20th - 27th aug 09 v342
August, 19th 2009 18:01 PM

“Deep in the bosom of the gentle night

Is when I search for the light

Pick up my pen and start to write

I struggle, fight dark forces

In the clear moon light

Without fear…insomnia

I can’t get no sleep”

 (Faithless)

 

‘Play’, quizzes, trivia, sponsors, sport and world news – it’s all in

crazy fool’s  newsround

in that order

(fresh edition brought to your doorstep every Friday morning – may contain nuts)

 

Plus the radio show – with a new look!

 

That was the week weren’t it;

 

The scene: Somewhere in a fish bowl

 

Fish: Can’t get no sleep? Na, me neither

 

Narrator: That was The Kid, The Fish, The fool in Some Where a Dinner is Served next week: Afters…No One Can Hear You Scream!

 

Glued…literally

 

1.  What was the name of the film where Al Pachino had insomnia?

 

2.  Which team did David Beckham play for when he married Victoria?

 

3.  A leveret is a young what?

 

4.  What colour is umber?

 

5.  Who starred in the first talkie movie?

 

6.  In France all motorways begin with which letter of the alphabet?

 

7.  Where is the Bay of Rainbows?

 

8.  What group of islands used to be known as the Spice Islands? A) The West Indies B) The Philippines C) The Moluccas

 

Get all the answers and more in the *Comps & results page – or buzz him, manually, on cf.crazyfool@gmail.com 

 

WHO AM I? – 2009 – Obviously a bit tricky this one, so I’ll give you a second clue…thicky’s! But first a re-cap of Clue No.1; “Associated with Brighton I wrote the rock on which it rolled!” – Clue Numero dos; “But my best was a subdued cousin.”

 

Is it me?

 

This is the 2009 Main Comp series - with a sub points tally in brackets for the first answer in: For previous results in the Main Comp – check the *comps and results page.

 

Scores at the end of week 31 or 32 if we’re strictly going by the Gregorian calendar and due to the fact fool’s missed a week.

 

 

For those who are dyslexic, who is leading the scoreboards, at a glance?

 

Dracule: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 (1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1)

 

Legal Eagle: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 (1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1)

 

Hannibal Lecherure: the song remains the same (LZ):

 

Silent Third Party, formerly known as Quizmaster: 1, 1, 1, 1 (1)

 

Casualty: zip

 

Aye: 1 (1)

 

Others: 1

 

Quote(s) for the week:

My aunt used to say, “What you can’t see can’t hurt you.” Well, she died of radiation poisoning a few months ago.

Harry Hill

 

*Non-descript trivia moment*

 

            SOME ROMAN DIETIES

 

Aquilo…north wind

Bellona…war

Discordia…strife, discord

Flora…spring

Mors…death

 

 


fool’s Gold

 

  • Only 1% of the world’s water supply is usable; 97% is in the ocean and 2% is frozen

 

  • The shortage name for a bridge over the Thames is kew

 

  • Flamingos can live for up to 80 years

 

 

Dr. Phil Ology’s word of the week:

 

“Words, don’t come easy to me, how can I find the way to make you love me, oh words, they don’t come easy…”

 

Things that are really getting on my nose, up my goat and around my wick this week:

Lack of fucking sleep dumkorfs

 

Things that are just Sweet Love:

The smell of putty

 

A viewer’s favourite haystacks from Bosnia – has finished – this week we are going to look at this:

 

 

This is another plane:

 

 

 

 

 

And now this bit:

 

 

Ladies and folk please step aside for cfn's brave, brave sponsors…

 

Pacharan Tapas & Bodega: bodega, oh baby when you dance like that… Sangria, mojito’s, plenty, plenty, plenty of wine and beer; Plus, The best Spanish cuisine in Saigon this side of Spain - Which is just to the right of Vietnam Cracking live music too. – I hear things are Bacardi Loco!

 

 

www.9dragons.asia

I’ll give it 6 out of 5

GTM: Probably the best set of garden and leisure furniture in the world. See the *classified section under business opportunities for more details.

 

 

Bootlace: Walking holidays in the Alpujurras, Sierra Nevada, Spain. www.bootlace.com and Prices and dates 2009
Not just a walk in the park

 

Kim Hai Trading Co., LTD:   for the best meat available in Vietnam email: info.kimhai@media.net.vn for a full listing

 

 

 

Jaspas: Marguerite madness on a Friday is pure madness. See them in the *classifieds. There’s more on offer here that meets the eye – look out for their superb long-lunch deals – they're long, lunchy and superb and they're in Saigon, Vietnam! Salt ‘n’ pepper steak is a must – glug it down with a splash of Tatachilla Cabinet Shiraz

 

 

Al Frescos: Take home two pizzas and only pay for one – I ask you – that’s just crazy - every Tuesday at Al’s – make it a date. Check the *classifieds for their new-ish restaurant in Saigon, Vietnam – is it nearer to you?

www.alfrescosgroup.com

 

Alibi: Good food, good wine, good beer, come here. It’s in Saigon – they have five big flat screen TV’s – pretty good to catch all your sport on; plus, plenty of boogieing to their live music and party nights

 

 

 

Don't forget the *classifieds – something for the weekend? - Just a haircut please.

 

 

Ok, what’s on in cfn this week?

See; Categories for all that’s on offer, in the meantime fool recommends these:

 

*Digger; stuck in traffic with Trigger today

*Trigger: see above

 

 

*cf'’s radio show featuring Digger:

 Playing NOW the one with:

Adam and Valerie

Plus all the ‘oldies’: Olda Higden, One Eyed Dog, Risky Red, the long forgotten Christmas show and its Typewriting September predecessor, - new one coming soon - look out for the fish!

 

*Tit-bits – .../…/…Tour de France…/…The morning after the office party…/…

 

*Grub–Up – * New- New – new – NEW! – Brand new menu in crazy fool’s kitchen/café – see poetry corner – had one yesterday after a 6 week lay-ff… beautiful

 

*Poetry Corner: ‘Ode to a crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pie’

 

*NEW...Fishman...NEW...Fishman! – Read all the Fishman’s tails in… On The Pond, April ‘09’ – On the shelves now - may The Dog be with you

 

v  Classifieds

Seriously, anyone selling a rowing machine?

 

*Bongo Massif Bro’s – ‘…gonna shake your world…down …’

 

Mr. Meaner...  come take a trip on the wonder why, come take a slice of my pie -

 

*crazy fool’s Shepherd’s Pies – available from the Blue Gecko & Phatty’s

 

Packed with lumps and bits and things that went baa and bleat – and other things that didn’t say anything, like the potatoes – lazy gits! They’re wind free too (almost)

Buy six pies and get a free T-shirt; see the full fool’s T-shirt ‘menu’ and choose your shirt!

Plus; every T-shirt sold - $1.00 goes to charity

 

I’ll need a T-shirt

 

This bit is the rugby bit:

 

(See categories for The New Rugby extra Bit)

 

Published 20.8.09

 

No Tests to wrap up this week, which is the first time in what feels like an eon. So it’s straight into this:

 

The Top14 – the season’s open;

Toulon kicked off a hearty leveller with Stade Francais, coming in at 22 a piece. Sgt. Wilko looked to have sealed it with a drop goal nine minutes to go but the Parisians, MB scrum half Falie Oelschig out-dropped the maestro with one of his own in the ‘death’ minute. Tries from Stade’s Argentinean No.8 Juan Lezuizamon and Toulon’s flanker Thomas Sourice helped along the draw at the Stade Felix Mayol. – For a point what was the Aussie’s name who dropped a goal in the 2003 World Cup final?

 

The rest: Montauban just lost out to Toulouse 16-17 by a late Patricio Albacete try and an Elisalde conversion / Biarittz took a surprise beating from Castres 12-24 / Newcomers Albi went down to newcomers Racing Metro 92 – 13-19, with English man Dan Scarborough sneaking the only try. He was helped along by Lionel Nallet and Chabal in the powerhouse / In the game of the weekend Bourgoin lost out to Clermont 28-37. Irregularities in player’s licenses saw 14 Bourgoin players not allowed to play minutes before kick-off. Fijian Napolini Nalaga scored two of Clerm’s tries. / Perp’s beat Bayonne 28-20 with David Mele hitting five penalties and Laharrague dropping a goal. One try a piece saw Gerber battle to get one over for Perp’s and Battle to sneak one for Bayonne – confused? Good. / Lastly Brive outclassed Montpellier 30-9.

 

In the Air New Zealand Cup:

Manawatu hoisted one over on Southland 25-23 in Invercargill. Manawatu were 20-8 up with 20 minutes to go with tries from Hardie, Mackintosh and Lyn but Southland came back thanks to Taylor(x2) and Crowden. / Canterbury saw off Waikato 46-13 with 19 points from DC. / Bay of Plenty beat Wellington 21-17 with two tries from Aporo (Creed) and ‘the’ Fuglistaller’ got one for Wellington. / Tasman stuffed Counties Manakau 51-55.

 

Some shorts:

7’s were accepted in the 2016 Olympics this week. They also hang around in the Commonwealth Games, Asian Games and will be in the Pan American Games in Mexico in 2011. That’s all good, the sport will get more recognition…it doesn’t necessarily need it, but my question is how the fuck did golf get in!

 

As ‘Eyebrows’ witnessed a raging free for all amongst schoolboy players and spectators from Auckland Grammar and Kelston Boys School, which stemmed from a fracas after a last minute try and involved up to 100 kids, New Zealand also learnt that Taranaki’s bid for the Super15’s had been turned down, leaving just Melbourne and PE to tussle it out.

 

By the way, Taranaki drew with Hawkes Bay 24-24 in the ANZC. And all together 9 kids got suspensions due to the fracas.

 

Dean Richards got 3 years for his blood ‘fracade’ at ‘Quins and most think it’s a bit harsh, but the harsh reality was that he just got caught. He takes full responsibility was also a tad bemused, he said, “I honestly believe I was acting in the best interest of the Club and my colleagues, a clearly mistaken belief.” – Yep, though yes, you were most certainly hard done by, but dem’s the laws lad.

 

Ok, lastly; it’s the Bledisloe this weekend and all to play for in terms on the Tri-Nations. DC’s back for the Blacks and although most say the Git is hot on his heels or even past him, the man has the utmost respect for him saying, “I consider him probably the best fly half in the world.” – ‘probably’.

 

Other changes are Elsom back for the Wallabies and O’Connor to start at fullback – all good. McAlistair back and Nonu to start on the bench and Rockoko still in with no room at all for Jane – not so good, but never mind, I’ll see her Phuket this weekend!

 

fool says: Australia 22 – 17 New Zealand

 

 

Some competitions now:

 

WIN a PRIZE!

 

John Smit’s XV; films where the villain is played by a Brit –: have some fun and try to name the actor!!! - This particular team will be finished… fool promises! – Only two to get.

If you’re wondering why it’s John Smit’s XV, it’s because he’s the current World Cup winning captain, so we’ve got another three bloody years of him yet!

 

15.    Salom's Lot 14. Robin Hood  13. The Patriot  12. The Great Race  11. Pink Panther  10. Day of the Jackal 9. Silence of the Lambs  8. Braveheart  7. Lord Voldahart or as fool thinks it; Lord Vodaphone  6. Die Hard 5. Dracula (Any with Christopher Lee) 4. Bramstokers Dracula 3. ?   2. Snake from the Simpsons 1. ?

There’s a free t-shirt in the post for anyone who can up with the props here – I’m sick of it – ha, ha…nurse… - have received two props recently in Ray Winston and Bob Hoskins, but what films?

 

end rugby here!

 

Ok, a willow the wisp of cricket now:

 

Has England got the runs to do it? I don’t know, but they sure have the trots. And that’s about as close as I can get to a simple, yet effective, Benny Hill style introduction for Jonathan Trot replacing the hapless run machine in Ravi Bopari, who apparently is still the chirpiest man on the English fringe despite being dropped… ‘A-ha, ha, ha, did I tell you I’m from Essex, a-ha, ha, ha…I’ll keep the changing room banter teetering on maniacal over-happy induced Prozac…a-ha, ha, ha…and I thought it was the Bell who tolled last week…a-ha, ha, ha…’

 

Jonathan, born in Cape Town and lived there till he was 21 when he escaped the ‘quota system’ that prevails and is now ready to take on the Aussies in some English flannel, he said, “Any match in which you make your debut will be huge but I’ve picked a good one, I think!” – Don’t think…you are.

 

Mike Hussy reckons he’ll get a rapturous welcome from the visiting team and suggested, “He’ll know all about it.”

 

And no-one has mentioned Dirk Diggler…yet!

 

I thought it was a shame Rob Key didn’t get a run, as he likes a bit of banter in the middle, and being the skipper of the Lions is, well, just about where he’s going to stay, which is a shame, (as said, weren’t you listening?) because he’s actually quite good.

 

Let’s face it Tresco was never going to happen, not since his run-in with that Pakistani cab driver, and then on the other side of the fence the Clarke, Hauritz, Siddle debate still rages, and believe you me, that little conundrum might be the single snowball to effect the result for this ‘cup final’ Ashes Test – think about it… done it? – Good.

 

Everyone’s lauding the Freddie fella, what with it being his last Test an all, and Michael Clarke, the player of the series so far on 445 runs at an average of 89, summed him up alright, “We have the ultimate respect for him. But for us personally, we want to make sure our minds are solely on the game. After that, I’m sure we’ll go in the dressing room and have a beer with him to celebrate a great career.”

 

So, will the Bell tell or Clarke be the key – there’s a punned word search in there somewhere – you look for it, I’m gonna leave you with a word from Swanny, as per, this time on the Fred fella…again; “He’s the kind of bloke you would want to have a pint with. And you wouldn’t mind if he took your missus or your sister out. I haven’t got a missus or a sister but if I did, yeah I wouldn’t mind one bit. Honest! It’s Fred after all.” – Say no more.

 

fool says: … na, I cant!

 

Lastly, lastly; Bangles player Habibal Bashir was out in Dubai playing against Zim, when he felt a bit peckish on his 37th birthday, so he rang up a curry house he once acquainted himself with in England during the recent Twenty/20 World Cup bash. Two chefs flew over meals from Cobham Surrey at a total expense of £4,270. Manager Amin Ali said, “He took our card and said he’d be in touch. It’s nice he thought that much of our food.” – The Bangles must be doing alright

 

Lastly, school’s in Southampton offer a free curry to parents whose children do not play truant. A 95% or higher attendance rate gets you a £40 ruby – that’s got nothing to do with cricket but had that curry taste to it – I might use it again in the news if I’m short – no jokes please.

 

Other sports:

 

All the talk’s been about, well, it’s obvious isn’t it…it’s all been about the UFC101 star Natasha Wicks who was the Octagon girl for July… oh, excuse me, wrong rag,

 

News this week was all about the fastest man on the planet Usain Bolt. Just about everyone ran ‘real quick’ in Berlin but no-one did 9.58…like him or even except him. He said afterwards, with a matter of fact twang; “I was ready, I was feeling good. (trained by James Brown) I just went out there and executed it ( re-trained by Marvin Gaye). I knew I had no worries. I told you I would come here and do my best.” (re-re-trained by Gary Coleman)

 

And now let’s hear it for the news: Bong, bong, bong:

 

Who says kids are watching too many screens? Why, on average they only get 2hrs 43mins on the TV, 3hrs 44mins on the computer, 49 mins texting, 38 mins on a mobile internet, 1hr 6mins playing games on a console and 54mins on handheld devices such as an iPod – a day. What else is there to do.

 

Go cut wood

 

Go and look for plants…that’s what. Stuart McPherson and Alistair Robinson did just that on the side of a Pilipino mountain and found one that eats rats. High up on Mount Victoria the boffs from Cambridge University (I think, I might have just made that up – they’re certainly not kids!) found a new species of the Pitcher plant that is green and red and can grow it’s stem up to 4ft long, and it genuinely does eat rats. The pair spent 3 years studying the ‘man-eater’ and finally named it after Sir David Attenborough; the Nepenthes attenboroughii. David said he was, ‘delighted’. He’s already got a giant marine dinosaur named after him, a wasp and a rare tree.

 

Also found high up mountains

 

The World Cancer Research Fund are at it again and warning us about processed food and its evidence, especially in the older generation, of contributing to bowel cancer. Well, more than contributing, actually it’s giving. Marie Craze, no relation, who is the children’s education manager for WCRF thought it best to warn the children now and stated, “It is better if children learn to view processed meat as an occasional treat if it’s eaten at all.” – Does she realise we’re talking about bacon here…does she!

 

Crazy rock n roll capes XXXXXIIIIVVIVI! Led Zeppelin’s ‘Black Dog’ is called so because when they were recording the song a huge black dog strolled in the studio, Which makes you wonder what it was called before!

 

Every time a British business man cheated on his wife he bought her a diamond. Robert Charlton stayed with his faithful wife for 26 years before he died in 1979. He ended up giving her 43 diamonds at a price worth £300,000. By the way, he made his money in a hosiery packing business – what’s that? Packing hoses!

 

Peter Kay corner – very Cooper-esque, but has actually been replaced by Steve Wright: A fool and his money are soon partying

 

Chito is a 52 year-old Costa Rican who has a 17ft, 980lb pet crocodile called Pocho. He took the wounded croc in to his home after a farmer shot it in the back, leaving it for dead on a river bank. After 20 years of nursing him, feeding him, training him and ultimately befriending him the two have become inseparable. He even ‘heel’s when whistled. He does the odd show for tourists after word got out, but feels no urge to rake it in from his scaly beast, he explains, “He’s my friend. I don’t want to treat him like a slave or exploit him. I am happy because I rescued him and he is happy with me because he has everything he needs.” – Chito’s real name is Gilbert Shedden – I thought you might like to know that.

 

Keeping on that continent; a 17 year serial killer has handed herself in to police because in Sao Palo because she doesn’t want to get caught when she’s 18 and have to go to the ‘Big House’. The un-named girl who has reportedly stabbed up to 30 men said, “I am confessing because I promised I would do so before becoming 18 – to avoid upsetting my family.” – Bless her.

 

careful

 

Perhaps she was in cahoots with the TV crime show host of Canal Livre. Ex cop Wallace Souza is on trial after suspicions of arranged killings to improve ratings, as his crew were always first on the scene of murders, police chases, raids and arrests. His son is also charged with drug trafficking, threatening witnesses and possessing firearms – that’s how Peter Parker does it.

 

Souza?

 

Ok lastly John Cleese 69 has divorced his third wife Alyce Faye Eichelberger 64 in a £12.5m deal. That’s £8m cash and the rest in assets, which include £612k a year for 7 years. That leaves him with only £10m. Still, he had time to ponder somewhat depleted prosperity; “I got off lightly.” He said, “Think what I’d have had to pay Alyce if she had contributed anything to the relationship.”

 

assets

 

Toodle-pip

 

just cf it

 

cf


 

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