can I find the way to make you love me, oh words, they don’t come easy…”

This week’s "word", is actually rather the lack of words in the English language where there should be. Isn't it odd that English doesn't have words for the German 'vorgestern' [the day before yesterday] and 'ubermorgen' [the day after tomorrow]?

Things that are really getting on my nose, up my goat and around my wick this week:

Fans. I am overwhelmingly, no tosh, I am indignantly at one’s tether’s end, with the throwback ideology of having cake and not being able to eat it. When the air is thick and moist with a dank and enveloping velvet vapour that clings to the very soul of function, the very purpose of recursive routine, the everyday lubrication of performance and operation then why oh why does a fan have such failing inadequacies compared to the common Air Con? The Empire EC2005, with its Health Care Air Cooling Super Ionizer is undoubtedly a far cry from employing some navvy disguised as a plant pot and fanning its sprawled leaves in a fashion to create a gentle gust, but that is not possible as twice he has fallen asleep and I know he’s there, he’s not ‘invisible’ at all, I know because the leaves and stems are withered where I haven’t watered the rubber plant for four weeks and I can see the insolent lad curled up in his bony unfed frame as he catches another sneaky 40 winks – a carefully projected pen should do the trick – the Pental Energel 0.7 should be hefty enough – ‘and oi, I want that back.’ And then there’s the noise of the Empire? It drones like a giant humming bird on steroids, and sure it has lower and quieter settings, but they’re only there to make you paranoid, to make you feel like you can just about here it, and to wonder when it is about to attack like a creeping Cato escaped from Pink Panther’s lair. Then there’s the actual function, which as far as I can tell is to either whisk all your paper work off on a Dorothy adventure or once you do have it strategically placed and weighted it is meant to just, say, sufficiently cool your left thigh, whilst the rest of the body is as clammy as a politicians handshake. I’ve had enough; I’m going to stare over the next door neighbour’s fence till they let me in their swimming pool. Fans - Bastards!

Things that are just Sweet Love:

All the fans that managed to grit through their teeth and respond to fool’s somewhat complicated survey he sent out to the mailing list last week, which as you’ll notice is still there. He was as chuffed as Mrs Doufries’ toad in the hole. He will now lend the opportunity for non-subscribers to answer the three simple questions – 1) Do you read this? 2) Yes? 3) No? ‘…every where I look around…and I don’t know if I’m being foolish…I don’t know if I’m being wise…but there’s something that I must believe in…and it’s there when I look in your eyes…’

A viewer’s favourite haystacks from Bosnia – has finished – this week we are going to look at this:

This is another plane, err helicopter:

And now this bit:

Ladies and folk please step aside for cfn's brave, brave sponsors…

Pacharan Tapas & Bodega: bodega, oh baby when you dance like that… Sangria, mojito’s, plenty, plenty, plenty of wine and beer; Plus, The best Spanish cuisine in Saigon this side of Spain - Which is just to the right of Vietnam Cracking live music too. – I hear things are Bacardi Loco!

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Have you had yours today?

GTM: Probably the best set of garden and leisure furniture in the world. See the *classified section under business opportunities for more details.

Bootlace: Walking holidays in the Alpujurras, Sierra Nevada, Spain. www.bootlace.com and Prices and dates 2009
Not just a walk in the park

Kim Hai Trading Co., LTD: for the best meat available in Vietnam email: info.kimhai@media.net.vn for a full listing

Jaspas: Marguerite madness on a Friday is pure madness. See them in the *classifieds. There’s more on offer here that meets the eye – look out for their superb long-lunch deals – they're long, lunchy and superb and they're in Saigon, Vietnam! Salt ‘n’ pepper steak is a must – glug it down with a splash of Tatachilla Cabinet Shiraz – you can’t hide forever Jim!

Al Frescos: Take home two pizzas and only pay for one – I ask you – that’s just crazy - every Tuesday at Al’s – make it a date. Check the *classifieds for their new-ish restaurant in Saigon, Vietnam – is it nearer to you?

www.alfrescosgroup.com

Alibi: Good food, good wine, good beer, come here. It’s in Saigon – they have five big flat screen TV’s – pretty good to catch all your sport on; plus, plenty of boogieing to their live music and party nights

Don't forget the *classifieds – something for the weekend? - Just a haircut please.

Ok, what’s on in cfn this week?

See; Categories for all that’s on offer, in the meantime fool recommends these:

*Digger; still on that footy trip

*Trigger: on the weekend’s hoof and look out for Mondays Melbourne Cup tips

*cf'’s radio show featuring Digger:

Playing NOW the one with:

Adam and Valerie

Plus all the ‘oldies’: Olda Higden, One Eyed Dog, Risky Red, the long forgotten Christmas show and its Typewriting September predecessor, - new one coming soon - look out for the fish!

*Tit-bits – .../…A 75 year-old lady…/……/…/…/…

*Grub–Up – * New- New – new – NEW! – Brand new menu in crazy fool’s kitchen/café – see poetry corner – nuff said

*Poetry Corner: ‘Ode to a crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pie’

*NEW...Fishman...NEW...Fishman! – Read all the Fishman’s tails in… On The Pond, April ‘09’ – On the shelves now - may The Dog be with you

*Classifieds

Ok, forget the rowing machine – House for rent; District 1 HCMC – contact the fool!

*Bongo Massif Bro’s – ‘…tuning up as we speak …’

Mr. Meaner... come take a trip on the wonder why, come take a slice of my pie -

*crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pies – available from the Blue Gecko

Packed with lumps and bits and things that went baa and bleat – and other things that didn’t say anything, like the potatoes – lazy gits! They’re wind free too (almost)

Buy six pies and get a free T-shirt; see the full fool’s T-shirt ‘menu’ and choose your shirt!

Plus; every T-shirt sold - $1.00 goes to charity

I’ll take a T-shirt

This bit is the rugby bit:

Published 29.10.09

Ble ydy side-burns? Asks JPR

Yes, back by popular demand, well, Cyril from finance said he enjoyed it, so here again with many ado is a rugby result round-up followed by some shorts…

Guinness Premiership

London Irish out mauled ye olde mauler Leicester 18-12, and the best mauler of the lot was back on the scene in ‘Mad Dog’ Moody. / Worcester went down 22-26 to Quins thanks to an early try from Danny Care, who’s looking for another bite of England’s No.9 jersey. Jim Staples and Frankie Croxford did not play. / Bath suffered yet another early defeat, at the hands of Newcastle this time, who in turn got their first win of the season. / Northampton continued to lighten their dark horse with a steady win over Sale 21-6. Shane Geraighty, Ben Foden and Dylan Hartley all claimed national stakes there. / Gloucester, Gloucester, Gloucester, what the f*&k….are you doing? Widely tipped for greatness this season, they haven’t shown it yet. Mike Tindall said he was embarrassed watching from the sidelines. Wasps nailed them 35-6 thanks to tries from Waldouck, Betsen and Van Gisbergen, who’s Dutch, but double-Dutch, not real Dutch. / Saracens continued their winning ways with a 21-15 trump over Leeds. Yet, Borthwick still called a crisis meeting after the game to iron out some Sarrie complacencies!

In a recent poll Richard Hill was voted the world’s best blindside flanker in the Greatest Ever XV

Top 14

As Biarritz rested players Toulouse scalped them 23-3. / Montpellier did the same to Clermont’s 2^nd string, which started with a brilliant try from Grant Rees then was a question of holding on after wave after wave of attack. / Toulon whopped Bourgoin 46-28 in a nine try fest, with Sgt. Wilko’s the pick of the bunch through a kick and gather. / Montauban made sure that Albi stayed firmly rooted at the bottom with a second half try from Antoine Burban to finish it 20-6. / And Brive must continue to ask where all that pre-season cash went as they lost another – this time to Racing Metro 92 – 10-18. / Perpignan pipped Stade Francais with penalties at the end but not before SF scored a cracker through Beauxis to Bergamasco, onto Guilleme Bousses and finished by Hugo Southwell. Perps got one back from Maxime Mermoz, who should not to be confused with Medard who still, incidentally, has JPR Williams’ side-burns.

Zinzan Brooke is the No.8 in the Greatest Ever XV

Magners League:

Stephen Jones’ late replacement Rhys Priestland booted Scarlets 18-3 clear of rivals Dragons. / Glasgow whopped Connaught 34-20 where Jim Staples did not play. The Evans brothers did though and each got a try, Thom got two, and don’t go looking for an ‘as’, it’s not there. Fionn Carr got one back for Connaught and again, don’t bother looking for the ‘a’. / Edinburgh held on for dear life as Munster threw everything at ‘em. Double-Dutchman Jean de Villiers put pay to any try the Scots were thinking of when he tackled real Dutchman Tim Visser. The double-Dutchman then helped Wallace over for a close quarter try but they couldn’t seal the late deal and the Scots won 12-7. / Ulster had a similar euphoric win over Leinster 16-14 where Isaac Boss’ try notched it. / Martyn Williams was back in action for Cardiff Blues and more than helped their win over Ospreys 20-12. Tom Jones gathered Australian Sam Norton-Knight’s grub for the Blues’ try, with Tommy Bowe and Jerry Collins taking consolation tries home to Osprey-land.

Greatest Ever XV No.4 Lock: Martin Johnson

ANZ Cup

Southlands re-took the Ranfurly Shield after 50years of trying, by beating Canterbury 9-3 in the ANZ. Prop and Captain Jamie McKintosh said, “I don’t think we understand what we’ve done, but it’s pretty special.” And so are props / They’ve reached the semi’s is what they’ve done, along with Wellington who got rid of Tasman 22-14 and Hawkes Bay, I think and …is it Counties Manaku the other one?

Some shorts:

As we gear up to the November Tests injuries are continuing to grab the headlines, England’s are becoming farcical as practically half the first choice team are unavailable. The latest to limp off; Julian White and Nick Easter. But good news for them is ‘Mad Dog’ Moody and Steve Thompson are back in the groove, along with new lads to look out for in Courtney Lawes on the flank and Blaze in the engine room.

Wales aren’t fairing much better on the wounded stakes, but stay relatively intact, although missing Adam Jones, Lee Byrne and Mike Philips isn’t funny, well, not if you’re Welsh! They have one new lad in the ranks in Dragons flanker Dan Lydiate, and that’s as far as Warren Gatland is looking, as in he’s keeping it in the Celtic leagues, as he reckons the Guinness Premiership this year is shite. In fact he says it’s the ‘weakest’ he’s seen since he’s been in the UK. But then GP boss Mark McCafferty reckons that’s sour grapes because Sale will not release Dwayne Peel for their Nov 7^th clash with the All Blacks. – Argh, sports politics eh, where would we be without it? Down the pub discussing it.

Ireland have their usual suspects plus nine new recruits in their 39 man squad. And as for Scotland – fuck knows, but going off the latter end of last year’s form and the current teams in the Heineken and Magners league then they could upset a few bookies.

France are happy to say, ‘hee-haw, hee-haw’ a lot and purse their lips; from that Marc Lievremont managed to get that Bastreaud to make a public apology for his drunken episode in New Zealand earlier in the year where he claimed he was mugged, raped and shot at by armed guerrillas. Although it has appeased the French hierarchy somewhat, he’ll still not take part in these games. Nor will Lional Beauxis as he’s broken his hand. But new lads Benjamin Fall, Antoine Burban, Alexandre Lapandry and Luc Ducalon probably will, but you never know…because they are French.

But to hell with the knockers and begrudgers, we’ve got a game on this weekend – New Zealand v Australia in Tokyo. The Bledisloe might be a dead rubber, but no-one’s telling them.

The Git may have earned the players player of the year but he looks likely to start at 12 and Berrick in the fly half slot. O’Connor makes way for Adam Ashley-Cooper at fullback and Ryan Cross starts for the injured Mortlock, with a revitalised Peter Hynes on the wing

MacAlistair is the only injury for New Zealand but that doesn’t upset the cradle too much as Conrad Smith and Ma’Nonu seem adequate enough (understatement of the year).

The Wallabies are on course for some retribution and are geared up for a huge tour. This game will be no exception as Deans states; “These are two proud nations, and the players are proud to be putting on their national jerseys. I am sure that will reflect in their performance.”

Having said that; fool says: New Zealand 28-21 Australia – and don’t believe what the New Zealand public is saying about rugby being at an all time low in Kiwi-land and too many games have stolen its prestige – this will be a ripper.

Bet now for MacGeechan being in charge for the Lions tour of Australia in 2013 – say either ‘yes, I bet he will’ or ‘No, I bet he won’t’ and I’ll work out the odds from there.

Some competitions now:

WIN a PRIZE!

John Smit’s XV; films where the villain is played by a Brit –: have some fun and try to name the actor!!! - This particular team will be finished… fool promises! – Only two to get.

If you’re wondering why it’s John Smit’s XV, it’s because he’s the current World Cup winning captain, so we’ve got another three bloody years of him yet!

15. Salom's Lot 14. Robin Hood 13. The Patriot 12. The Great Race 11. Pink Panther 10. Day of the Jackal 9. Silence of the Lambs 8. Braveheart 7. Lord Voldahart or as fool thinks it; Lord Vodaphone 6. Die Hard 5. Dracula (Any with Christopher Lee) 4. Bramstokers Dracula 3. ? 2. Snake from the Simpsons 1. ?

There’s a free t-shirt in the post for anyone who can up with the props here – I’m sick of it – ha, ha…nurse… - have received two props recently in Ray Winston and Bob Hoskins, but what were the films?

end rugby here!

Ok, a willow the wisp of cricket now:

Hyderabad, was it, really?

I don’t think so. It cracked all the satisfying hallmarks of a particularly stubborn Brazilian once the chest, monkey and walnuts had been disposed of and were sent back in their shells on their merry way, to deal with the mandatory pickings of one day almonds, and the five-day bunch that are of Macadamia proportions – to which having written it and re-read it have absolutely no idea what it means.

So let’s move along the bus…

To; T&T’s rampaging success in taming the Cape Cobra by 7 wickets in the semi’s of the Champions League. They were helped along through the masterful and dizzy strokes of Bravo and Ganga at 58 and 44 a respectful piece.

However, it was a shame their avant-garde qualities were rumbled by 41 runs to an all round deadly response from the Victorian Blue in the final as the Aussie outfit reached an unprecedented 159 total with measurable ease.

Captain Blue, Tom Cobber an’ all, Simon Katich extolled the virtues of such a competition; “It’s invaluable for our young guys, some of the under 20’s are playing in front of 30,000 people. It’s been a brilliant experience.”

He also praised Lee’s 48 and Stephen Smith’s 33, along with the big bundle of winners $2.5m in cash. Meanwhile Darren Ganga sat back and took it all in his stride, “It was a good run for us, but we didn’t really come through in this final.”

However, he did say that he’d bring himself for Christmas as long as they got the Red Stripe in. They agreed and to celebrate The Punts hit 74 with Tim Paine shoving 50, White 51 and Hussy 73 at Vadadora and chips, to win a pulsating last minute scramble over India by four runs, despite Gambhir’s 68 and Singh’s 49.

Nevertheless, Gambhir was back in action on Wednesday at Nagpur to hit 76 of his own and help a fourth wicket stand of 119 which propelled MS Dhoni to 124 off 107 balls and rack an almost sublime total of 354-7, which rattled Australia’s posting by 99 runs.

So, 1-1 that stands and if you’re at all interested Zimbabwe beat The Bangles in Dhaka by five wickets, with Elton Chigumburra taking three wickets and hitting 60 runs. Chama Chibhabha and Kyle Jarvis took two wickets a piece each. Jangabamba Michael didn’t play!

On Blighty’s shores Harmy has signed that £600k four year Durham deal, but says his Ashes days are not over yet; “If I knew it wasn’t possible for me to go to Australia I would come out and retire for the sake of everybody.” – Who cares? There’s a whole year of cricket before then. I’m done. I’m getting cranky

That’s it for this week

Other sports:

As Valentino Rossi – The Doctor, won his 9^th World title and 7^th MotoGP in Malaysia last week Andre Agassi blamed his crystal meth taking on his assistant ‘Slim’.

In his new book, ‘Open’ Andre reveals all and tells of his shame and desperation back in ’97 when his game was slipping and he had chick troubles. Well, he’s just lost to Pistol Pete Sampras in three straight sets in a old cronies game and he’s got no hair and ear rings – what’s it going to be now Andre – crack with a morphine sulphate chaser! – Find out – read his book. - I want advertising fees Agassi.

And now let’s hear it for the news: Bong, bong, bong:

I’m getting really uppity about the sudden resurgence of re-writing the common sense book lately. It’s as if some new age do-gooding leftorite has come up with an antidotal squeeze on anything history has ever taught us and taken full-blown credit, yankee-doodle-dandy style and made the whole world their own, which apparently started about tea-time last Tuesday…I’m sorry, the goat rant has been and gone…here is the, impartial, news:

Boffs at the Royal Society of Chemistry have come up with the perfect recipe for gravy, see what I mean; the joint goes on a bed of onions, carrots and celery, feel free to punch me in the face any time, then to the juices add flour, salt, the vegetable water, some crazy cats go for a cup of soya sauce here. I know, you’re blown away aren’t you. John Emsley got paid to tell us that gravy recovers the proteins, minerals and vitamins from a Sunday roast and, “It also can be used to provide other essential minerals such as iodine which is needed for key hormones and for the brain.” – What about if I wanted a roast on a Monday eh John? Didn’t think about that one did you.

Plenty of gravy

Alternatively the Eastern Crowned Warbler has made a rare visit to Britain’s shores recently. In fact it’s his first visit to the UK. The bird which usually flaps around China and Indonesia has only had four recorded sightings in Europe since 1843. Probably hundreds of them before then, they’re not stupid. This one is up in Newcastle. Christmas is coming and the Warbler’s getting fat, please put a penny in the old man’s hat.

Bloody fans

Where’s Wally? No-one knows. Well actually Martin Blackwell does. He wanted to get together a world record of Where’s Wally characters in Great Yarmouth UK after New York topped 1053 earlier this year. Martin managed to gather 901 after selling 1,200 costumes online and at his book shop for a cut down £5.00 a costume. So where did the other, 1, 2, 3, …makes 100…plus the 53…where did the others go? It turned out that some buggers were buying the lot and selling them on eBay for £30 a pop. You can’t trust anybody these days can you. 1053 minus the 900, plus the one…

In particular don’t trust a man with balloons. Yak Song Dong 46 had 14 geckos in boxes tied to his legs and 10 snakes in balloons taped to his chest as he went through customs from Denmark to Norway. Suspicions were aroused when they found a live tarantula in his bag.

The same thing happened to some Vietnamese bloke who smuggled 13 rare song birds in his suitcase all the way to LA – you try singing for 24 hrs! – ‘What singing. It’s me…see…’

Retired bank manager John Lynch 78 from Apsley Hants UK is the world’s most pierced being. He’s got 241 studs and 150 rings in his head and neck. He also admits to having a few bits and bobs on his knob. – Do you know the difference between a bit and a bob? Write in and let us know. You can get a free plug.

Not so careless with their bits n bobs are Mike Howard and Margaret Pate who have got a nude B&B. Not so new you may say, but this is on their farm in, wait for it, Stoke-on-Trent UK. It’s not to warm there, but as they say fully clothed guests can join the orgy err Swedish massage and hot-tub it provides too. Mike says, “People love it. It’s great to walk naked. We’ve been naturists for a long time.” – Go on, I’m feeling frugal; come and tell us about any naturist experiences you’ve had, down on LoretoFest’s crazy fool’s Radio Show in the Farmhouse on 28^th November and you could win a prize.

Crazy rock n roll capes No. XXXXXIIIIVVIVI! ‘The Farm’s ‘All Together Now’ hit in 1990 was originally recorded on a farm in Stole-on-Trent and called ‘In The All-together Now’.

Not likely to be found on a farm is a 60ft sea monster discovered in Charmouth Dorset. The 15 tonne, hey, what’s the difference between a ton and a tonne? This 15 tonne Pliosaur outstripped its previous contester by 10ft, which was found in the Arctic. Kevan Sheehan who found the old bones said, “I was always jealous of other people’s finds. Now I can say, ‘that’s not a fossil – this pliosaur…now that’s a fossil’”. – He can also say thanks very much for the £10k cheque he got from Dorset’s county Museum for paying him to display it.

Peter Kay corner – very Cooper-esque, but has actually been replaced by Steve Wright: “When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.”

Ok, talking of snakes wrapped in balloons…were we! Damien Ankarah 28, spent 16 days refusing to go to the toilet in Swansea, not because he didn’t like Swansea, but because when he finally did go he released five condoms full of heroin worth £3,200. Detectives said he had, ‘some determination.’

A New Zealand primary school teacher who works in Australia dubbed ‘Lexy’ – her, not Australia, has been suspended for posing nude and topless, was no real need to mention topless was there, in Penthouse. Rachael White, alias ‘Lexy’ said, “I’d love to get into modelling. I’ve written erotic stories for an R-rating magazine and run my own pole dancing studio.” – Her boyfriend Stephen Crow, who’s a pornographer, I’m not really sure what that means, says, “She’s really surprised it caused so much grief.” – Yeah, can’t imagine it. That staffroom must have been excellent, Lexy forever telling you to ‘grow up’…and ‘get over it’. Anyway, she’s in the proverbial ‘can’ till Peter Lid of the Teacher’s Council decides when it is or isn’t grey matter, as he describes here, “What is private and what is public is always a grey area but when they intersect we investigate.” – Lift it Peter.

Ok, lastly, curvy women are better in bed – 89% of men said so, as is it vice-versa according to 68% of women. The poll by bed maker Silentnight said, yep, you’ve guessed it, they ‘try harder’.

So, Lexy, how did you go about choosing your name…do you do films…would you like to visit the farm…how many times can…

just cf it

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