11th - 17th Feb 2011 volume 419
February, 16th 2011 19:45 PM

“Hold on to your head

Hold on to your hat”

(Rolling Stones)

 

 

 

You’re reading crazy fool’s  newsround – the world’s news according to crazy fool all rounded up in a weekly bundle of:

 ‘Play’, quizzes, trivia, sponsors, sport and world news – not necessarily in that order

(fresh edition brought to your doorstep every Friday morning – may contain nuts)

Plus; the radio show – with a new look!

 

Click on this logo in home page – good one this week; local lad – The One With Pat

 

Reporter: crazy fool

 

Published 17.2.11                                           

For 2nd Battalion The Royal Welsh

And now let’s hear it for the news: Bong, Bong, bong:

Brought to you by

 

 

If you want to get ahead – get a hat

Keeping in touch with fantasy, scientists have invented a real life thinking cap which works by transposing electricity through the brain.

 

Conjured at the University of Sydney’s Centre for the Mind, electrodes were used to suppress the left side of the brain and ‘ignite’ the right’s more creative flank thus offering the opportunity to, ‘look at the problem anew.’

 

Allan Snyder who led the team said it works on the simple method of  bashing yourself on the left side of the head with a hammer and suddenly realising how many different ways there are of spelling Alan; almost much as much as Iain, he surmised.

 

Inspired by such accident victims, tests to prove its authenticity concluded that three times as many ‘guinea pigs’ could solve a maths problem wearing the magic hat, by simply looking at the problem in a different light.

 

Allen concluded, ‘The dream is that one day we may be able to stimulate the brain in a particular way to give you, just momentarily, an unfiltered view of the world.’ – And realise its inside-out.

 

 

Ich bein ein bacon

In what can only be described as a right side of the brain eureka moment comes the bacon alarm clock.

 

Wake n’ bacon, I believe has been around many years, but as of yet failed to be given the go ahead for commercial production - a ‘left-sider’s market no doubt’

 

Slices of the wholesome good stuff are slipped onto a tray in a ‘magic box’ then heated ten minutes before waking by two halogen light bulbs.

 

Inventor Matty Sallin from New York describes the euphoric sensation; ‘It creates a mouth watering smell just strong enough to gently wake you up.’

 

Matty is now looking for a sponsor to make the ‘new wheel’ – well look no further Matty, fool is keen, although he’s not sure he’d get much sleep.

 

Wake up and smell the bacon

 

 

 

Suit you sir

New Zealand radio station Rock is giving away a Ukrainian wife along with a 12 night stay in the exotic Eastern Bloc getaway, plus £1000 spending money.

 

Their website says, ‘It’s actually going to happen. And oh boy, are there going to be some people with their panties in a twist over this one. The Rock is giving away a wife.’

 

New Thai airline PC Air who are the first in the world to employ Lady Boy trolly Dollies acknowledged they were keen to join forces with the radio station and would change their name to Cock Air.

 

 

Beggar’s belief

Meanwhile naked protests in China continue to be the craze, as 43 year-old Mir Wei stripped to the bone and refused come down from an electricity pylon.

 

Mr. Wei was complaining about the police crackdown on beggars in the Hechi area. Police eventually shot him down with a wildlife tranquiliser and caught him in a safety net, which they lay on the ground.

 

(Quick sponsor ad before the song that comes in the middle bit)

 

Crazy rock n roll capes No. XXXXXIIIIVVIVI! ‘Safety Dance was an incredibly annoying song from the 80’s by men without right sidings’.

 

Take it away the song in the middle bit: (only available on website!)

 

What they’ve recently said: ‘I put my hands up in the air, singing a-o’ Rhubarbs

 

Peter Kay corner – very Cooper-esque, except this is a Peter Cook quote, which is a cross between the Kay and Cooper but without the k! – Wrong, all wrong, we’re going back to 2005 and a slice of vocabulary – wrong again, we’ve done a full circle and it’s back to Tommy Cooper, but with some new one’s – keep up! ‘I went to the local video shop and said, ‘Can I borrow Batman Forever?’ He said, ‘No, you’ll have to bring it back tomorrow.

 

crazy fool’s

Kitchen

 Next instalment on Saturday 5th March – not moved this week - must be on!

Starring

Screaming Hypocrites

 

 

Chris & Louise

 

Tap Egavas

 

 

Great raffle prizes - All proceeds to…

 

www.100friends.org

 

Plus Sa’s infamous massaman

 

 

 

 

Wanna buy a condo?

 

www.highstylecondominium.com

Animal news

 

*Donald the dog travelled 32 km’s (20m) stuck to the front of a Honda Civic. The car owner thought he’d hit a fox, as the 14 year-old Jack Russell Cross got his leg wedged in the grill.

 

*Mrs Dedin saved her husband Tambun from a tiger whilst squirrel hunting in northern Malaysia by hitting it over the head with a soup ladle. Han heard his screams as he was dragged from a tree and came running in between cooking lunch.

 

 

Number crunching

 

 

*A Picasso piece fetched £25.2m, far exceeding the £12m expected price at London’s Sotheby’s. The nude was of his 17 year mistress Marie-Therese Walter, whom wifey, Russian-Ukrainian dancer Olga Khokhlova, became suspicious of, as she pointed out at the time that the face didn’t look like hers - The tits were hers for sure, but that distorted face!

 

*Baby Lei Yodi Miu has broken the world record for the most fingers and toes, at 26 – 7 toes on each foot and 6 fingers on each hand – don’t bother taking your socks off it doesn’t work.

 

*Valentine’s Day couples in Pattaya Thailand are attempting the longest kiss of 33 straight hours. Drinks are only to be consumed with straws and toilet breaks must be adjudicated by an official. Sitting or sleeping is also prohibited. The winners get a 50,000TBH (1,000) plus 100,000TBH in cash – just in; the winners managed 46hrs24m9s.

 

*The world’s oldest intact wedding cake is 113 years old – don’t bother looking it up, it’s a fact – trust the fool.

 

I’m off – come on Pig

 

Keep it turning, keep it wheel.

 

Just cf it

 

cf

p.s. for the latest news click on crazy fool’s Radio Show – click on red icon – top left of home page – new weekly updated shows Friday afternoon’s – two in the can waiting to be uploaded – another recorded this week – knock yourself out!

 

p.p.s. sport is back – and the mild PotDQT with slight Fras showers will return shortly!

 

 

 

Jaspas: Marguerite madness on a Friday is pure madness. See them in the *classifieds. There’s more on offer here that meets the eye – look out for their superb long-lunch deals – they’re long, lunchy and superb and they’re in Saigon, Vietnam! Salt ‘n’ pepper steak is a must – glug it down with a splash of Tatachilla Cabinet Shiraz

 
 
 

 

Other news