13th - 19th March 09 volume 321
March, 19th 2009 05:53 AM

‘Play’, quizzes, trivia, sponsors, sport and world news – it’s all in

crazy fool’s  newsround

 

That was the week weren’t it;

 

The scene: fool is inside Dusty Bin, the iconic echelon of wizardry in game show greatness. If you don’t know the show then Dusty Bin was considered the forerunner of modern robotics which evolved from this plastic dustbin which proudly displayed a crazed smiley face consisting of; buck teeth, and a huge red hooter. Stuck on the sides were a couple of Mr. Potato Head’s arms on steroids and down below a couple of springy legs sat upon pair of clod-hopper clowns feet. Dusty was the shows mascot and huge hit. Its master was Ted Rogers who hypnotises both Dusty and the audience with his three finger twist.

 

Ted: So, Dusty, what a show we’ve got tonight

 

fool/Dusty: That’s right Ted and believe it or not it’s our 321st, hence…

 

Ted: Fuck me a talking dustbin

 

 

 

Narrator: Rubbish, get him off…it really is rubbish isn’t it…you couldn’t make it up…

 

fool: That’s how Ernie Wise started out with his play writing

 

Narrator: Yeah, and ended up. Get on with the show fool

 

 

1.   When was Mr. Potato head invented?

 

2.  Which organisation financed Roman Polankski’s Macbeth?

 

3.  In which country is the city of Accra?

 

4.  What name is given to the straight line that joins any two points on the circumference of a circle?

 

5.  Louis Daguerre took the first photograph of what?

 

6.  What is the only English anagram of FRETFUL?

 

7.  In which Melbourne suburb was Dame Edna Everage brought up?

 

8.  What film was made from the book Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? A) Electric Dreams B) Blade Runner C) Fahrenheit 451

 

Get all the answers and more in the *Comps & results page – or buzz him, manually, on cf.crazyfool@gmail.com 

 

WHO AM I? – 2009 – And suddenly everyone’s a contestant! The answer to this bundle of bunch: Clue No.1, “One of my best outfits frog-marched me all the way to a No.1 best seller.” – Clue No.2, “You’d be surprised that I got my eyes re-focussed back in 1976.” And Clue No.3. “Fuzzy haired at four years old in 1970, this is the year I also got my scar!” Up to clue No.4; “I had a comeback in 93 but I wasn’t as good” This is clue No.5 “Woody, Power Rangers, The A Team, they had nothing on me” Now clue No.6; “Throughout the UK and the Commonwealth I was started out as Palitoy back in ‘66’, although I stemmed from a Has ‘been’ bro in Yank-land in ‘64’” – was of course Action Man and first off the boat was The Eagle, which currently lands him in the top spot. But what’s that got to do with this week’s clue? Nada, so here it is: Clue No.1: “A hybrid of arms, hair and coolness I carried a fiery beat.”

 

 

is it me?
is it me?

For previous results in the Main Comp – check the *comps and results page.

 

Scores at the end of week 10 in the 2009 Main Comp series - with a sub points tally in brackets for the first answer in:

 

For those who wear women’s underwear; ‘you’re either a woman or very eccentric, bordering freak, semi-lunatic, probably dangerous…what’s it like?’… ‘N’err…get your own fatso…’:

 

Dracule: 1, 1 (1)

 

Legal Eagle: 1, 1 (1, 1)

 

Hannibal Lecherure: the song remains the same (LZ):

 

Silent Third Party, formerly known as Quizmaster: 1

 

Casualty: zip

 

Others: 1

 

Quote(s) for the week:

And in a packed show tonight we’ll be talking to by long-distance phone to a Scotsman who found an Australian penny and emigrated

The Two Ronnies

 

*Non-descript trivia moment*

 

            SOME MORE NOUNS OF ASSEMBLANCE

 

A murder of crows

A bunch of rags

A barren of mules

A pontification of priests

A rag of colts

 


fool’s Gold

 

  • Electricity doesn’t move through wire but through a field around wire

 

  • Almonds are members of the peach family

 

  • In Japan 20% of all publications sold are comic books

 

 

Dr. Phil Ology’s word of the week:

 

“Words, don’t come easy to me, how can I find the way to make you love me, oh words, they don’t come easy…”

 

This week’s word is Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.

 

And the meaning? - Ridiculously it is the fear of long words!

 

Dr. Phil wants to turn back the clock and ask the Monty Python crew to do a sketch on Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia:

 

Therapist: So how long have you suffered from Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

 

Patient: arghhhhhhhh!!

 

Therapist: hmm I see - do you think Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia has anything to do with your involuntary screaming?

 

Patient: argggggggh!!!

 

(etc.)

(Ed: Ernie Wise could have filled in the etc)

 

Things that are really getting on my nose, up my goat and around my wick this week:

Sneaky, low life dirty little bastards that haven’t got the balls to be direct, the Gaul to call you out, the pluck to hear the answer. No, they just linger, festoon your mind and feather their intentions till suddenly they’ll make the call, yes you know who I’m talking about, you know who you are, you, you sneaky little fuckers, yep - windy vegetables, because not all are…sautéed pokchoy and garlic was my down fall the other day, that, snuggled with a few dates out of date snake n pigmy. At 3 o’clock in the morning there was a force 9 gale in my bedroom that blew the wardrobe door shut, I reckon I woke the street up – lingering windy vegetables – BASTARDS!

 

 

Things that are just Sweet Love:

I’m really into karma at the moment and I’d like you to have the good things in life that I’m currently experiencing, so why not try the fool’s windy free shepherd’s pie available at all god stockists now – well it’s available on line – try it – you might like it!... Sorry, we just had a call come in from Hannibal Lecherure from the WAI? Section, he said it gave him wind. Well sometimes Hannibal that can be a good thing and if you limit your intake of fool’s pie to say one a week then you’ll look forward to that limited windy experience – I hope that helps – Try it today; cf’s shepherd’s pie – wind free…almost. Available online now.

 

 

A viewer’s favourite haystacks from Bosnia #9

 Missing this week - back next

 

 

 

And now this bit:

 

 

Ladies and folk please step aside for cfn's brave, brave sponsors…

 

Pacharan Tapas & Bodega: bodega, oh baby when you dance like that. ½ price sangria, mojito and buckets of wine by the err, bucket... plus beer, oh yes beer, don't forget the beer...they have beer you know. The best Spanish cuisine in Saigon this side of Spain - Which is just to the right of VietnamI think! – Some cracking live music too folks. – I hear things are going Bacardi Loco!

 

 

GTM: Probably, nope not probably, but, the best set of garden and leisure furniture in the world. See the *classified section under business opportunities for more details.

 

 

Bootlace: Walking holidays in the Alpujurras, Sierra Nevada, Spain. Click the link on the logo on the right and walk into happiness.

 

Kim Hai Trading Co.,LTD:   Mate, fool’s pies are loaded with the minced lamb and they’re the go – Got any pies?

 

 

 

Jaspas: Marguerite madness on a Friday is pure madness – Go nuts for it – I am. See them in the *classifieds. There’s more on offer here that meets the eye – look out for their superb long-lunch deals – they're long, lunchy and superb and they're in Saigon, Vietnam! Porcini steak is a must – glug it down with a splash of Tatachilla Cabinet Shiraz – available from Vino, Saigon – I’m coming after yer Jim!

 

 

Al Frescos: Take home two pizzas and only pay for one – I ask you – that’s just crazy - every Tuesday at Al’s – make it a date. Their ribs are xxxceptional too. Check the *classifieds for their new restaurant in Saigon, Vietnam – is it nearer to you?

 

 

Alibi: Good food, good wine, good beer, come here. It’s in Saigon – they have five big flat screen TV’s there now – pretty good to catch this week’s Six Nations on.

 

 

 

 

Don't forget the *classifieds – something for the weekend? - Just a haircut please.

 

 

Ok, what’s on in cfn this week? – Remember, there’s a lot more on offer in the menu on the left, but in the meantime the fool recommends these:

 

*Digger; unmasks his scribbles for the week…defo

 

*Trigger: takes ta tote to a t’other dimension…to be sure

 

*cf's new radio show: - OUT NOWish new and improved, with all the buttons – use them, they’re fun - Next one out Soon, soon, very soon – maybe next week!

 

*Tit-bits – .../...No sex since 1955…/…/…/…

 

*Grub–Up – * New- New – new – although now slightly old* - Slice o' snake n pigmy pie with bogies is still doing the rounds whilst fool steady’s his kitchen. I’m making it this weekend if you’re interested? – Made it, loved it, ate it all in one sitting – 750g’s of the beast! – Although it was without the pie, kidney’s and oysters.

 

*Poetry Corner: Still reliving...I said re-living!... my youth and just can't get enough of Quadrophenia at the moment – try a slice of Roger's theme...goes to the tune of...¶ ♪♫ ♀ ♪  ♫…will keep it there, whilst I debate on the next one.

 

*old...Fishman...old...Fishman! – Read all the Fishman’s tails in… On The Pond, May ‘08’ – new one coming soon folks! But for now catch up on the exploding monkey, lesbian divers and may The Dog be with you!

 

And *Bongo Massif Bro’s – …’yer need a haircut before you go on?’

 

Mr. Meaner...  come take a trip on the wonder why, come take a slice of my pie – on sale now (without the sumo) for only 80,000vnd - packed with over 100’s grams of Kim Hai’s finest minced lamb and topped with a goat…err, sorry smacked with loads of stuff inside and topped with goats cheese – call fool on 090 330 1287 or simply reply on this site (contacts page) to order – Now… or later… or just when you want, no rush.

 

I'll have one
I'll have one

 

 

Now then, you’re just in time for the rugby bit, dun, dun, duuun - for rugby folk ET all; but please, if you’re not keen, do move on:

 

The world and his wife hate England, it stands to reason, seen as they invented everything the Chinese didn’t, but most of God’s kids had a butchers at what has been the only second decent spectacle in the Six Nations this season – the other being France  v Wales.

 

Super 14’s is getting in its stride, but don’t tell Eddie O’Sullivan that, and…well, there’s always something else…hold on whilst I think of it…

 

Six Nations:

Italy invited Wales over to their country for a bit of ‘kick a boot’ and the Welsh nearly returned to Welsh-land as red as their jerseys. Italy were on top of their game, not only where it was expected in the forwards but the backs had their run of it too.

 

A try was elusive but Andrea Mercati’s five penalties kept them in the game…no sorry, kept them ahead of the game and bar a nice change of direction from Henson to feed a Shane Williams try on the left, the Iti’s had the very clueless Welsh team on the rack. A Welsh team who still have no plan ‘B’, and got sucked into the Iti’s forward might. Gatland said afterwards; “I thought Sergio Parrisse was outstanding.”

 

Still, the game trudged along with no real grip, and the Italians had you feel it was always going to loosen even further so. It did when a late try by sub Tom Shanklin went over on the left through a very tired defence.

 

Hensen was beside himself with rage at Wales ineptitude and had words with stand in skipper on the pitch at full time. He felt the penalty they were awarded on full time was a waste of time to go for the posts, which they missed, and they should’ve just kicked it out and got off the field, he said, “Jamie Roberts touched it once, God knows how many times the wingers touched it. We made hard work of it, but to be fair the Italians were very good.”

 

Nick Mallet was just relieved, “For the first time as a team we stuck to what we practised.”

 

Up in Murrayfield passions were high with the Scots taking it to the Irish and winning the entire, not some, not most, but all the breakdown ball, well, ok, most. They then fucked it up in the second half as the glue fell apart and eventually went down 22-15.

 

Even so, the first half did see the Scots produce clean quick ball which fed Lawson up the middle, which they did again and again. Once they came close with a blistering hank for the line by Thom Evans, but he was smashed feet from the chalk by a cracking Tommy Bowe tackle. With Chris Paterson’s 100% boot they went into the half on top.

 

Ireland’s pack then had a brain wave, which turned out to be the notion to play and although it wasn’t pretty, Munster’s play never is, they slowly destroyed Scotland, with O’Gara on hand with a reliable boot. A try induced from Stringer off the back of a very comical lineout where the halfback was allowed 30m’s up field swerving on Paterson’s inside to deliver the scoring pass to Heaslip on the left all but left Scotland for dead. Ireland now had the stranglehold and everyone knew it.

 

Meanwhile at Twickenham you’d be forgiven for describing this first half as one of the most entertaining, clinical and direct pieces of rugby you’ve ever seen, anywhere, any time – no shit – it was just nuts!

 

Will Carling harped on in the week about not giving the French an inch, England didn’t and steam-rolled into action with good quick recycled ball a ferocity at the breakdowns we haven’t seen for a while, a bullet proof defence and such quick direct execution to their running, that blinking and rubbing of the eyes was a necessity.

 

The first try came on 70 seconds with Flutey dashing past a helpless Chabal and passed to Cueto who rounded the wing under the posts. Then from a set piece the olde inside/outside move came off, with Cueto in off the wing through the centres and the ball spun outside again, to Flutey to score. In between a few bouts of Bastreuads (still is) and Harinodorquoy’s runs at the English Flutey ripped the ball from Chabal and spun it for Armitage to touch down. Meanwhile the forwards were wining every set and ruck with Tom Croft and Borthwick huge stand outs.  And still the England attacks came, this time with a chip from Flood and gather that left him inches short, yet it was recycled again and fed down the line with Borthwick giving the scoring pass to Worsley. Half time was just an excuse to double check if it really happened. And five minutes into the second half Ellis put a crunching tackle on Jauzion, he spilled it, Goode rolled it back to Tindall onto Armitage who reminded us of a Guscott gazelle and sprinted up field with Flutey in support to take the pass and make it try number 5…!

 

France got two tries back through pretty boy hooker Szarweski and wing Malzieu but it didn’t matter the game was won. 34-10 seemed a little disappointing, but Borthwick had his philosophical hat on. “I firmly believe that if we keep doing good things, good things will happen for this team.”

 

The second half didn’t emulate the first, a few mistakes and penalties crept in, there were still the odd break, especially from Tindall and everyone knows a full 80 is required, however, Jonno was cheery, and “The early score gave us a real good feel-good factor, all those things you can’t get out of a bottle.” – And God knows he’s tried.

 

Super 14’s

The Crusaders held off the Force 23-23 in a ding-dong affair which saw the best of the Canterbury outfit for some time, although only in the first half. And yet another spell bound performance from the Git – he’s good that lad. The C’s racked up three tries in the first half; good ball from Brett, back at his more comfortable No.10 position, his pass found Isaac Ross. He then put a grub through off a linout for Bateman to touch down and Ryan Crotty finished a fine run of play through ten pairs of hands on the left hand side. The second half was all about the Git though; from the back of a lineout he turned the defence inside and out before giving it to Haig Sare to score. Drew Mitchell was just as effective, but it was another inside sweep from the Git and off load to O’Connor who scored the next.

 

The Chiefs beat the Highlanders 14-10 with a similar story but this time Lelia Masaga doing all the damage – a girls name I know. The Highlanders scored off a Bowden, Smith and Fetu’u Vainakolo move. And Messam and Latimer continued the hard graft for the Chiefs – all in the fool’s fantasy recipe I may add – the latter touched down as did the said Lelia who had to dance around four tackles for his classic try.

                                                                                     

The Cheetahs succumbed to the Bulls 12-46 with Chris Lowry doing most of the bullish work. Toeava, Heller, Moa and Sylie added tries but the best came from the Cheetahs when de Villiers bust through the middle and fed a hungry Corne Uys.

 

Th Reds continued to be the most entertaining side in the comp with a surprise win over the Sharks 25-13 at the Suncorp. Berrick Barnes took control of proceedings and the MB pairing of Jacobs and Steyn had a torrid time in the centres. Ben Lucas made sure Adam Byrnes opened the scores with a nice over head pass then Blair Connor added to it with help from Lucas’ replacement, Will Genia. Krockett kept the Sharks in the game with the boot, but the likes of Scott Higginbotham muscled up in defence letting only the powerful Kankowski to touch down through a bust on the left. When Steyn made another mistake Peter Hynes was on it and scarpered up to the 22 where it was recycled for Digby to take the Queenslanders out of site.

 

The Stormers smashed the Lions 56-18 at Newlands but you’d be surprised to know that it wasn’t the scorelined thrashing you’d be expecting – the Lions were good and in the thick of it and scored the best try of the day when Ludvik split the centres to score. Bekker was just everywhere for the Capetonians, he’s a doctor isn’t he? And well, who am I kidding? The Stormers then took the Lions apart in the last 20 with scores from Louw, Bobo, Neqelevakia, De Villiers and Duverge.

 

Lastly, the Tah’s gave us another borefest with a defeat to an almost exciting Brumbies 21-11. For half hour the game was on the expectations high. Brumbies ran hard and straight and got just rewards when Mortlock did just that and fed an outside Ashley-Cooper. Then it all went very boring, The Tah’s packed a neat scrum, Lachie snuck a consolation try but don’t wait for Kurtly Beale and his outside boys to thrill you because they won’t.

 

Some Shorts:

Don Barrell snuck a late try for Sarries to stamp home against bath, which had it all; running, tackling, scoring… fighting. Anyway, they beat Bath and stuck two fingers up at MB Venter. Eddie Jones had already quit this week before he was to be ousted this summer and reiterated the point; “I’m disappointed. I brought my family here and intended to build a strong club.” – He’s going to Suntory Club in Japan now. Well, maybe not now, but in the morning or late afternoon, maybe.

 

Former Irish boss Eddie O’Sullivan, now the USA boss, says he doesn’t even bother to watch Super 14’s anymore as it makes him too frustrated due the imposed SANZAR ELV’s which have turned the game into a boring ariel ping-pong boring kick fest. Which of course he is right and exactly what the fool said months ago, he states, “The idea of going off your feet at the breakdown is not just of the experimental law variations, but is being blamed for teams not running with the ball, as though it is too risky to run, so you had better kick it.” – Ever seen that!!! Fuck the short arms, bring back the long arms and let’s get structure and risk back in rugby. – Selling more tickets…my arse!

 

fool’s Six Nations predictions:

Italy will have a go at France but France will have a bigger go at the Iti’s and beat them…easily

 

fool says: Italy 13 France 25

 

At Twickenham England are coming off a good win. The Scots will want to reap their dues. They won’t get them They taunted the English too much after their Murrayfield victory last year and now it will come back to chew their arses off and they will pay

 

fool says: England 28 Scotland 10

 

The decider is a toughie; the Welsh, the fool doesn’t rate! The Irish are stubbornly boring result-ists. They’ll grind the Welsh, who will show snippets of flair before the more pragmatic Irish will twat them and and say ‘hey, enough of this fucking shite’

 

fool says: Wales 21 Ireland 27

 

I’m done.

 

John Smit’s XV; films where the villain is played by a Brit –: This particular team will be finished sometime in 2008-ahem-2009 – the fool promises! – Only two to get. Please call now: please, someone call…

 

Called the John Smit’s XV, as he’s the current World Cup winning captain, so we’ve got another three and a half bloody years of him yet!

 

15.    Salom's Lot 14. Robin Hood  13. The Patriot  12. The Great Race  11. Pink Panther  10. Day of the Jackal 9. Silence of the Lambs  8. Braveheart  7. Lord Voldahart or as fool thinks it; Lord Vodaphone  6. Die Hard 5. Dracula (Any with Christopher Lee) 4. Bramstokers Dracula 3.?   2. Snake from the Simpsons 1.?

There’s a free tshirt in the post for anyone who can up with the props here – I’m sick of it.

 

end rugby here!

 

Put me down for two
Put me down for two

Ok, a willow the wisp of cricket now:

 

I’m going to tell you the way it is, alright. I haven’t got much, I’m a busy fool, and sadly cricket has to take the brunt, I’m sorry ok, but that’s just the way it is. (Get on with it fatso)

 

The fact is that New Zealand started their first Test against India in the Long White Cloud-land this week and both Ryder and Vettori got a ton on day one to relieve an otherwise hapless scoreline. Ryder did it with a newspaper on his head!

 

Another fact is that England are not very good at cricket! In Levi’s games as skipper they have played 14 - lost 8 and drawn 6. The most recent was a six wicket defeat to the Windies in their Twenty/20.

 

Keeper Stephen Davies top scored with 27 and Bopari was with him for a while and looking comfortable then there were three run-outs and 6ft 7in spinner Sulieu Benn did the rest.

 

Ronnie Sarwan helped himself to 59, and his mates, you know, one of the other Windies chaps helped him finish.

 

Andy Flower admitted the World Cup in the summer is a daunting prospect; “We’re a long way from a successful formula in the Twenty/20.” – ‘You’re a long way from home. Oh, oh ooooah, I don’t like cricket no, I…’ – In fact the World Cup is in England. – ‘…love it yeah…don’t like Jamaica, no, I lover her…yeah’

 

Australia kick off their third Test against South Africa in Capetown today and Bloke Down the Pub reckons the Proteas have run themselves into a corner. He also reckons Brett Lee has absolutely no chance of spearheading their Ashes bowling let alone even getting in the side…ahem, let alone even playing for his country again.

 

Bloke also says to look out for similarities between Tony Cosea and Michael Jackson – if you spot them, write them on a postcard and send to fool’s; ‘have you spotted any similarities between Tony Cosea and Michael Jackson competition’

 

News just in is that Geoff Miller, the England selector and stand up comedian is not happy that two Aussie players are to get match practise in England in the build up to the Ashes.

 

Phil Hughes and Steven Clarke will play for Middlesex and Kent respectively and Miller said: “I’m disappointed, to be honest. It doesn’t help England’s cause. I don’t get involved in counties’ affairs but, as a principle, giving players experience of English conditions leading up to The Ashes is not a good thing for us.

“I don’t see the Australian states allowing England players to appear before an Ashes series there.

I didn’t find any of that funny, did you?

 

I'll have the fat edge
I'll have the fat edge

That’s it.

 

Other sports:

 

No news is good news – and fool hasn’t got any, but that’s not necessarily a good thing – although I can tell you that Brit Jo Jackson smashed the women’s swimming 400m freestyle world record with 4m.00.66secs and took rival Rebecca Adlington over the line in a record breaking time too – that’s two for the price of one, very worthy in these dark times.

 

I'll do the dishes
I'll do the dishes

And now let’s hear it for the news: Bong, bong, bong:

 

Pinky the parrot who entertained Winston Churchill in 1946 is still riding her bicycle on a high wire 63 years later. The Moluccan Cockatoo, now 67, is still a hit at Miami’s Jungle Island. Manager Ryan Prentice said, “Pinky was the No.1 star when Churchill came.” Ryan then went a bit weird; “She sings and says some words. Imagine what she might say if she could talk properly. Parrots live till 100. Maybe she will learn a few more words in her later years and tell us about the meeting.” – Too many Tin Tin adventures Ryan.

 

The British Naturist Society has stated that if folk were akin to a slap more nudity there might be less teenage pregnancies. In a letter to the Scottish Government ‘starker-ists’ said, “Anyone who advocates prudery should be required to stand in front of a group of pregnant teenagers and explain why it is that, in countries such as Denmark and the Netherlands, most of them wouldn’t be pregnant.” – The ‘starker-ists’ carry on to state that Britain is the ‘least liberal’ of the European countries, and; “The UK is the most censorious country in Europe about anything to do with the body.” – And that’s why there’s Benny Hill, Carry On films and West End farces – No Sex Please, We’re British.

 

Starker-ists
Starker-ists

Remember Adam Rosberg, the young lad who broke into an adult sex shop in Cairns Australia and stole three blow up dolls some lubricant and a couple of grot mags then proceeded to have sex with them on the street? No? Oh well, he just got 15 months probation and had to pay ₤50 costs plus damages to the shop. By all accounts he is a normal person, whom his girlfriend verifies, but as he said, “I had a few drugs that day; hallucinogens and amphetamines. I was at a mate’s birthday celebrations. Ever since I haven’t touched a thing.” – Blimey, you shag one sheep eh! Which reminds me; fool’s shepherd’s pie is open for business – delivered anywhere in the world – our motto is, ‘We’ll get it there if it kills us’ – might change that…

We'll bike it to you
We'll bike it to you

 

Talking of Australia, a British nurse was rejected a post in a NSW hospital on the grounds of not taking an English language test. In response to the questionnaire she said, “Are you joking? I’m from England.” The states conservative opposition said, “bureaucracy gone mad”. Not really, she could’ve been a Geordie.

 

Crazy rock n roll capes XXXXXIIIIVVIVI! Elvis wore high turned up collars because he believed his neck was too long.

 

On a serious note Col. David Wood 85 died this week. He was the last surviving member involved in the Pegasus Bridge Raid in World War II. He led a platoon that were flown in behind enemy lines in Northern France and took out the Pegasus Bridge and other bridges near Ouistrehem, in order to stop the German advance on Sword Beach on D-Day 6th June 1944. David got shot in the leg for his troubles by machine gun and ended up with one leg shorter than the other by one half inches. He retired from the army in 1978 and received the MBE. Captain Peter Hodge of the Normandy Veterans Association said, “He was absolutely remarkable – one of the nicest men anyone was ever likely to meet. In Army veteran circles he was a household name.” – Lest ye forget ladies and Gentlemen, eh, eh, or we’d all be talking Kraut – no offence Krauts… Take a look at the film The Longest Day.

 

Peter Kay cornervery Cooper-esque: “When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike then I realised the Lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.”

 

Jerry Jovola is 29 and from Finland, no big deal. He had a motorbike accident (hit a deer) and lost the nib of his finger, no big deal. But now the PC programmer from Helsinki has got a plastic finger with a built in USB, he says, “I simply put my finger in to the USB port of the computer and pull out the hand when I need it. Afterwards the finger goes back on.” … No big deal.

 

Oh deer
Oh deer

The first ever Superman comic book sold on an internet auction this week for ₤225,000. The original was bought in 1938 for ₤1. So if you keep this edition of cfnr you’ll be able to pay off your mortgage in 70 years!

 

Grrr
Grrr

Ok lastly, cameraman Justin Sisely is offering $20,000 AU for a couple of virgins to lose their virginity on film in a documentary he’s making. He’s even giving up 90% of future auctions. The Victoria Monaal University in Melbourne wasn’t happy with the posters he put up saying “Virgins Wanted’ and tore them down – prudes! Justin defended himself as an artist and said he was, “exploring the idea of virginity as a commodity.” And, “It’s a one-time thing, it’s not like they’re continually going to be a prostitute.” – That’s right Justin. He’s already had 100 people asking to audition. Meanwhile another Australian business man is rubbing up the church the wrong way by offering up $5m for a Californian virgin in the shape of 22 year old Natalie Byle 22 – that’s through a Nevadan brothel if you want to out bid him! – What’s the world coming to? – Each to their own.

 

Goodnight
Goodnight

How much for the goat?

 

just cf it

 

cf

 

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