‘I've got all the talent in the world, right here in my mitts.' Said Harry the Eagle. ‘They're talons, you numbskull.' Replied Arthur ‘the whole' Bear, as he rested his giant hands on the bar, ‘Me on the other hand...' ‘Yes?' quizzed Harry anxiously, ‘get on with it...come on...why the big pause?'

Just remember folks, in this mid-limbo-no-man's land Christmas week that it is, dem's dere old ones will always be de old ones.

Are you born with or develop talent? Sure it's in your genes to be quick, but will a knock on the head or copious amounts of accidentally drunk salt water enhance the skill factor needed to be the best.

A dream of sanctuary within the realms of the best is a quest for all. A dream of knowledge secure within the half glass sceptics is a race for the sure. A dream of liquorice dabbed in the sherbet delight is within reach. A dream of when it'll happen is up to you.

Absolutely enough pony - get your jelly bean brains around these:

1. Who sang, ‘Billy don't be a hero'?

2. On which river is the Niagara Falls?

3. What word can go after ‘sea' and before ‘heart'?

4. Mathew Webb was the first person to swim what?

5. What Panamanian president was nicknamed Pineapple Face?

6. In scrabble what is the letter W worth?

7. On which river does Melbourne stand?

8. Linonophobia is a fear of what?

Enough goulash, where's the beef? Can't be bothered with answers from two weeks ago - you all got them all right!

Int. rugby last week was not. But what did happen on that, most memorable of days - 25^th - was, outside the pub street cricket, which was proudly greeted with mostly beer, wine and the odd ba so nam. There were four's, sixes, googley's and slips. Benno ‘mid-rift' Warne took a full stretch boundary catch and nearly another on the move on his bike! Prim ‘slightly larger than' Gooch snapped a couple of casuals at first mid on. Oh, but there were hits and tricks from all and sundry, but it was Simmo ‘the slant Jonty R' who took the preverbal at long leg, mid on, silly crouch, panic station, shit it's coming to me, scared skunk in the headlights, IN COMING - to take a fine grip and ‘how about ya' from Ben ‘ slugger massive' Daley. That was Pedro Primo's Play of the Day.

And now to something with less broccoli: Despite the Aussies snatching a draw from the jaws of victory last week in Perth, they've, now, pretty much secured the ‘Boxing Day' Test leaving the ‘Is-it's' on 99/6 at the end of day 4 and chasing 366.

Andrew Symonds has been the catch of this festive Test with a great turn around in form. He took three crucial wickets in the first innings and two in the second, but better still was a thundering 72 off 54, with the bat, including no less than 6 thumping 6's. And he's still got his part time job at Robinsons!

But the surprise of this series so far has been the Godfather of the ‘Pyjama Cricket Circus', Kerry Packer, who decided to pop his clogs, aged only 68.

He was a geezer that fella. Not only did he revolutionise cricket in the game itself and through the media back in the 70's, but it was his nod that gave the walking duck with the quack across the screens. Happy days.

Tony Grieg said of him, "It's a very sad day for all of us. I think that the big thing is that cricket has lost one of its greatest friends and supporters. Probably even bigger than that, Australia as a nation has lost a truly great Australian. Cricket the world over, I don't think, will ever know how different things would be without Kerry packer."

The richest man in Aus also liked a flutter too. Once in a casino in the States he was playing alongside a rather dis-shameful Texan who continually bragged about his wealth, Kerry getting wearisome asked him, ‘So how much are you worth then?' '50 million bucks.' Came the reply. Kerry looked him in the eye and said, ‘I'll toss you for it.' The man reputedly got up and walked away.

Ok. Diego Maradona maybe be making a come back! With 4^th league Argie side Excursionistas. The 45-year-old said on national T.V. the other day, "I'd like to play in Primera C or D as there is not too much pressure there." Good luck fat lad.

Lomu gets his first try for Cardiff - publicity does wonders eh?

A bit of vitamin D cuts the big C. No news there. The natural D, which is found in the sun, oily fish and eggs is a good guard against the breast, ovary and colon cancer. ‘They' say 0.025 milligrams a day is sufficient, but double that and you could ruin your liver and kidneys - oh crap, how much was in that tuna, and the eggs in the mayo and that sun, shit the sun - we're all going to die, can't you see...

Harry Potter has been the most popular web log over the last 12 months, with G. Bush 2^nd.

45% of 1000 Brits prefer a home cooked meal to romance...hang on, is that still going? Pass the shepherds pie please.

Kids are getting fatter by the year due to the new fango dango Christmas toys. They're all DVD's, ipods, blab la - where's the skate boards, space hoppers, cowboy suits - what was your favourite 70's toy?

On this day (29^th Dec) in 1170 Thomas Becket was murdered in Canterbury cathedral. ‘Who will rid me of this turbulent priest', said King Henry II, when he was a bit miffed. Once he'd calmed down he took it back and didn't mean he should be killed, but too late the ‘four riders of the Apocalypse' were on their way and despite trying to send word to reach them and stop them they had hacked him to pieces - oh well, where's your mobile now, see new toys are good.

Also on this day, psychologist Paula Hall reckons it's the best day for an argument. She said, "Most make it through Christmas day, Christmas eve and even Boxing Day, for the sake of the children and the in-laws. But by the 29^th tensions have often reached boiling point." I don't care about your stinking opinion Ms. fancy psycho Paula, where's the rest of the turkey?

It's also national pepper day in the States! Ah-bloody-choo.

Wanna song about a phone, call Blondie, she's the best in the business according to phone giants Toucan who did a survey. ‘Hanging on the telephone' is best phone song, followed by Stevie Wonders, ‘I just called to say I love you' and in third, yep, Blondie with ‘Call me'. Blondie, also the sexiest bird ever, in her hey day.

Ok, that's as much as I can muster for the hols.

Be sure to have a crazy new year now.

Prim